Im currently stuck on what to do, I’m the one financially responsible for everything while my baby’s dad just stays home.He does help me with watching our kid and helps me clean only when I ask him, but I’m also doing all of that and paying for everything(rent Wi-Fi household stuff , food, I’m the one with a car so I pay insurance, maintenance, taking our toddler out to places)I’m the one who has to schedule appointments for our baby because he supposedly never knows how. Ive always cared and financially supported our baby as I should and he was just “there”I feel like I’m about to have a burn out. I been paying all the bills on my own for almost a year now. I been telling him to get a job because I need help, I’m the one who’s going into his indeed to put In applications because he’ll only do like one or two thinking that will work. He’s there to watch our toddler while I work n helps every now n then and I think that’s the only positive thing. Idk I’m so stressed n tired of trying to ask him to financially help me. Now days one income isn’t enough I’m struggling with all our bills while he just sits back and watches
Tired of paying for everything while he just stays home
r/Advice
Comments
He’s freeloading and you’re parenting two kids instead of one. If he won’t get a job or pull his weight, you need to leave. You deserve a partner, not a grown man draining you while you hold everything together.
So break up with him.
Is this something new? I mean, you had a kid with this lump. Was he a couch tester from day-1?
Get rid of him. File for child support. He will eventually have to work if he can’t smooch off you.
Is he maybe struggling with depression? Why is he not working?
I disagree with just leaving him! Have you had a conversation about what is going on?
Have him find a job or ask him to leave. In court, he would get the worse part. On the meantime, have a board with all daily chores, he need to check once he’s done with them. Erase all the checks and do them again every day. Teach him step by step how to do appointments, have him sit next to you while you do it.
Have him work at least filling surveys or something, have him asking for benefits at least. You both have a child to raise and unless you have grandparents to help (they don’t have to) you both need to be serious and sacrifice a lot in your lives.
Drop the loser and move along if he doesn’t want to get with the program. He needs motivation for life.
Break up with him and find someone who will support you you got 2 kids by him and he not support you. That is ridiculous
He has weaponized incompetence. He doesn’t know how because he doesn’t want to or have to. He knows how to use a phone and make an appointment.
Your life with him is going to be a difficult one. Please do not have another child with him.
My ex husband wasn’t able to keep a job. He would either be fired or quit. He eventually refused to get a job until he found one that “fit his standard” but in reality he just wanted to get back onto ssdi. How did I learn about that? He told my mother but not me.
He never did house work until I nagged him to do it. I paid for EVERYTHING and when I didn’t buy him something he wanted? Repeated guilt tripping.
He refused to learn to drive, wanted to be a YouTuber (he quit right before he reached 1000 subs), wanted to have his own tcg card shop (he gave up and I took it over. I still run it as well), wanted to make a video game (he gave up because I refused to help him)
Leave that freeloader.
Tell ‘em to get a job or leave
Just tell him that if he doesn’t find a job in the next 3 months, he’s going to have to find his own place. Stick with it
How do I put this. I was in a similar position many years ago. I worked full time. He said he would stay home to look after the children.
What happened was, I worked full time, and had to drop ‘our’ children to my parents because he wouldn’t ‘babysit’ for me to go to work.
I can confirm I ended the relationship. And am happier than ever.
He will never change. He just wants an easy life with no responsibilities. You’re already doing it alone, so all you have to do is show him the door.
That maybe enough for him to pull his weight, however I wouldn’t give him the time of day. Men or women who don’t pull their weight don’t deserve the partners they have got.
I am now happily married to an amazing man, and strangely enough I’m now a stay at home wife and mother. We share most things. And neither of us take the other for granted.
Tell him that things need to change. Has he gotten counseling/meds? He’s an adult. Your relationship is not fulfilling it is a strain and he is adding to that dynamic.
Don’t let a freeloader burn you out. Tell him to leave. If he asks why tell him rent isn’t free.