My best friend and I have known each other for four years. Around 2 years ago I realized I may have caught feelings for her.
We used to be so close-knit, texting each other every day even on the most boring topics. But now, it feels one-sided, maybe it’s that she is busy, or maybe it’s because she has simply grown disinterested in me. Now, I am the one who usually reaches out and it’s hard to carry the conversation.
I think it’s time to let her go, but I am also so reluctant, after all, it’s been years since I have felt this way about her. But I never told her because I’m afraid she would be put off by it. I have already tried many times to convince myself that she’s just a friend, but it only works until she acts intimately with another friend. Then, the defense sort of breaks down and I feel extremely hurt. Ever since another friend popped into our lives I feel as though she isn’t as close to me. I did bring it up to her once but she said that she didn’t notice that she was acting different at all.
I am also reluctant to talk to her directly about it because who am I to interfere with her relationships? Especially when it allows her to talk how she wants and speak freely. Secondly, what if she doesn’t tell me truthfully how she feels because she thinks it’ll hurt my feelings? I feel as though asking her directly will be too confrontational and make her pull away even more.
Seeing the texts she messages to others makes me wonder what I am doing wrong and how I can do better or change my approach to texting her…
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TL;DR; : I hope someone who has been in this situation or knows someone else who has, can tell me how they overcame it to move on. Or maybe how I should tell my friend how I feel. Just give it to me straight!!! I can also answer any questions about my post, I’m not the best writer.
Comments
My guess is she may have picked up on some signals that you’re into her and has backed off because of it, or she’s into someone else romantically and is focusing more of her attention on them.
My advice would be to back off completely, leave it down to her to initiate contact, and see what happens. She might be completely comfortable to let the friendship languish, she might reach out to you, in either case you’ll have your answer.
This has beem going on for a while. You probably need a break, for your own sake. A clean break. Get romantically interested in someone else.