Today is my 20th birthday and no one but my mom remembered

r/

This is like a mix of a confession and just me being sad but today I turned 20 but no one except my mom remembered (obviously love my mom and I’m so grateful for her) and she is an accountant so she was too busy to call me or anything really except a text.

I was supposed to have a dinner party last night that my roomate organized but bc of extenuating circumstances it was canceled and ig ppl where to busy to remember today is the actual day. I tried to make myself feel better by going out and spending a little money on trying a new sandwich place that’s been on my mind but tbh it just make me sadder because everyone was with friends and I was alone.

I know it’s not that big a deal but I normally don’t like birthdays because they make me miss my dad who passed and this one was especially bad because he only knew me as a teenager. I also tried to call my friends from back home but they both forgot and when I kinda of hinted at it to one and she remembered it just got really awkward and I felt bad.

Anyway that’s all, it just kinda of sucks but the day is almost over so what can you do, yk?

Edit: Ik that I’m 20 and I’m older so birthdays are not a big deal, that’s why I’m complaining on a Reddit instead of irl, I am very aware that I’m not the center of the world and ppl have other stuff going on.

Comments

  1. MaxCollins48 Avatar

    Happened to me too, no one remembered, felt invisible. Tried to cheer myself up, didn’t help. Your mom remembered, that counts. Happy birthday.

  2. nottheonlysofia Avatar

    happy birthday!! hope tomorrow is a better day and welcome to your 20s 🙂 hope u enjoy it

  3. Wise_Focus_309 Avatar

    Happy birthday. I’m sorry that no one remembered, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t care.

    Unfortunately, people do get busy and don’t take the time to focus on the people in their lives.

    I hope you get a chance to celebrate your birthday with your friends soon.

  4. wishiwasnthere1 Avatar

    Happy birthday.

    Unfortunately I’ve noticed a lot of people don’t remember birthdays anymore. I have all of my friends (all 3) written down on a countdown app on my phone because I want to make sure to tell them and let them know I love them. But I’ve also got my family in there because, while I can remember my siblings easily, I cannot remember their children’s or my cousins.

  5. Ok_Literature990 Avatar

    From an internet stranger.. Happy Big 20th Birthday!

  6. Annual_Ad6999 Avatar

    Sounds about right.

  7. Dear-Relationship666 Avatar

    Happy birthday friend…. but let me tell u something. For most of us after our 21st, 30th and 40th milestone birthdays? Everything after that is just a March to our death 😅…. a reminder of yea… i hope you got life insurance, some savings, a investment account ( 401k stock etc)…

  8. ShrekiraShrekira Avatar

    I’m so sorry you felt this way. I can absolutely understand the hurt. This is exactly why I get the birthday blues… one year I called my mom because she hadn’t and I was like what day is today and she was like “Thursday, what…?” and then I sobbed. My birthday also happens to be on a dumb holiday so I’m like how do you forget.?!?! I started treating myself to little things here and there on my birthday week so I can make myself happy.

    Your feelings are valid af. Your 20s will be for living it up and learning lessons. Enjoy your time ♥️ and most of all HAPPY BIRTHDAAYYY!!! 🎉🎈

  9. dollyparton4eva Avatar

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎊🎈🎂🎉🎁

    unfortunately birthdays can become less of a big deal as we get older. I think the solution is to throw your own party. I’ve planned all my own birthday parties since I was 22. Life gets in the way, but Inviting people to a party is a great way to get it on their radar even if they don’t attend.

  10. Nellyrawvibes Avatar

    Happy birthday 🎈

  11. tayvocado Avatar

    make your birthday your special day every year and forget everyone else. sign up for birthday rewards on apps and take yourself out for all the free treats, a spa day, shopping day, concert night, solo weekend trip out of town to somewhere you always wanted to go. just do bad all by yourself honey, and show up and show out for yourself. you’ll make friends along the way who won’t forget your birthday 🖤

  12. Content-Elk-2994 Avatar

    Peppridge Farm Remembers.

  13. my_metrocard Avatar

    Happy Birthday!

  14. Far_Ruin_2095 Avatar

    girl me and you have the same birthday!!

  15. BMoney8600 Avatar

    Happy birthday. I hope the rest of the day gets better for you.

