TIFU in the car with my coworker

I originally posted this on r/overheard, but I think it might be appropriate here as well.

I gave one of my coworkers a ride home from work when I overheard a phone conversation between my coworker and his bf, who called during the drive. My dashcam recorded everything my coworker was saying, so what you’re about to read is verbatim, minus my real name. For the record, I never heard what the bf said, but this is what I heard less than 30 seconds into the phone call:

Coworker: I cancelled the Uber. Kyle offered to take me home.

Bf: Blah blah blah.

Coworker: We work together.

Bf: Blah blah blah.

Coworker: Why are you being weird right now?

Bf: Blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Coworker: Okay, fine, whatever. You’re not being weird. You’re being insecure as fuck.

Bf: Blah blah blah.

Coworker: Can we please not do this on the phone while I’m in the car with someone?

Bf: BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Coworker: Wow. Okay. In other words, I should’ve spent money on an Uber driver instead of accepting a free ride from a guy at work because apparently you made up your mind that I’m working at a sausage factory where everyone is heteroflexible.

Bf: Blah blah blah.

Coworker: Baby, you know I love you, but just because you decided to literally stop being straight after meeting me, doesn’t mean Kyle is low key going gay because he’s got another guy in his car. Leave room for logic, my love.

Bf: Blah blah blah.

Coworker: Yes, thank you, to be continued. Okay, bye.

Bf: Blah.

Needless to say, it was an uncomfortable drive for everyone involved, but especially for me, the driver, who just wanted to do a good deed and go on with my life without getting caught in the middle of an argument between two angry twinks about my sexuality and the possibility of me being a side dick. What made the situation even more complicated for no reason was what happened the following day when my coworker sent me a message to inform me that his jealous bf wanted to know what I looked like so he decided to look me up on social media and discovered that we actually knew each other. Based on the information the bf shared with my coworker, we were apparently in high school together. For the record, I’ve seen my coworker’s bf before because I follow my coworker on IG, and he frequently tags his bf in his posts, but I still had no idea who the bf was or where he belonged in my high school history.

It all became clear to me when I eventually looked up the bf. It was true, we knew each other, but we were never friends. He was literally one of the biggest bullies in my school. I didn’t know who he was at first because he was now no longer as big as he was during his teen years. The amount of weight he lost since school made a massive difference to his appearance. I sent my coworker a message to confirm that I did in fact know his bf from high school, but not as friends, we were not even in the same grade, and because of how he looked then vs how he looked now, I would never have known it was him, if it wasn’t for whatever the fuck was happening. My coworker ended up calling me moments later. It was a long phone call. My coworker said his bf came clean about being a bully in high school and kind of implied that I might be attempting to get back at him for bullying me all those years ago by getting close to my coworker, aka his lover.

In the wise words of Mr Miyagi, what the fuck. My coworker said he had to talk his bf out of contacting me to try to “clear the air” between us. I made my coworker promise me that he would keep his bf out of my life because I’ve moved on. It’s not that deep. It was just a car ride. Nothing more. The end. My coworker said he was gonna take care of it, but he just wanted to keep me updated so that I’m not caught off guard if his bf did “anything weird.” I’m done driving coworkers home.

Tl:dr Offered to drive my coworker home, but then got caught in the middle of an argument on the phone between my coworker and his bf, who apparently believed I wanted to get close to his coworker to get back at him for bullying me in high school.