UPDATE: AITA for not entertaining a girl who thinks I got her pregnant from fingering?

r/

I took the most popular piece of advice from my original post, and that was to have her take a pregnancy. I decided to text her back, I apologized for ignoring her. We met up, I bought her two pregnancy test. She took them inside the bathroom of the pharmacy we bought them from. I waited outside the bathroom and let her do her thing, after she was done she asked me to come inside and we waited for the results.

Now, we’re waiting for the results, it’s been almost ten minuets and the test is still blank. She’s looking at the test wondering why theres no results, and then she’s like “I think I took it wrong”, I asked what she meant because how do you take a pregnancy test wrong, and she said she forgot the take the white cap off of the part you pee on I guess. She told me she didn’t have to pee anymore, and she would just take them when she got home. I said okay, and I drove her home.

Two hours later she sent me pictures and just like I expected, they both came back negative. I responded with “oh okay, good” and she liked the message, so I think we’re on the same page about not communicating anymore. So yeah. She’s not pregnant.

Comments

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  1. Dilapidated_girrafe Avatar

    Glad she’s not pregnant. Because if her sex ed was that poor she’s so not going to be ready to be a mom

  2. Aware_Newspaper326 Avatar

    Where do you all find those people who are as dumb as a rock

  3. NewIntroduction4655 Avatar

    …I can’t get over the fact that she peed on the sticks while they were still capped and proceeded to take them home to pee on them some more…

  4. lilredknightmare Avatar

    Gosh. Any more we are going to have to background check and IQ test every person we go out with to make sure we dont create more of these people.

  5. Platypus_Neither Avatar

    It baffles me how someone can be that all around stupid.

  6. Jazzlike_Type_6670 Avatar

    Another piece of advice… if you’re “not that into” a girl… don’t do anything sexual with her unless she is enthusiastically on board and on the same page as you are with not being that into you either. Otherwise you’re basically just using a girl as a fleshlight because you assume she’s also not into you when she very well might be. Don’t assume. You can’t read her mind. And if you don’t have a conversation with her to absolutely know for sure… yeah. Don’t use girls for gratification. Use your hand or a toy. 🤦🏼‍♀️

  7. Gemfyre1 Avatar

    Bro. Let this be a lesson. If they seem kinda dim, don’t make physical contact of any kind. Can you imagine how dumb that kid would have been having sprung from the 2 of you?

  8. OldTransportation122 Avatar

    You need to marry that genius!

  9. CJCreggsGoldfish Avatar

    JFC, if she can’t even figure out a pregnancy test, there’s no way you want her to be raising a child. At least, not your child.

  10. mrs-poocasso69 Avatar

    I was really expecting the photos that came to you to be positive (and fake). Glad that’s not the case.

  11. Drasaidyahoo Avatar

    Now we know how Thing from the Addams Family came to be

  12. MuttFett Avatar

    Stop having sex with stupid people.

  13. Acrobatic_Ear6773 Avatar

    This is what happens when you spend decades gutting sexual education.

    These two people literally do not know how babies are made.

  14. Mediocre_Brief_7088 Avatar

    For future reference, you can terminate a fingering pregnancy with anal, but I’m sure she knows that.

  15. lonly25 Avatar

    Is she playing dump or May wants the drama. Either way get away. She is trouble. Her ignorance itself is a huge red flag.

  16. Midwest_Cunt Avatar

    She’s an idiot

  17. Dry_Ask5493 Avatar

    This girl is too dumb to be sexual with anyone. She needs to get herself educated on sex, anatomy, biology, and how to read simple instructions.

  18. Significant-Boat-947 Avatar

    Can she not read? I’ve taken many tests, but I still read the box AND instructions just in case

  19. lovescarats Avatar

    Just wow. She is very ignorant. NTA

  20. techbirdee Avatar

    She didn’t poop on it instead?