  16. stuffandthaangs_ Avatar

    Happy birthday Mate !

  17. NoClueFFS Avatar

    Happy Birthday, OP. 20th birthdays are so special. Dm me your paypal, I want you to get yourself a cake 🥰

  18. Either_Dream_9748 Avatar

    Happy happy birthday!!!

  19. itsAmetaphor_ Avatar

    Happy birthday!!!

  20. Schrodingersdog12 Avatar

    Happy birthday mate!

  21. Striking-Ad1886 Avatar

    Happy birthday! Enjoy the rest of the day.

  22. issi_tohbi Avatar

    My mother regularly forgets my birthday, like nearly every year since I’ve been an adult. Here’s the kicker- not only am I an only child, but it’s the day after her fucking birthday 😩

  23. Niniof10 Avatar

    Happy Birthday! 🎈🎈🎈🎂

  24. calibri_cambria Avatar

    Happy birthday!!! Celebrate yourself, eat some good food, relax and treat yourself!

  25. tyetyemn Avatar

    I think it was when I turned 20 that I realized no one gives a shit except me and my mom. But that is true for everyone. I decided that’s okay and threw myself a party. Bought pizzas and beer and invited a bunch of friends.

  26. Winter_Suspect_510 Avatar

    More than happy with to take you out !

  27. FrogCurry Avatar

    I’m gonna tell a related personal story because I think it might help.

    I had a 21st birthday, multiple people told me they were coming. I triple checked with all of them before spending money on food, drinks, and desserts. Thats a lot of money for a student.

    My best friend was there, we were having at her very nice house. My then partner showed. And I waited. and waited. And waited.

    I tried to hide I was crying and starting drinking.

    That shit hurts, it doesn’t matter that you’re an adult.

    But your twenties – you are a baby adult. You have no money, no time, and often no emotional capacity outside of family, partner, and your absolutely closest people. Whether you’re working or in school, life is really chaotic 

    And over time, you let go of the friendships that aren’t actual good friendships and you nurture the ones with good people. Also, hopefully, maybe, be less busy with a little more money.

    I just had my 30th birthday. Decided to plan a 4 day trip as a joint thing with my best friend (same one from a decade ago haha) and expected maybe 1 or 2 to go. All 6 people I asked immediately confirmed. They dedicated PTO and money to go have a 4 day long joint birthday trip.

    All of that to say: this is not a reflection on you or how good you are as a friend. And it especially has nothing to do with being enough or worthy. I say that because those are the thoughts I struggled with back then.

    A decade is both so, so long and so, so fast. I’m so sorry this birthday was disappointing. But it’s an opportunity for the next one to be better — even if it’s just taking off the whole day and treating yourself. Lunch, an indulgent gift, etc.

    Sending my love and good vibes to you, and, happy belated birthday 🙂

  28. Ok_Cow_2095 Avatar

    Happy birthday ✨

  29. Wiseguy11019 Avatar

    This is ur sign to get bitches.

  30. Creepy-Brick- Avatar

    Most people go big for the 21st birthday. 20th birthdays not so much.

    Be thankful your mum remembered.
    Happy Birthday and look forward to 21st.

  31. iron_red Avatar

    Happy birthday! I’m sorry that your friends forgot to even text. Life happens and sometimes I will be off by a day or two to text my own friends. I don’t agree with the comments that your birthday isn’t or shouldn’t be a big deal as an adult other than milestones. Plenty of people I know in their 20s have parties and sometimes elaborate events.

    I do think it would be a good idea for you to throw your own party and invite people going forward! I also think it would be pretty easy for you (or roommate if you ask) to simply re-schedule the dinner party that would have been today.

  32. drowsy-cow03 Avatar

    20 is a big milestone! You’re no longer a teenager!

  33. Sure-Yoghurt1337 Avatar

    Happy Birthday!!! 🎉🎈🎂 Plan something for your 21st, that’s a bigger milestone it seems…

  34. TheDifferentDrummer Avatar

    Hey friend. I know that feeling. Firstly Happy Birthday to you. I hope that next year is better. I don’t know your friends, but sometimes the same happens to me so I can relate. I can only say that Ive noticed most people lately dont remember dates very well and count on facebook to remind them of birthdays. Its not an excuse, but a possible reason. I hope the rest of your week is well.

