Unsure how to navigate this situation – Grief & Relationships

TLDR: I am going through grief and I am not sure if my bf is showing up adequately. He went to functions shortly after losing my sibling. Am I overreacting? Desiring input

I would appreciate all and any advice/perspective on my current situation. I am frustrated by these actions, but not sure if I am displacing my current emotions on my relationship (getting upset more easily) or if I can even trust how I feel currently.

Context: my sibling passed away a week ago (found out 3 days later) unexpectedly. I have been with my bf for 8 months. He did not ever meet my sibling. He is almost 22M (I’m 21F) and generally more mature than other men his age. He has been supportive through the phone, but has not tried to show up to my house (he lives an hour away), hadn’t sent anything, or just try to be here physically in general. I am from the USA for clarification; I know other countries have different culture expectations around this topic.

Yesterday my family and I planned the funeral, so naturally it was a very draining day. My bf was not there for the planning (just family only). Last night, he drank at his buddies house and today (4OJ) decided to go to a large party at his friends lakehouse. I was not invited. I am logically aware that he does not have to stop his entire life or be as sad as I am because I’m having a hard time, but it almost feels like a slap in the face. It frustrates me because if he were to be going through the same thing, I would not do this to him.

My father passed away in the same manner 3 years ago, so I have gone through grief before (I wasn’t in a relationship during that time). I really don’t have an example of how a partner should support you during grief. My bf is not familiar with grief and has not experienced a significant loss in his life. Because he is a male, I know they process things differently; not an excuse, but men and women are different and don’t think the same way.

Am I being too hard on him? Am I being overly emotional? How should he be showing up during this time?

Please give your honest feedback about this situation. Both male and female perspective is appreciated.