After the whole incident with my bf storming out of my apartment due to finding my hobby childish (collecting comics, figures, etc.) He sent me a message telling me I had to choose between him or my hobby. It’s been a few days now and I have been trying to work things out. We were able to sit down at his place and discuss compromises. Since I live with three other roommates, he understands I can’t put my figures anywhere else but my room. Thus I agreed to simply put the Magneto figure in the closet whenever he comes over, along with any other figures that may creep him out.
Today he came over early this morning and I told him everything was stored away in a shoebox and made a dumb joke along the lines of “hopefully they don’t pull a Toy Story.” I wanted to ease the tension and just get back to the usual playfulness we had around each other, but he was constantly annoyed with me. Everything I did I felt like I was under a lens getting judged. We were doing some clay crafts like you see on Tiktok and during one of the prompts, which was a duck, I gave it a superman cape. Apparently that was the breaking point cause he just laid into me about how childish I was.
I felt like I was getting absolutely belittled because he was not only saying stuff about my interest, but even doing like this mocking type baby voice at me. He was poorly impersonating me all like, “Oh I’m my name, I’m a big collector and I like to act like a little baby, I think childish things are cool.” I feel kind of dumb for it, but that did really upset me. It was enough that I wanted to cry because I felt not only humiliated but severely ashamed cause his words were getting to my head. The only reason this even ended was because my roommate overheard him and came into my room, yelling at him and telling him to get out.
It was just a mess, a literal ridiculous scene full of two of my roommates kicking him out of the apartment and trying to make me feel better. I just got done drafting an entire break up message with my friends’ help, so it’s going to be over, I’m not dealing with that jerk again.
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You have good roommates.
Never allow anyone belittle you, respect your worth and don’t let them try to make you feel less than. When he tries to get you back don’t let him into your life, you deserve better.
You know that HE is the one with the problem, not you. If something brings you joy, you need to hold onto it. This world is hard enough and if comics and collectibles make you happy, so be it! There are so many people like you who love this stuff and it makes them better and definitely more cool. This ex BF was an immature jerk and unhappy person who was unnecessarily cruel to you.
Your now-ex is an idiot. Collectibles are a billion dollar industry, and he wants to call that “childish”? Lmao, okay buddy!
Op, kick that SOB to the curb. If you have to change because he doesn’t like what you collect, f@ck him.
There is someone out there who will appreciate you and your collection or at least respect the effort and work that goes into it.
IS THIS REAL LIFE? NO, THIS IS THE INTERNET. OH YEAH.
Jesus. It’s one thing if your boyfriend had gripes about spending time with someone whose interests didn’t align with his, and there’s many ways that he could have acted that would have been a reasonable response to those feelings.
But belittling the interests and feelings of someone he supposedly cares about is a terrible thing way to go about all this.
I love the ending to this story! Kick his ass out and leave him out. You didn’t do anything wrong to start with and if this is how he handles things he thinks are problems, I’m really scared for the next women when the encounter a real problem
This has got nothing to do with your hobbies. He wants to see how much he can control you. He’s a controlling POS. Thank god you have smart roommates.
“SUCK IT. I’M DONE”
BLOCK
That’s all you gotta do friend. Be real petty and break up with him with some sort of quote or reference to the character.
I had a dude once that was bothered by my South Park collection. I used a Cartman gif to end it.
Whatever! I do what I want!
You never accept that kind abuse from anyone. He doesn’t even like you! Don’t fall back into his trap when he starts texting. Keep you figures out on display. Keep AH’s away.
NO good person will ever mock your excitement or enthusiasm for something. If they call something you love childish, they are AUTOMATICALLY the wrong person for you. Now you know, and if this ever happens with someone you date again, you know to dump them IMMEDIATELY for incompatibility. People are allowed to like or not like you. What they are NOT allowed to do is be with you, and then mock you for who you are and try to get you to change.
And just so you know, nothing you are doing is childish. I’m over 50 and I do a variety of hobbies from pottery and painting to video games. Just because someone, or a small group of people, say something is childish, doesn’t mean that it is. They have an opinion, that’s all. If something brings you joy and hurts noone, then it is a GOOD THING, full stop.
My friends and I have a rule about this, because of an ex-friend who was a lot like your (ex)boyfriend. We call it the “Don’t Sh&t on other people’s joy” rule. And that’s the rule. Don’t crap all over someone else’s joy. If they are happy about omething, or excited, or enjoy it – it costs you nothing to let them be. There are people like your ex who are just SO miserarable and insecure that they can’t STAND to see other people enjoying anything, so they attack. THey try to make you feel bad, so they can feel better/superior. I learned to cut those people out of my life immediately, and so should you.
What a controlling and abusive bully. I’m glad you’re dumping that AH.
Better to find out he’s a pos now. I’m sorry he hurt your feelings so cruelty. One day, you’ll find someone that doesn’t resent you indulging in your interests.
Girl…don’t bother with compromises. Get rid of the manbaby. Block him on your phone and don’t even think about going back to him.
In the apartment/bedroom you pay for? Hell, no. I’m glad your roommate stepped in. That’s over the top insane.
Thank goodness! A good partner will member asl you to choose and support your hobbies and interests.
Don’t let this loser dim your light! I know plenty of 20 year olds who have the same hobbies as you. You will find your person who celebrates you and the things you love.
This asshole would have ended up abusing you.
I’m 69 and I belong to a Star Trek fan group where people dress in uniforms and collect models of starships and go to conventions. If it brings you joy, do it—you aren’t hurting a soul, unlike your ex-boyfriend (and special props to your roommate too). Go be happy.
Glad your room mates were home to help you… dont ever change for any one, if ppl dont accept you and your interest then they arent worth it!!!
OP, listen to your wonderful roommates. There is nothing wrong with you! You love your hobbies & they make you happy.
Your ex is a major AH. Never again let anyone put you you down & make fun of you like this. You & your favorite things are allowed to take up space. Get your Magneto & other items back out & enjoy them.
Oh im so sorry he did this to you. Some ppl are so terrible.