  35. airstv Avatar

    Happy birthday bro

  36. CarlJustCarl Avatar

    First rule of being a man – always remember nobody cares about your problems. The sooner you realize that, the better.

  37. MoneySlow6362 Avatar

    Don’t sweat it – I share my birthday with The Branch Davidian ordeal as well as the Oklahoma City Bombing – after those two events, I was just kind of happy to quietly celebrate my name day! And 19 & 20 are sandwiched in between 18 & 21 so: “There’s always next year (21st) birthday to light the world on fire!”

  38. magkozak Avatar

    Happy birthday beautiful!

  39. ZookeepergameTiny992 Avatar

    Happy 20th Birthday! I hope you do something to celebrate!! You deserve to have a great Birthday!! Truly happy birthday

  40. demonicstranger Avatar

    I’m sorry dude, and because nobody really told you this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎉🎁!! You’re finally out of your teenage years!!

  41. CoolDude1981 Avatar

    Happy birthday.

    Secondly, the good news is that you’re 20. You got a long ways to go. Start networking. If you’re not a social person, network on the internet, meet new people, create a larger circle. You can’t surround yourself with people who don’t celebrate you. You also can’t stay away from people. I’m very antisocial and I’ve learned over the years that one hand washes the other. Start attending a church if you’re inclined. Go places where you’ll be in a group setting with like minded people.

  42. Awkward_Victory_3758 Avatar

    Happy birthday and today is my 40th birthday

  43. PrestigiousWeakness2 Avatar

    Happy birthday!

    Get used to being an adult!

  44. Routine_Anything3726 Avatar

    Happy Birthday! Sorry you were lonely today, I’ve been there and know how shitty it can feel. This year I went on a solo trip to Ireland for my B-day, loved every second. I hope your 20s will be amazing!

  45. Dull-Adhesiveness373 Avatar

    Didn’t celebrate my birthday for years and would schedule myself to work bc of this. I’m 37. Blow up balloons and celebrate yourself from now on. Seriously, throw your own party and decorations up and just be super open, friendly, inviting, and welcoming around your birthday. I’m like Santa Claus now. I celebrate my birthday and put it all together and treat people instead of being treated but it works. It feels better

  46. Ok_Antelope_6179 Avatar

    Happy birthday 🥳

  47. anakmoon Avatar

    We are adults now and we get to organize, plan and make sure we get the day want!

    Don’t wait for someone to do it for you. Make it happen. Order yourself flowers to be delivered to work. Make reservations at the restaurant YOU want to go to and text a couple friends the date and time, tell them to dress nice. Buy yourself something pretty.

    Pick something and do it cause you want it to happen.

  48. Joelnaimee Avatar

    Sorry, i was busy. Happy birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉

  49. Alternative_Risk7218 Avatar

    Happy birthday, everyone go to hell

  50. Appropriate-Battle32 Avatar

    Happy birthday!

    Don’t let it get mine lands on Mother’s Day a lot so I don’t get one. Celebrate it the way you want and remember to lord it over them from today forward.

  51. Odd_One3345 Avatar

    Happy birthday 🎂

  52. Nervous-Pace9522 Avatar

    Happy Birthday!🎂
    Not to be mean but I would never be too busy to spend the day with any of my kids on their birthday. Being a parent is such an honor and privilege, I live and breathe for my kids no matter how old they are. Friends should also show up for you on your special day if only via text, phone call.
    Make the best of your special day in whatever way that makes you happy.

  53. Ordinary-Garbage-735 Avatar
  54. RunByFruiting69 Avatar

    At least your mom was there to remember. Mine passed away on my 2nd birthday.

  55. BiPentupTweakerBalls Avatar

    Cherish your Mom — I’d fucking give anything and everything to be able to be able to see mine again. Hard to truly grasp “You don’t know what you have until they’re gone” until you’ve experienced it firsthand.

  56. Significant_Wolf3326 Avatar

    I’m so sorry. Happy birthday from me though 🙂

  57. piercedclits Avatar

    happy birthdayyyyy 💛💛

  58. redditlurker1205 Avatar

    Happy 20th Birthday!!

