Hello everyone, I’m a trans woman. A couple weeks ago, at the bus stop, two very tall men hit on me and grabbed my shoulder. I was terrified and very uncomfortable. I need to write my thoughts somewhere because I’ve not told anybody but my boyfriend. I’ve been told by my friends I look like a woman now despite transitioning a couple months ago. Is this my new normal? I can’t go outside without thinking about it, it ruins absolutely everything. I delude myself into thinking my feelings aren’t valid because I wasn’t actually groped or sexually assaulted.
I have a nagging feeling I’ll begin to hate my feminity because of them
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Oh, your feelings are valid. Welcome to the club none of us want to be in, sister.
I have no real advice, beyond being kind to yourself. And yes, if you think about it, it ruins everything.
As a cis AFAB woman, I got the lessons and the warnings for as long as I can remember. And while it doesn’t stop the trauma, it prepares us in a twisted way to deal with that trauma.
I’m sorry this happened to you, sis. It is not the new normal, but it is something that you should be very aware of… especially as you are someone who has transitioned, because there are some brutes out there who will think you’ve tricked them and the world can be unkind. Trans people, trans women in particular, are more likely to be victimised than cis-women.
This is the reason that women sometimes smile through their discomfort, so as not to provoke potential anger, or else don’t engage with men who are strangers. But it is not the norm that strange men feel free to put hands on a woman, even casually, unless they’re under the influence of something or they’re just not good people.