Older women: What would you tell someone who is 31 about those topics? Did you get married? Have you stayed single? Do you regret marriage? Have you regretted having children or even not having children? Please share your experiences.
Older women: What would you tell someone who is 31 about those topics? Did you get married? Have you stayed single? Do you regret marriage? Have you regretted having children or even not having children? Please share your experiences.
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Stay independent.
Wait til you’re old and marry a woman. Much happier that way
Do not change your last name. It is a bureaucratic pain in the arse that lasts years. Keep bank accounts separate .
Follow your heart. Meet people organically, not by matching on an app. And accept each other as you are.
As someone who has been married for 41 years both of you must be committed to being married. Marriage is hard so keeping your own sense of humor and life is most important. There’s no easy way to be and stay married unless both of you really want it.
I’m 48. I dont recommend marriage to anyone even my own kids. I think that piece of paper creates too many expectations to stay together till death so you part even when you make each other miserable. Life is short. If it’s not working, move on. And to be honest, I think for most married people – it’s not working.
Never be dependant on another person, financially or otherwise.
Why are you asking this in BOTH subs? Geez
One: earn your own money. If you choose to be a SAHM, make sure you open your own retirement accounts and fund them fully.
Also, the two things that make men happy are sex and a good dinner.
I was with an abusive man for 17 years because I had low self esteem and thought I couldn’t do any better. Work on yourself first before entering into a romantic relationship. If you’re not healthy, the relationship won’t be healthy. Don’t settle because you’re afraid to be alone. It’s actually quite lovely being alone and I’ve come to prefer it. Now I will no longer disturb my peace for anyone.
I married in my thirties.
It is a second marriage. It followed a very short one that was such a big disaster it took a restraining order (think “Sleeping With The Enemy”). So first suggestion is know thyself and them extremely well. This should amount to having seen and survived each other’s worst!
He had kids and I had already decided before the second marriage not to. Zero regrets but I think this stems from my first suggestion.
He spent less time being single between marriages than I did and lived to reget that. It caused some challenges in our marriage for a while.
And lastly, a truly successful marriage that endures is partly based on having a long view, ergo the means to see more than what’s just front and center. We practice a kind of wabi sabi in our relationship and maintain emotional intimacy. This means we can and do tell each other everything. We are best friends as well as lovers, which keeps the romance going. We also have good boundary management, example: he dealt with his relatives and I dealt with mine.
We are in our 70’s and in the 34th year of marriage where both of us feel utterly secure we will endure until death do us part. It is a wonderful feeling to be that secure. That utterly part took some work however — the kind of work where one effectively meets every challenge encountered.
I hope this answered some of your questions.
Having a partner with the same cleanliness expectations as you is more important in a healthy relationship than other level of compatibility. “She divorced me because I left dishes in the sink” is way more common than you think.
Don’t think you can change him. What you see is what you get.
As someone who got married at 40; kept her name, job and bank account; and never had kids, I would simply say follow your heart and do what works for you.
I’ve been married for almost 12 years and will be for as long as we both live, but I am still my own person and always will be that as well. I knew who I was before I got married, and that has kept me whole.
Yes, I married & had children. No regrets! Maturity, honesty & fairness are most important. Discuss major issues and establish marital rules & boundaries before marriage & commit 💯 percent to them – changes can dissolve a marriage. A husband is a man, a human being with feelings who can respectfully be reasoned with. Know when to stop futile attempts to get him to change to satisfy you, and change your behavior for the better.
If you marry a wealthy man, stay married for at least 10 years before ever divorcing him. You will be able to claim spousal benefits for social security if he dies before you. Oh, and you can’t remarry. Idk, every extra $ helps with SS.
People tell you who they are. Pay attention.
If you have a weird feeling about someone in your gut be cautious as a relationship starts. Don’t rationalize their behavior.
If he drinks too much alcohol now, it will only get worse and it won’t be nearly as tolerable as you think it will be.
They can def learn new behaviors, but no one ever changes
I’m a lesbian. Things have worked out wonderfully for my wife and I
If you have to ask if he’s into you, he’s not.
Focus on being happy in yourself and in your own company so that a relationship and kids are the icing on the cake. If you think that family is the cake, then life might feel empty.
Always stay open to opportunities – I’ve known people marry in their 40s/50s and 60s after being single for decades.