I just made an account on Bumble BFF and I swear it more awkward than my first day of high school lol I don’t know how to talk to someone to convince them to be friends or inviting them out for brunch without sounding desperate and eager 🫠 I just want a bunch of girlies who enjoy brunch and arts and craft and trash tv and thrift shops and this feels like dating cause what if they find me weird or boring. Idk how to talk in these situations. If this was a guy I’d just flirt and boom we’ve a date but with making girlie friends it’s more complicated I feel.
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I just have found its always easier to make friends (regardless of gender) with people who have a common interest I already know about! So, while doing some type of hobby, bonding over a shared third spot or a favorite band, or even like chatting while our dogs run around at the dog park. IRL situations.
Women are very cautious, and rightfully so. Im also very… flaky. No one understands this, so I have few female friends. It’s hard. I’m still looking to find my tribe.
I’m in a lot of personality based groups, but our personalities (INTP) are very very introverted.
I wish I could get outside of my head. I’ve always pictured myself on girls trips, calling my friend when things are bad.. I have a best friend and two little sisters.
I met a few people on bumble bff. If you just propose going for a drink after a few days of messaging they will probably say yes and you meet up, maybe you have a good friend vibe maybe not. It’s A LOT like real life dating. I think brunch is a bit much first meet but coffee or something is perfect.
Reminder: People are on that app in the first place because they WANT to meet new people. Whats the point in being embarrassed?
I just met my first person from bumble bff yesterday. We went for a walk at a nearby beach, it was nice. I’m an introvert with anxiety, so I’m not naturally someone who is going to chat up and socialize with people “in the wild” as I’ve been putting it.
I go to a book club and chat and like multiple people, but still have a hard time inviting anyone to get together individually outside of the club. I always think they’re going to wonder why.
I actually have the exact opposite problem, haha. I’m extremely selective and guarded when it comes to men.
With women, though, I think I come across as pretty open, even though I’m naturally introverted and reserved. Most of my friendships have grown simply through repetition. For example, I take the same walk through my neighborhood with my dog, and over time that’s led to weekly walks with one of my neighbors and her pup. I also go to the same yoga classes each week, which has given me the chance to gradually connect with people there. My studio sometimes hosts events, too, which makes it easier to have longer conversations. At another yoga studio, I even joined a monthly book club.
I’m also part of a craft group that started with one girl hosting and slowly expanded as each of us brought someone new. Now we meet regularly and end up talking about everything from politics and culture to trash TV, and of course, our projects.
So my biggest advice would be build a structured routine around activities you genuinely enjoy. It might not sound very exciting, but by consistently showing up in the same spaces, you naturally start meeting others who share your interests. Plus, no matter what, you’ll be doing something you enjoy!
I feel like online works like idk 30% of the time? It’s just too randomized. As others have said – try to find events that are more likely to 1. repeat themselves so that the same person attends it again for the opportunity for repeat socialization 2. Events where opportunities to chat are available, so not just like watching something passively being quiet or working out and leaving 3. If it doesn’t exist and you think others would enjoy it – figure out how to create it yourself! Birds of a feather flock together.
I’m about to move and I’m worried about this but my plan is to join workout classes, ceramics classes, etc etc and just be up front that I’m trying to make friends, and see who seems open to that
I was thinking and talking about exactly the same today. Soooo true
Where are you located? I like all those things too!
So true. Also, it’s hard to cultivate friendships that don’t expect to have ‘aesthetic’ dates. Sometimes I just want to hang and chat. I’m already burnt out from work, and I’m going out to invigorate by forming social connections. Having a camera shoved in my face is the last thing I need.