Update: AITA for telling my boyfriend I wouldn’t pretend to be Japanese to impress his old high school friends ?

r/

Original:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/miPKhE4jma

A tiny update as the conversation I had with my boyfriend was less than 2 hours long. He promises that he doesn’t care that I’m Chinese instead of Japanese. He admitted he’s physically attracted to women who aren’t white. He promises that his old high school friends doesn’t have anti-Chinese sentiments.
He admitted it was a stupid competitive thing between him and his friends. He said his friends will be impress that I’m Chinese but one of his other friends has a South Korean girlfriend. In their weird ranking, even though Chinese is ranked high, South Korean is ranked higher. For them, the only thing that ranks higher than South Korean is Japanese.
I broke up with him. I told him and his friends need to have more respect for women.

Comments

  1. notme1414 Avatar

    Good for you.

  2. WebInformal9558 Avatar

    Good for you. That sounds like an insanely stupid thing for him to worry about.

  3. dr_lucia Avatar

    Wow! He and his friends not only have this ranking, they share it and he told you!! So many levels of … !

    Of course you are NTA for not pretending to be what you are not!!

  4. MrMastodon Avatar

    I’ve heard multiple Asian comedians joke about a hierarchy of Asian countries, and have audiences agree with them.

    But a white dude saying that to an Asian person is bonkers.

    You’re better off without that dumbass.

  5. Local_Ad7264 Avatar

    Thank god. He and his friends are gross.

  6. Tremenda-Carucha Avatar

    Good for you. That’s a tough decision, but I think it’s for the best.
    … And, well done on standing up for your identity.

  7. Own-Performance5094 Avatar

    Honestly, I’m glad you stood up for yourself. No one should feel pressured to pretend to be something they’re not just to fit in. You deserve someone who respects you fully.

  8. -whiteroom- Avatar

    Bunch of fetishists.

  9. Morbos1000 Avatar

    It is one thing to have a bit of a preference for a race or ethnicity but when it crosses into fetishization that is a huge red flag. That point came the moment a ranking system used by him and his friends entered the picture.

  10. Whitesecan Avatar

    You did great standing up for yourself. You’re not some piece of meat for a competition.

  11. YouSayWotNow Avatar

    The very idea that he and his friends RANK the desirability of female partners according to their cultural / ethnic origin is deeply, deeply shitty behaviour.

    You did the right thing to break up with him.

    Absolutely appalling behaviour!

  12. Kind-Turnover8962 Avatar

    I read your post yesterday and was hoping you would break up with him. Good for u girl! You deserve someone better

  13. crazy010101 Avatar

    Good job. There is many Asian cultures in the world and ranking them is pretty crazy. Very happy you left him as a man married to an Asian woman.

  14. mad2109 Avatar

    That’s so gross. You’re well shot of him.