So, I dated my ex-husband for 4 years and we were married for only 5 months. The marriage ended in the most abrupt and painful way: he ghosted me and sent divorce papers without ever discussing anything. It was completely unexpected — he never even hinted that he wanted out.Problems started literally on day one of the marriage, mostly because of my ex-MIL. She sabotaged the wedding day in all the ways she could and than blamed me that I ruined the reception. She’s a textbook narcissist: lies constantly, twists facts, and always plays the victim. Sadly, she succeeded in turning my ex and his whole family against me.The day I went back to visit my parents (in another city), my ex said he’d pick me up on his return. Instead, the next day his family called me and ended the marriage over the phone. He also told my father the same. I was blocked everywhere, and a few days later, the divorce papers came in the mail. Just like that.
I never reached out again. I didn’t scream, beg, or fight. I just went silent. It’s been five months, and I’m still processing everything. I loved this man with all my heart, and he betrayed me in the most humiliating way. What hurts more is that he ghosted me once before we were engaged, but came back begging to marry me and I gave him another chance.
Now he’s posting pictures and showing off like he’s moved on. I’ve been holding in all my pain and rage. Lately, I’ve been wondering: should I send him one final email? Not to get him back, but to tell him exactly how he destroyed my life, how his family slandered me, and remind him that God sees everything.I don’t want to break my dignity, but I also feel like he walked away too easily while I’ve been left in pieces. Would it help bring me closure? Or should I keep the silence and let karma handle it?
Title: My ex-husband ghosted and divorced me without a word. Should I send him one final email after months of silence?
r/Advice
Comments
I’m 65 and can testify that Karma is a very real and a VERY wonderful thing… but it requires patience.
Preserve your dignity. Keep him guessing about how you are feeling.
I suspect that he is dying to know. Deprive him of that knowledge.
Meantime block him on social media and move on with your life.
In my opinion he did you a favor by terminating the marriage; he is still tied to his mommy’s apron strings and will likely never be able to make his own decisions.
The best revenge is a life well lived.
You don’t need that closure, you already know the “why” and tbh if he was a man it wouldn’t have happened anyway, so sounds like he did you a favor.
He’s just an overgrown man-child attached to his mom’s boob.
Do yourself a favor and move on to someone better and worth your love. This dude… psht.. he can spend his life wondering what life is like outside of underneath his mommy’s skirt. 🫂
Keep silent. Go to counseling and let your therapist hear what you want to say. Block him and move on.
Silence and a new good life are the best revenge.🌹
Wow, this is very painful indeed. You reacted perfectly too op. We all know social media is a facade of reality.
I think do what gives you peace. I don’t think if you sent the email it will give you peace though. He is a coward who avoids confrontation.
I think you better move on. He is a heartless person to do what he did to you. Learning that you are still suffering may just give him the pleasure of hurting you, rather than remorse and regret.
It’s been 5 months. Just move forward and heal from your pain, and find your happiness again.
Write it, but never send it. You need to heal and do what brings you joy. Sounds like you identified that getting this message out of your system is an important step. You don’t owe him or them anymore of your energy.
Oh I bet that dude is miserable with life but clearly has no idea how to get away from his mom
The closer is the disrespect. I wouldn’t send the email but if you feel you need to then do it. But I suggest not to do it
Write a blank email. Do not send, not worth it IMO. The blank email will ease you a bit at least. Stay the better person and move on.
I bet she told him you cheated on him or something. It’s unwinnable. You never get closure on these things. People are cowards and just ghost. It doesn’t matter if you send the email or not. He’s already betrayed you twice. Ask yourself if it’s worth it.
No. Let it go.
He made his stance clear. You may never get a resolution or a final word. But that’s not as important as what’s in front of you.
Your own future!
I had my heart torn asunder by a woman I loved with all of my heart. After 28 years together (started at 15) and 25 years of marriage…. it hurt…. alot. She decided she is a he.
So now, after taking time to heal, I am back in the world. Just started dating again. Which is hard at 44.
Take all that energy and drive and do something for yourself instead. He made his choice. Now make yours.
Good luck to you! I hope you find the happiness you seek!
Write the email but don’t send it. It’ll feel good to get it out.
That’s messed up! But why!? If it were me I’d probably tear those papers up so he had to mail them again and possibly slash mommy’s tires. (I’m a hot head) Um-it said til death do us part-wanna part? 😂If he comes back begging just say no. That sucks you’re now an “ex wife” but by no fault!
Let the way you feel be the closure you need.
If you are going to send him one last email, wait until you are moving on. The best possible response is to show him how happy you are without him or his family. I am sorry this happened to you. It is messed up.