I appreicate everyone for your comments. I showed Kate the post and we had a few good laughs at what you guys had to say about us.
Two weeks ago, I posted about calling my gf’s ex and trying to get him to cancel having dinner with her parents.
Here is some more information about the situation that will clear some things up.
Don’t get it twisted, Kate wants/needs the money back.
The $30,000 was leftovers from Kate’s student loan that she intended to use towards paying off her student debt. It is not her parent’s money. He withdrew thousands of dollars throughout the summer while Kate was in a different state visiting her family. When she confronted him, he promised he would pay it all back and even offered to pay interest.
Kate tried to handle it herself, but every time she messaged Dylan about money, he would tell her he had a “plan”and would deposit money soon. After several months and no payments, Kate moved back in with her parents and asked for help. Kate’s dad said not to worry, he would contact him from then on.
Kate didn’t tell me to call Dylan, I wanted to. I wanted to help so I offered. She wasn’t pressuring me and she also wasn’t screaming at her mom or throwing a tantrum. I believe she was advocating for her feelings but I am bias. It was a conversation that ended with Kate feeling emotionally frustrated.
Kate’s dad did meet with Dylan and was promised monthly payments would be made. He then said he missed Kate’s younger siblings and asked if he could see them. That’s where it feels less of a business agreement and more personal.
We asked her siblings if they wanted to see Dylan. Some said “who?” and others said “Why would he want to see us?” They’ve heard what’s been going on and those were their first reactions.
The problem is this could have been a phone call rather than a 2 hour dinner. I get communication with Dylan won’t stop any time soon but maintaining a relationship that’s beyond paying off a debt is what I don’t understand. Even if “he was apart of this family for 5 years”(Kate’s mom’s words). As of right now, no payments have been made since the dinner but maybe by the end of this month.
Again, thank you for taking the time to read all this. All in all, let’s just hope it all gets paid back this time.
Comments
I agree! The relationship beyond the debt is a bit much!!! NTA!
Look she has texts with Dylan admitting he owes her money. Small claims court and get a judgement with a payment plan taken from his paycheck and be done with it.
Dylan and Kate both kinda suck here. How in the hell was he able to access her accounts? Did he commit actual fraud or did they have a shared account? How in the hell did she have $30k “leftover from her student loans that she intended to pay down her student debt”?
He ain’t ever gonna pay her back OP.
He stole money from her. She has waited for him to start paying it back. He hasn’t. Time to report the stolen money to authorities and/or sue for the money back. $30k may be too much for small claims; you would need to check.
Kate needs a lawyer. And a police report.
Kate needs a lawyer and she needs to either sue him in small claims court or report him to the police for theft. A strongly worded letter from her attorney to that effect will get the ball rolling there.
I also don’t know why she took out more money in student loans than she needed and just kept the money in an account that her partner had access to, unless he fraudulently accessed her accounts.
You can’t do anything about what her ex does with her parents, all you can do is tell Kate what you are willing to do regarding her continuing relationship with him and how this impacts her parents’ relationship with you, given that they still treat him like family even though he stole $30K from their kid.
The problem would have been better solved through the courts.
What’s the monthly payment amount, whose account is it being paid to, and what date each month is it being paid? These are all questions I’d be asking of the parents and frankly, her parents should not be brokering these deals.
She needs to take him to court WTFFFFFF & what her parents are doing letting that thief come over for dinner is incredibly stupid & inappropriate!!! But yea she needs to take him to court, since now he probably won’t pay at all & will try to pull at the parents’ heart strings!
Sue him. Tell police he stole the money. Why is Kate being a doormat.
If my mother stole $30,000 from me I would have stopped talking to her. Why is some random ex getting so much grace?
The reason that Dylan will now be seeing her family is because it gets to you, he knows it gets to you and he will enjoy it. Plus, who paid for the meal? Probably the Dad, so Dylan gets free food as well.
Your gf needs to go LC with her parents, if not NC. They don’t respect her, they don’t respect your relationship, and they’re hoping they can get Dylan to take her back.
As everyone else has said Lawyer up, that’s a huge sum of money, there’s written statements that he will pay it back, he isn’t going to do it just because he’s been asked nicely.
Why is noone taking him to court and charging him with theft
Well I hope she’s prepared to sue him at the end of the month when he doesn’t put in a dime he’s not going to pay it back not willingly right now it sounds like he’s trying to leverage it to try and get back together maybe he thinks he can get more money out of her
They need to get it writing the amount owed. Monthly payments and when the payments start. Both him and Ashley need to sign and she needs it notarized. Once that’s done then she has leverage and if he misses then she can take it to court and have it taken out of his checks.
YOur behavior sounds unhinged. This is your ex – let him go, stop intruding into his relationships.
Get a new GF and family in law my guy. They all suck besides the siblings
Why hasn’t she sued him? All she has to do is sue him in small claims with the receipts ffs.
I can see where Kate learned her complete lack of boundaries from. Yes I mean her damn parents.
The beginning of your relationship was a shitshow. The first 2 years you were together, you were ok with her still fucking that guy? He sounds like a complete douchebag, and abusive in several ways, but he wasn’t wrong about her being “just friends” with you. Are you even sure that she isn’t pulling the same shit on you now?
Her mom is an abuse sympathizer. If I had an adult daughter whose abusive ex stole $30,000 from her, I would castrate him myself. He would have been making payments through the courts 3 years ago or in hiding. This bUt hEs FaMiLy shit is basura, she is weak and deplorable.
Go find someone who doesn’t treat you this way and whose family isn’t a shitshow. And keep in mind: how you get em is how you lose em.
You did what any real one would do protect the person you love when things start crossing emotional lines. Hoping Kate gets every penny back and the peace she deserves
when this happend and of course still could do it now its fraud and theft she could get a lawyer or go small claims. either way it sounds like dylan isnt taking any of this seriously and needs to be held accountable so if it means getting a skip tracer or lawyer or small claims involved then she should do it.
Updateme
Some of these stories are just rage bait for me. It is so clear cut what needs to be done and it’s almost common sense, but they never fucking do it.
90% of all business matters can be handled over the phone, and apparently you don’t understand why people still meet in person. It’s because you can better assess your business partner that way. Of course, it’s your girlfriend’s decision and not her parents’, but you should keep in mind that her parents know her better and have known her longer than you have. You don’t even realize that she isn’t able to properly deal with things like this. Her parents will have noticed that once again their daughter can’t handle it on her own and are stepping in for her again. Your girlfriend really needs to grow up.