So, I’m a 16 year old male. I lift, I have a part time job, I have good friends, and during the school year I run track. Everything seems to be going in the right direction for me. I have a 15 year old girlfriend who I’ve been on and off with for two years. We got back together June 25 and apart from a 3 day break we’ve been together ever since. My girlfriend comes from a dysfunctional family and struggles with her own personal problems. I don’t want to expose her so I won’t stay on that topic for very long. However, we’ve been having a lot of unprotected sex and she’s starting to show signs of pregnancy. Nausea in morning, belly is getting bigger along with her breasts. I’m very scared and although I want to have kids with her one day, I don’t want that to be anytime soon. She hasn’t taken a test yet but I’m asking her to and also insisting everything now is with a condom (which I’ve never used). I’m very scared what’ll happen as her parents are strict and I know will not let us see each other, my parents would be disappointed. My mom is a conservative and if we have to get an abortion i could never tell her. Along with that, insurance can cover up the abortion but I don’t know what to do if I have to explain it somehow. It’s either that or take out 500 dollars which I do have but still suspicious. I’m scared and don’t know what to do.
TL;DR: Possibility of teen pregnancy, very scared.
Comments
If she’s showing the baby in her size, it must be far along. Ask her if she’s missed her periods, because they stop once her egg is fertilized. If you didn’t want kids, then you should be using protection.
She needs to take a pregnancy test and go to a doctor to confirm the results if the test is positive. If the test is positive, she can get what’s called a dating ultrasound to confirm how far along she is.
But first, she needs to take a test. Dollar Tree and Walmart has cheap tests, and they can be bought without your parent knowing. You need to do this sooner rather than later.
If the test is positive, both of you need to talk to your parents and let them help you.
Well, you know what they say about when you “fuck around”. Going unprotected was stupid. You’ve no one to blame. Hard to have sympathy, but I hope it works out for you. Having not been in that situation, I’m afraid I can’t offer advice.
sorry to hear that. you should both seriously talk about getting an abortion. apparently some states require minors to get parental consent before they can perform the procedure. you need to check the laws in your state to determine if it’s possible to get an abortion without your parents knowing.
if it is possible, i do think that’s the best path forward. next best case scenario is to explain the situation and the weird financial transactions after the procedure is already done.
in any case, having a child at this age will really change the course of both of your lives, and more likely in a negative way than a positive way
Not using a condom during sex is a huge way to fuck up your entire life at 16 years old. Always wear a condom. Did they stop teaching this in school??
When you’re old enough to vote, remember this, and vote accordingly.
No matter whether your girlfriend is pregnant or not, she needs to go to the doctor. Your insurance will not cover this. The doctor won’t even talk to you about what’s going on with her unless you just happen to be in the room when she’s getting info.
That being said, if she’s pregnant, your choices are done unless she lets you have them. Your choice was whether to use contraception or not (you chose not). Now it’s her choice to keep the baby or not. And your job to help and support her all through it and then help take care of the baby (if she keeps it) because you put it in there.
PSA: Unprotected sex makes babies.
That’s what happens when you have unsafe sex. This shouldn’t come as a surprise. Get her a test and tell her to take it.
If her breasts and belly are larger, it wouldn’t be shocking if she were already in the second trimester. Depending on where you live or your girlfriend’s values, it could be too late to end the pregnancy.
Don’t have unprotected sex unless you’re ready to have a baby.
It’s really not that bad having a kid. There are plenty of couples that have kids and build fantastic lives.
You can’t un-murder your child though.
Get a test. Grow some balls. Don’t bail but also… make sure it’s yours.
I’m just thinking of youth I know that are your age and I’m going to respond to you how I would them.
Is there an adult in your life that you trust? I think it’s good you’re seeking some advice, but I think you really need an adult irl to help guide you. This is big stuff.
You’re headed in the right direction; you need to know for certain if she’s pregnant.
I don’t want to scare you, but… I do want you to realize that this is potentially life changing. If she is pregnant, what you choose to do now and how you handle it is crucial and has big potential to sit with you both for the rest of your life. I’d love for you to have someone who you feel safe with to help guide you through this time.
What country are you in? If you don’t have any adults you trust, maybe we can help suggest some resources.
If she’s not pregnant, then moving forward, let this moment remind you to use protection until you’re ready to become a dad.
Big hugs!!!
She needs to test now. If she chooses a termination procedure her options are very time sensitive. In most states she will need parental consent, and if she is in the second trimester the states that allow this are more limited. https://www.cnn.com/us/abortion-access-restrictions-bans-us-dg this page has an interactive state map showing which states allow it to which weeks if you click on the state. 1-800-772-9100 is the national abortion federation and can help with resources and referrals.