  21. Pepper_Bun28 Avatar

    You dodged an idiot shaped bullet

  22. Ariquitaun Avatar

    She’s not pregnant and also she’s a fucking idiot. Run.

  23. LonelyMenace101 Avatar

    She’s either brain dead or fucking with you.

  24. IllustriousEnd2055 Avatar

    It’s rather sad that she came to you about the pregnancy test rather than a girlfriend or her mother. She seems to not have a close, trusted person to talk to about sex.

    She strikes me as the type of person who hasn’t exercised her problem-solving skills, or maybe she has some executive function deficits that hopefully will improve with brain maturity.

  25. girl-wtfareyoudoing Avatar

    If your first post isn’t sign enough she isn’t ready to have kids the fact that she messed up a pregnancy test should be 

    Be more careful in the future 

  26. Angryleghairs Avatar

    She needs sex ed. You both do

  27. Xarius86 Avatar

    Thanks for the update OP! Glad you don’t have to spend the next 18 years dealing with her. Pregnancy tests literally come with directions, all you have to do is read and follow them. You’ve dodged a bullet with this girl.

  28. ispywithmybougieeye Avatar

    And this is why we can’t allow Rump to defy defund Sex Ed programs. Because dummies like this exist.

  29. janshell Avatar

    She should not procreate if she has no idea how a baby is made

  30. ranchojasper Avatar

    Oh my God. I understand that in America there is at this point pretty much no sex education unless you live in an extremely liberal city, but how could anyone be this stupid. Even without sex education at all, how could someone think semen could come out of your finger??????

    And then after all that she pees right on the cap of the pregnancy test? Jesus Christ. Be more careful about not having any sort of sexual contact with people this dumb in the future

  31. xLittleKittenxx Avatar

    I refuse to believe someone is actually this stupid 😭

  32. PriorityAnxious9357 Avatar

    Oh cmon if this is real… she was never worried about being pregnant!

    She wanted you to like her back. You should have clarified that you didn’t!

  33. accountThrowaway6986 Avatar

    NTA she’s half special

  34. firstWithMost Avatar

    This is almost as bad as the old schoolyard story of cum being a cure for acne.

  35. zukiraphaera Avatar

    “Sorry sweetheart, those aren’t oral thermometers.”

  36. Proper_Bid_382 Avatar

    I think she’s playing stupid. If she plays stupid, maybe she can get pregnant for real and trap you.

  37. mountaindew711 Avatar

    She sounds like she’d be exempted from legal injection, IYKWIM.

  38. NewspaperDue1939 Avatar

    Yeah glad you are on the page of no more contact 😅 I was once accused of giving a girl I never had s*x with an STD!

  39. ChuckieLow Avatar

    Well, this is a funny story now and it will be a good conversation with your kids someday. I really thought she was playing some game with you. Either she was pregnant and desperate or not pregnant and desperate. She’s just young and naive and/or pathologically afraid of being coming pregnant.
    But it worked out.
    I’m just confused how she’s more experienced with hand stuff than kissing.

  40. RaymondBeaumont Avatar

    were you fingering forrest gump?

  41. mdthomas Avatar

    I’m not saying there aren’t people out there who know nothing about sex…

    But this sounds very made up. Especially with the part about not taking off the caps.

  42. lapisnyazuli Avatar

    If she didn’t know how to take a pregnancy test, why didn’t she… You know… Read the instructions? 😐

    (Answer: because she’s dumb af)

  43. Distinct_Reaction644 Avatar

    Good lord. Just move on lol. It’s not even worth anymore hassle

  44. Commercial_You2541 Avatar

    I truly hope someone this stupid does not ever have a child🤦🏻‍♀️

  45. CubanDave87 Avatar

    When I was younger a girl I dated was worried that she could get pregnant from performing oral.

  46. dyedinthewoolScot Avatar

    Kim, Kim nice but dim.
    Maybe send her a link for ‘Sex Education for Dummies’ as a parting gift, because surely how is anyone that stupid?!?

