UPDATE 3: My child passed away last summer, and this is how my MIL has treated me since.

TRIGGER WARNING: premature labour, baby loss

Hi everybody.

I posted a while ago on here.

I have a very minor update, but this was kind of a self discovery and I’m not really sure what to do with this information, so I figured I’d rant here. It does feel kind of serious though.

I’ve attached the link to parts 1 and 2 here for context:

Pt 1:  https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1k07wps/my_child_passed_away_last_summer_and_this_is_how/

Pt 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1k2w0zq/comment/moc005f/?context=3

Anyways, last year I remember my stepdad made an off-handed comment to my mom when I gave birth to my son, because he had an off feeling about my MIL. He said “What if she gave [My name] something, and it caused her to go into labour early?” It was a baseless claim, so most of us just let it go. But it stuck to me, always in the back of my mind.

Because the night I went into labour, I had a headache earlier that afternoon. My MIL gave me salt and water to drink for electrolytes to help, but then she said she was going to make me a special tea for headaches. Her eldest son also has migraines, so she had the tea available. I know when you’re pregnant, you have to be very careful with what teas you drink. I trusted her, because I figured she had 2 healthy boys, she would be equally cautious with me carrying her grandchild.

Fast forward, a few hours later, I went into labour. Almost fully dilated. The doctors never knew why I went into labour early. Said it was an anomaly. Just unlucky. That all things considered, me and baby were healthy.

Today, I was with my classmates. Talking about the situation with my MIL, I brought up the tea. They expressed concern and told me I should figure out what it was. I remembered the brand she uses, DavidsTea. I didn’t know the name of the tea she gave, but she said it was specifically meant for headaches so I did a quick google search.

What came up: Headache Halo.

My friends and I researched, even consulted ChatGPT for info. Gathered that, it is in fact, not at all good for pregnant women.

It stated:

“DAVIDsTEA’s Headache Halo contains ingredients like:

•    Peppermint: Can stimulate uterine blood flow and contractions in some cases. Often listed as cautionary for pregnancy.

•    Lemongrass: Known to stimulate menstrual flow and is not considered safe in high amounts during pregnancy. It can lead to uterine contractions.

•    Lavender: Can affect hormone levels and uterine muscles.

•    Rosemary, eucalyptus, camphor (in some herbal blends): All of these are contraindicated in pregnancy, especially in the third trimester.

These herbs — especially lemongrass — are well-documented uterine stimulants.

That tea — Headache Halo — contains herbs that are not just risky in the third trimester, but especially dangerous in the second, when your body is still stabilizing and your uterus is not supposed to be contracting at all. Many herbalists and OBs explicitly warn:

Avoid lemongrass, peppermint, and lavender in the second trimester — they can cause uterine stimulation, hormonal disruption, and in worst cases, miscarriage or preterm labor.”

I didn’t know for sure if that was the tea I was given.

So I texted my partner, played off and asked: “hey do you remember what that tea for headaches was called? I think your mom gave it to me last year.”

Said I wanted to buy it, because my headaches were getting bad again.

He said he didn’t remember, but would find out when he got home.

A few hours later, he confirmed. It was in fact called Headache Halo.

I obviously can’t prove anything with this. Whether she did it unknowingly, or if she is as evil as everyone thinks she is (including me), did this will malicious intent. But in the least, this was negligence. For knowing I was pregnant, carrying her grandchild, for being pregnant herself twice before, and still not taking precautions.

I just feel sick to my stomach right now. I don’t know what to do with this information. I just have a bad feeling about this.

If anyone wants to give their thoughts or insight, please feel free. Even if you think I’m being baseless, and overreacting. Call me out. Validate me. I just need to know if what I’m feeling is real.