I’ve posted on here before about difficulties with my MIL since our daughter was born on 4/5. We told her our rules before LO was born, which included no kissing the baby. She made a face and her response was, “I’ll try not to kiss her too much.” This had me spiraling before my daughter was even born because my MIL gets cold sores, primarily during the winter months. I don’t think she even knows what HSV can do to a baby. Also, I’m a pediatric related service provider and I’ve seen firsthand how critically ill babies and young children can get. I take significant precautions, like masking, sanitizing, and constantly washing my hands all seasons, not just cold and flu season, to keep them safe. So, yes my own personal experiences certainly shape my boundaries. Anyways, I made DH have a follow up convo with her after her comment and it sounded like she understood and respected our boundaries.
Fast forward to after our daughter was born, MIL kissed her on the back of the head at 2 weeks old. I saw it and didn’t say anything. We were over at her house tonight for dinner and I saw her kiss LO on the back of her head 3 times. I finally said, “Please don’t kiss her,” when my DH was in the bathroom. I kept it kind and brief and I didn’t even make her give me back my baby. She didn’t say anything back to me. It was definitely awkward. I was so sick to my stomach though, I couldn’t do anything but walk away. I went to the bathroom after my DH got out to just take a minute. When I went out to the living room my MIL apologized to me in front of my DH. I said it’s fine, just please keep our boundaries in mind and explained that I’ve see how a simple illness impacts a little baby. On the way home my husband said my MIL approached him when I was in the bathroom and said, “I’m sorry, I think I made her really upset. I kissed the baby.” My DH told her to talk to me afterwards. I can tell she felt bad.
Here’s the catch, she’s supposed to provide us with childcare 5 days a week when I go back to work in August. It’s incredibly hard to find childcare where we live. We are currently on several waitlists. I will say my job is relatively flexible as I travel to families and childcare settings to see clients and all documentation is done at home. So, there might be days when my daughter is with her for all of 3-5 hours. Overall, I want to trust her, but now I’m nervous. I’m terrified of my child contracting HSV from her. Am I overreacting/is this my PPA getting the better of me?
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Are you going to do something or wait until the baby gets a cold sore or worse.
She can’t be your childcare. Whatever it takes.