  47. nottobetruffledwith- Avatar

    Please stop having any sexual relations with this person. She’s a moron.

  48. Jimmymylifeup Avatar

    now block her number

  49. Mr_Pink_Gold Avatar

    Thinks she can get pregnant from fingering… Pees on capped tests… Sharp as a cue ball that one.

  50. heartbh Avatar

    Holy shit, send her a comprehensive textbook on this subject if she is over 18, NTA.

  51. EstherClemmens Avatar

    Pfffttt!! Bwaahahaha! Oh man, that is a new level of dumbass I never thought I’d see. I wouldn’t entertain it either. I might just throw her a bone and ask, “If you can really get pregnant by fingering a girl, I wonder why more lesbian couples don’t have this problem?”

  52. STS1990 Avatar

    NTA. This post reminds me why I wanted to be a sex education teacher…. Too many poorly educated people out there having sex and making babies when they don’t even know how to get pregnant. Yikes. Block and run buddy. You don’t want to get stuck with a dip like that.

  53. CablePuzzleheaded497 Avatar

    Nta. She’s an idiot.

  54. forgetregret1day Avatar

    I know I’m weird but the first thing that came to mind was Spider-Man. Did she honestly think you could impregnate her by shooting a “web” out of your finger? There’s dumb and then there’s her. It’s scary to be honest.

  55. parisgirl13 Avatar

    She is not smart enough to be allowed out without an adult. My 14 year old knows more about sex/reproduction than this girl.

  56. Alaska1111 Avatar

    What on earth

  57. oister66 Avatar

    That is a woman who should never procreate.

  58. SpyderDust Avatar

    Sex ed wouldn’t have saved this girl. She has feathers between her ears. Good lord.

  59. Eric848448 Avatar

    Why are you still humoring this person? Walk away and don’t look back.

  60. josherjohn Avatar

    This chick is dumb as hell

  61. Ancient_Yak4019 Avatar

    Why did you entertain this behavior??

  62. MidiReader Avatar

    let her never procreate, we don’t need her genes to continue.

  63. bookish-brat Avatar

    I’m sorry what? The way I snort laughed at that title alone. Our sex ed programs are sorely lacking…

  64. crashfrog05 Avatar

    > “There are people so dumb,” my father said,  
    > “That they don’t know beans from an old bedstead.  
    > They can’t tell one thing from another. 
    > Ella Cinders from Whistler’s mother,  
    > A porcupine quill from a peacock feather,  
    > A buffalo-flop from Florentine leather.  
    > Meatless shanks boiled bare and blue,  
    > They bob up and down like bones in a stew;  
    > Don’t know their arse from a sassafras root,   
    > And couldn’t pour piss from a cowhide boot  
    > With complete directions on the heel.”  
    > That’s how he felt-that’s how I feel.

    “Plain Talk”, William Jay Smith

  65. HygorBohmHubner Avatar

    I think I lost a few brain cells reading this girl’s “logic”.

  66. Sadiocee24 Avatar

    I can’t believe there are girls this dumb 😂 girl should not be sleeping with anyone until she learns some basic sex ed and how to take a test. What a dumbass

  67. Crafty_Special_7052 Avatar

    I feel like this girl isn’t ready for a relationship with how clueless she is.

  68. SonOfMotherlesssGoat Avatar

    She sounds a bit dense you dodged a bullet there

  69. One_Variety2315 Avatar

    Did you post in the “Trying for a Baby” sub this morning??

  70. Remote_Tank_8465 Avatar

    I say run with it. Could be fun

  71. Hungry_Attention5836 Avatar

    ok this is fucking hilarious but it cant be real. no way. kudos for the people who designed AI that can be this entertaining

  72. Loawluh Avatar

    does she have a mental disability?

  73. quizzicalturnip Avatar

    Thank god someone that fucking stupid isn’t making babies. How the fuck did she get into uni?

  74. scumlord_meatbag Avatar

    Thank God someone so dumb isn’t pregnant