  59. Introvertlex Avatar

    I want to start by saying happy birthday to you and your feelings are valid. I have a upcoming birthday and things will pretty much be similar with the old family really wishing you hbd.

    Anyway, take your 20 somethings genuinely getting to know know you are as a person and always prioritize stability in all aspects in life.

    Stay optimistic 🙂

  60. Naive_Ad9845 Avatar

    Happy Birthday for what it’s worth 🙂

  61. sawerjenkins1 Avatar

    Happy birthday stranger from the internet. Wish you nothing but the best!

  62. CoralFishCarat Avatar

    Happy HAPPY birthday!! ✨🎉🎂🥳🎉🎊🎁✨

    I hear you haven’t had the best day but – you always deserve to be celebrated on your birthday!! (And it doesn’t matter how old you are to be clear!! Even tho we may be happier with less as we age, the acknowledgment of a birthday is an emotional and relational thing! Not just a party or gift thing! So please don’t feel bad!) 

    And you do deserve to have friends who make the effort to celebrate your birthday!! I’m sorry it didn’t happen today. And I’m sorry they haven’t made a remediary effort. But sometimes – we have to be the change we want to see in the world. Can you invite your friends or roommates out for drinks, or grab a bday cake to share at home sometime this week?

    And I’m so so sorry about your dad. It might make you feel better about him, and your family, if you try giving your mom a call? She may be busy – but I’m sure she’d have a minute for a little birthday chat! Especially if you can be honest with her about how you feel.

    And next year – you have some info as to what changes you’d like to make when you hit the big 21 🙂 for now welcome to your twenties!!!

    🎊🥳✨🎁🎂🎉✨

  63. kolbog73 Avatar

    Happy Birthday !!

  64. fcewen00 Avatar

    Happy birthday from NY!

  65. clinz Avatar

    Happy birthday!!!! Sending sm
    Love

  66. sheisastandup Avatar

    You’re not less of a person because of this. So many people start campaigning for their birthday a month in advance. I’m not that type of person and I’m disappointed most years. It’s them not you

  67. blackwillow-99 Avatar

    HAPPPY BIRTHDAY AND YOUR BIRTH IS ABSOLUTELY A BIG DEAL.

  68. NerdoKing88 Avatar

    Happy birthday dear internet stranger

    Same time next year

  69. ShelleyLO2023 Avatar

    Happy birthday! Please know there’s a lot of people out here that are wishing you well!

  70. Tinychair445 Avatar

    My dad recently turned 70. We did a dinner and cake for him. And a silly hat. His mom didn’t call and he was sad about that.

    Something that wrecks me about getting older is that any death is one less person in the world who gives a crap about you. On the other hand, I’ve made and kept friends for decades. I’ve had children. I’m in the “be the party you want in your life” mode. So I plan my own birthday. I buy my own gifts. I moved from painfully shy child to confidently owning my joy. I’ve learned from things that hurt others or empower others

  71. Planoniceguy Avatar

    None of us forgot, you just posted before we could wish you a happy birthday. I know it sucks that none of your family remembered but don’t let their ignorance ruin your special day. I hope today was a happy and joyful day for you because I know you deserve it.

  72. Gloomy_Ad_7113 Avatar

    On my 30th I asked a bunch of my friends to meet me out to have a drink and nobody showed up. It was just me in a bar. That was a long time ago but I remember how disappointed I was and how it made me feel. I’m sorry that happened to you. Birthdays are special. It’s the only time we get acknowledged just for being born. But don’t take it personally. I’m sure any one of those people who disappointed you would tell you how much you mean to them. Sometimes it just happens and Happy Birthday! You’re going to have a great year!

  73. Regular-Chocolate657 Avatar

    Happy birthday OP🎉🎊🎁🎂 stay blessed and happy always 🙌🙌

  74. Chaos1957 Avatar

    People just don’t keep track of birthdays anymore. Really, don’t personalize it or you’ll always be disappointed. Do something for yourself! You have your whole life ahead of you and I guarantee it won’t always be like this.

  75. Ambitious-Ratio-2690 Avatar

    Happy Birthday to you! I hope you always remember to do something nice for yourself on this special day ❤️

  76. ProfessionalBerry155 Avatar

    Happy Birthday! I hope your day turned around since posting.

