Hello! Just wanted to share my success story with JNMIL. I don’t have a lot of background info on Reddit, just know she is horrible. I even had a successful conversation with DH recently about her and he is finally seeing the light!
Anyway, LO is 5 months old and our newborn rules included no kissing the baby. When LO was 2 months old, JNMIL visited and had asked if she could “just give him a kiss on the cheek” to which I immediately said NO. DH was holding LO at the time and he was silent. JNMIL was looking at him to answer and I again said NO. JNMIL left and I could tell she was mad that we didn’t let her kiss LO.
A few weeks ago, JNMIL visited and when she was leaving, DH was holding LO so she asked if she could give him one kiss. DH said “yeah that’s fine” and I was okay with ONE kiss thinking she would go on the top of the head, forehead, etc. Well I was wrong. I swear I saw it in slow motion happening but she was about to open mouth kiss LO on the lips. I said “NOT ON THE MOUTH” to which JNMIL then kissed LO ALL over BOTH cheeks MULTIPLE times. (DH also had said “yeah not on the mouth, we don’t even do that” after I yelled that across the room.) I was feeling the rage inside my body build up. After JNMIL left, DH and I had a conversation that we were still extremely uncomfortable having anyone kiss LO and DH agreed it was weird, he didn’t know why she did that, and there is no benefit to LO, it’s even more of a risk to his health.
So JNMIL comes over yesterday and LO had a rough nap day. It was evening time so his last nap we weren’t sure if he was going down for nighttime sleep. It ended up being a very short nap while JNMIL was visiting so I went and got LO and brought him down. I was holding him on my hip and DH told JNMIL to wash her hands if she wanted to hold him. She got up and walked past me while I had LO on my hip and went in for a kiss to which I very quickly stepped back and said “No, we’re not doing any kissing”. JNMIL was APPALLED. Started RANTING saying “Well I got to kiss him last time. I didn’t get the memo we stopped doing kissing. I was at my sister’s house yesterday and I got to kiss HER grandkids.” I replied to her “I know you got to kiss him last time but DH and I talked about it and WE decided on this. There was no memo, I just let you know now. And that’s great you got to kiss her grandkids, good for you.” (Also DH did also back me up on all of this while JNMIL was there).
I was so proud of myself for sticking up for our boundaries and keeping LO safe. I know JNMIL is really mad about it, I even mentioned that to DH after she left and he said “Oh well”. She is now sharing everything on Facebook about kindness and “The way you make people feel is your reputation” HAHA GBYE!
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Great job!!! Good for you and your husband! I might have been inclined to include that the measure was a direct result of defying the limits given assuming I had the presense of mind at the moment or thought of it beforehand.
Congrats on mission accomplished!
On that way you make you feel comment, it would be tempting to reply to that with some reality. But I gather it is best not to.