An ex-like man (28M) with unresolved romance that has been lasting for a year.
A year ago, we had a romance in my country and went long-distance for a few months before he suddenly sent a message saying he had been seeing someone else for the past few weeks and that things had become quite serious between them. After that, he jumped from that relationship to his current one without any void.
A year later, when I (26F) departed from my country to his country for studying (by coincidence), I sent him a light greeting after having blocked him in the past. He immediately replied and accepted my friend request on IG.
Then he changed his profile picture and initiated chatting with me in the following days. The chat stayed really light at first, even though I knew he’s in a relationship (though it’s not shown explicitly on his social).
Two weeks ago, he admitted:
“I do like you, but I’m not sure it could go further than this…”
“So, do you actually enjoy this ambiguity between us?”
“I think that if I talk to you, I would want maybe more, but then I don’t know if it would be just physical or something else.”
He later added, “And I think it’s not healthy.”
A few days later, he said:
“I think in either case it wouldn’t be healthy, right? If it’s physical, it wouldn’t be very healthy, and if it’s not, it also wouldn’t be.”
I sent messages about a meeting with a boundary, as I hoped to clear up the unresolved longing between us, especially since he lives only an hour away from where I live now.
He went silent but liked the philosophical content of Memoir Written in the Underground by Fiodor Dostoïevski:
“It’s despair. Who conceals voluptuousness. The most ardent.”
and Ainsi Parla Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche:
“You must want to burn in your own flame. How would you like to become new again if you didn’t become ash first!”
He also posted a story of a photo of a street view with a ray of sunshine and a photograph of a butterfly he took.
Oh, I got avoided just by kindly engaging with him.
TL;DR! What does that imply for his relationship with his partner? And literally, no one would give up that for something ambiguous like what he and I have, correct?
Comments
Why are you chasing an emotionally unavailable, flaky man who doesn’t know what he wants? Why do you care about the state of his other relationships? You’re wasting your time that you could be spending on things that bring you fulfillment and on people who are actually enthusiastic about you.