    ***For my friends and some family, I add their birthday to their contact, which adds it to my calendar, and then get notified on the day!

  77. ThickInevitable8450 Avatar

    Happy birthday 🎉🎂🎊

  78. Lifereaper7 Avatar

    Happy Birthday!!

  79. CodyWanKenobi92 Avatar

    Happy birthday dude. Some of my closest friends forget my birthday almost every year. Sucks, but that’s life. I hope you’re able to reschedule your dinner party so you can be celebrated. Your friends care about you. 👊🏼

  80. Ancient-Builder3646 Avatar

    Congratulations!!!!!

  81. Habno1 Avatar

    Happy Birthday !! Hope next year’s one will treat you better 🥰

  82. Ok_Holiday413 Avatar

     It’s okay, it’s all you that matters. Happy birthday!

  83. mhmyessirr Avatar

    Happy birthday 🎂

  84. SweetSweetDingle Avatar

    🎶 it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!! 🎶 I’m a LEO and man, do I get offended when people forget my birthday! (32F) and I react the same- I would never say it out loud but it really hurts my feelings. This has happened to me a few times and yes it is so hard and slowly the burn gets less but focus on 1. Leaning into celebrating you! It’s okay to say to the Starbucks barista – ITS MY BIRTHDAY! Or go shopping and when checking out say “I’m buying this as a birthday gift to myself today!” Lol and friends/ family make up for it by going OMG IM SO SORRY! Happy belated!!

    This is a side note but I realized as I got older the more I poured into others the more I received back, and yes that’s not super altruistic but the reality is your a human who needs to be loved BACK and loving yourself 1 and giving love 2 are ways to receive love in a mutually healthy relationship and friendship. Essentially treat others the way you would like to be treated and slowly slowly over years you will see those dividends come back!! You’re so young and this lesson of finding time to appreciate and celebrate yourself without others is a great lesson earlier in life!! Celebrate this time of freedom and growth and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 20s are hard EVERYONE is selfish. 30/ are better, 20s are huge growth years!!! So buckle up baby! You’re growing in wisdom!!

  85. labontefan69 Avatar

    All it takes is for people to put a reminder on their phones! I’m sorry that this happened to you. It’s your special day and people should be better about remembering. Happy Birthday, sweetheart 😊

  86. No_Cap_7709 Avatar

    I’m sorry but you excusing your mom for not having a minute to personally call her child on their birthday isn’t cool

    Happy Birthday from this stranger

    Also if you had Facebook and list your birthday in your bio then most people would sent you birthday greetings .
    Sounds lame but I get more well wishes from people on social media than my family . I’m grateful for those

  87. AnarLeftist9212 Avatar

    So already happy birthday even if late. And as a song by an artist I really like says “(I want you to find a good guy…or a golden girl) Nah actually I’m stupid: find yourself first. May you never be afraid to take a date with yourself To laugh at your own jokes and buy your own drinks Alone it’s not a fault, not a scourge”

    The artist is French, her name is George Ka, she does slam and the song is called “Mononoke” if ever.

    Translation: spoil yourself like never before, don’t expect anything from anyone, spoil yourself, be your own date, as the song I cited above says.

  88. Tricky_Replacement12 Avatar

    Honestly, my parents have literally never remembered my birthday. It has been overshadowed by something or someone else my entire life.

    It happens right before a major holiday and as a kid it was always “we’ll celebrate when everyone is together…” but it never happened because everyone was busy with the holiday.

    One time at summer day camp, on my ACTUAL birthday, my mom asked if any one had a birthday coming up. I was literally right in front of her and raised my hand and she was genuinely surprised. I got upset that she had forgotten… again… and I was accused of being spoiled. I was probably 9 or so.

    What I decided as a little kid was to stop caring about it. I don’t care about my birthday or anyone else’s except my kids. Not caring about my actual birthday was one of the most freeing things as a teenager and young adult. No one feel obligated to do anything for me and I know that the things people do for me throughout the year are because they want to and genuinely care. Not because of some arbitrary date.

  89. mrking_vii Avatar

    Hey today’s my 20th too!! Happy birthday!!

  90. These_Bullfrog_7860 Avatar

    I think I’m late but happy birthday anyways 

  91. Ok-Dust381 Avatar

    Well happy birthday