To all men out there that their age is 30+, what are some truths that you realize in that age?
To all men out there that their age is 30+, what are some truths that you realize in that age?
r/AskMen
To all men out there that their age is 30+, what are some truths that you realize in that age?
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I think I’m living the life I should’ve been living at 18-25 after I hit 30. I spent all my years before in domestic long term relationships. Last one ended on my 30th birthday and I’ve just been enjoying the single life, traveling and hooking up with everyone I meet.
Your circle of friends is going to get much smaller.
The fact that being likable and pleasant to be around has helped me far more in my career than trying to act like the smartest guy in the room who doesn’t care about anyone else’s opinion.
Time does speed up. I swear I brought my daughter home like a few months ago but she’s over 3 and is a whole person now.
That in reality, no one apart from a select few people genuinely care about you. What you can offer is much more important in this world than who you are.
Being myself rather than overcompensating has gotten me so much further in my professional and personal life.
Prioritize time with your biological family, especially your children. There’s an incredibly high chance the time with your wife is limited and she’ll move on to someone else. Women are fun, but do not lose sight that you are primarily a resource for them.
Mid forties you start thinking about death,and look forward to waking up with zero responsibilities until you pass
Just have fun. The idealized forever partner and job security and all that isn’t real. Standing on principle will often just make everyone hate you. These are different people and different times. Words that can be defined in the damn dictionary, people will use to gaslight you in real time like the definitions are malleable and not set. I can’t change who I am as I disciplined myself this way over time, but, I’m hoping other men will figure it out.
No one cares and that’s okay
Keep you power
No matter what you decide to do, somebody is going to have a problem with it. Literally no matter what.
So why not do what you want to do? At least you’ll be happy in the end!
Other people’s opinions of you literally don’t matter at all if you don’t want them to, so don’t listen.
Be whoever you want to be and find people who fuck with it.
You can manipulate yourself into being happy, and it’s not a bad thing.
Everything DOES hurt. Also, when something DOES hurt, do NOT shrug it off. It’s no longer a “growing” pain. It’s now an “aging” pain and NEVER hesitate to make a doctor appointment for anything that feels off. As a former cancer patient, I’ve seen and am currently still seeing too many people around me getting diagnosed and/or passing from cancer and the like because they refused to see a doctor when things first began feeling off. If you have insurance, make the best use of it.
40, I can’t eat whatever i want whenever i want anymore, for various reasons.
Old man strength/stamina is real and I’m enjoying the hell out of it
The one that got away. She was probably the only person for you. You fucked up. You’ll never be happy now/s
This is a make believe world, it’s filled with illusion and constantly seeks to exploit you. You’re both the slave and the slave driver, you’re financing your own enslavement and life will only get worse with time.
Any excuse is slave morality and collective Stockholm syndrome.
i stopped beign a “potential” now im just a “failure”
When you’re young people will take a chance on you if you’re a little squared away and have a bit of potential. Those kinds of opportunities fade as you age.
Ignore what they say, watch what they do.
In relationships, women actually trust you more and respect you more when you say “no” to them sometimes and don’t jump at their every whim.
Being in a relationship is a liability on finances
You really can’t eat whatever you want anymore. You will get fat if you don’t eat healthy and/or exercise regularly.
Like Adam Sandler said ”Yeah, when I was your age, I could eat anything I wanted. Wouldn’t gain an ounce. Now, I have a chocolate shake, my ass jiggles for, like, a week!!”
Life really is too short to hold on to grudges. Especially toward people you like.
A whole bunch of people are really mean and they LIKE being mean. It is hard not to turn into an asshole yourself and good people are rare. But they DO exist and what you learned as a child is true: Being good, understanding and kind is harder than the opposite. The dark side really is quicker and more seductive and many do fall for it and become hard and uncaring, but they still contain multitudes. If you are not careful you will harden yourself and use the strength that you do have not to protect, but to hurt.
Also: Problems are always more complex than they seem and when ANYONE wants to put people into just 2 Groups (us/them, pretty/ugly, good/evil etc.) they are wrong. There is always more than just 2 Options and people are way more complex than that person wants to admit, because it wouldn’t fit into the neat narrative they are trying to construct.
I’ve said it before on this sub reddit, and I’ll say it again…
No one cares about you. Only what you provide and what they get from that.
That vagina isn’t worth it. Focus on yourself and don’t chase vagina. It comes and goes
i wasnt like a real heavy drinker but alcohol got boring af when i hit 30. does nothing for me.
That love is real and deep and intrinsic to our emotional wellbeing, but that no person is worth being an emotional slave to. That if you’re putting in the work and the person you choose is not, they are not for you and it’s okay to let that go. You can love, but you don’t have to share it automatically.
Life is a game of musical chairs, and eventually the music stops! Every opportunity not taken gets nailed to your wall of regret!
Being bald is and feels awesome.
A good bed matters. Don’t skimp out on a good bed. Makes all the difference getting out of bed every morning.
I’m more experienced and smarter than my younger self.
No one is coming to save you… and stop blaming the past for your future. It’s an excuse and you owe it to yourself to take charge of your own life.
Life is a series of paths not taken. By the time you’re 30, probably half of those paths are already gone. And more go year by year.
That’s not to scare anyone. It’s just a cold hard truth that “the time is gone”. There’s a lot of things you get one chance and one opportunity, and you need to have made that choice early on.
But there does come a peace with knowing that what you have is enough. Everything you’ve done is enough. You didn’t need to win every race to live a happy life and make the lives of those around you decent
Everything they say about diet and exercise become real in a hurry and the struggle to be fit is twice as difficult. Relationships, whether familial, friendship or romantic bear more fruit now. If you haven’t invested in them, the absence shows, if you have the harvest tastes much sweeter
College is a lie. You got into debt but find a good job anyway.
Good bed
Happy home (regular fighting in relationships is a red flag).
Don’t get into debt other than your mortgage.
Treat yourself and don’t over save money.
Take great care of your parents as they age.
Accept that anything you ever fight against will fight against you in return, nobody else.
Friends will be jealous of you instead of being your friend like they use to.
Find a job that helps others.
Remember so many people have a much harder life than you, unimaginable in some cases.
Forgive yourself.
Things are gonna start hurting and you shouldn’t wait too long to see a doctor about them because its not going to get better overnight like when you were 20.
Youre going to need more rest time and recovery time after strenuous activity
Youre going to stop liking loud noises
You will value spending time at home with your family more.
Something I remember my Spanish teacher telling me decades ago was to not sleep angry. It’s probably the smartest advice I ever got. It’s true. It’s so damn true.
Take care of your teeth.
Don’t go cheap when buying your first bed. Your back will thank you later.
No major insights in 30s, that decade is your sweet spot between life experience/knowledge and physical ability. You won’t get a better alignment of those in your lifetime.
40s were a major wakes-up call for how physically frail we all become with time.
When you’re young, you long for freedom, and when you get older, you long for the same thing. When you’re a kid, you’re beholden to your parents and school and a lack of money that keeps you from being able to do whatever you want.
When you get older, you’re beholden to your wife, your kids (if you get married and have kids), your job, and your bills. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You can love your wife, your kids, and even your job, but still long for the freedom to just go for a walk or wander around the store for a couple hours by yourself.
But there’s a period in between where you get to choose those things. The thing is, you don’t necessarily know the long-term ramifications of those choices until much later. So you have to try to make the best decisions and have a vision for where you want to go.
Getting answers on social media isn’t life experience.
Who you marry is the most important decision in your life. Being young, dumb, and in love isn’t good enough.
You’ll end up having a lot more fun in life the more you participate in the world around you.