It’s my birthday, and I am completely alone. I want to do something nice for myself but I don’t know what.
I would usually bake myself a delicious cake for my birthdays but I don’t have an oven and I don’t have money to buy anything fancy.
It’s a pretty shit day so far, BF and I got into a fight this morning, so I finished my night on the couch. I am so sad i’ve been sleeping all day since now (it’s almost 3PM). My boyfriend is now at work and not coming back until late at night.
I want to cry so bad, if I had known the day would be like that I would have spent my last pennies to visit my dad, he would’ve been happy to spend time with me.
I don’t know what to do, I feel like I am the one ruining the day because I should be happier, but I am just really sad and lonely that no one is here to celebrate with me
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What is something uniquely you? Most grocery stores have single cake pieces and you can still ask to get them a little decorated! Is there anyone you can call or video call? I would make a beautiful dinner plan (park and chat with your dad while having a picnic, cheapy dinner and a treat to yourself at a restaurant that does a free birthday dessert!) It’s ok to recognize that it’s a crummy birthday, so try to celebrate it as you can. Next year? Make a plan for you, by you, with you. Don’t let one person ruin your day especially if it’s dear to you. I’m sorry you had to experience this, but find that piece of joy, memorialize it (take a photo at least to remember) and then? Next year? Make it better.
So my story (not sure if it helps or not) I just turned 46 and I just last year had a friend make a birthday party for me in the first time in decades. It was so very sweet. But when I was in my 20’s and was going through a divorce and moving away from my family, and dating someone with a sleep disorder, I found myself alone. And I hated it. And that year I had to figure out what was important to me. So for almost 20 years now, what’s important to me is just making sure I have something I love for me planned on my birthday, regardless of where I am or who I am with.
I hope you can get in touch with your dad or someone else you love and at least talk, and it’s ok to cry and it’s ok to feel sad. It hurts and it sucks. (hugs)