Hi, so update regarding my last post if You want to know the situation here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1mlutwx/aita_fortelling_my_dad_i_dont_like_the_sexual/
but you probably don’t need to read it tbh
So I told my mom last night (she was on a trip and finally came home that evening) I was just washing the dishes trying to psych myself up, I was shaking and crying so my mom could barely understand me but then she completely. freaked out at my dad (thanks Mom!)
And of course he acted completely clueless, saying I got it all twisted and trying to justify it and shit. Whatever, fuck you guy
The other day he said my shorts looked tight and they must be cutting my vagina in half. In what realm is that okay to say to your daughter? But I got it twisted buddy okay. Oh yeah about the ‘I love you’ blow kiss he said it made her “feel uncomfortable” and yet that’s the first time I’m hearing about it when I mentioned numerous times that the comments he makes towards me makes me actually uncomfortable and obviously a reaction to putting my foot down the other day.
Anyway, he stormed back to his bedroom saying this whole thing was ridiculous. Mom yelled at him some more, saying he can’t make any more comments about my body at all. Then my mom turned to me saying I should’ve listened to her when she saw some signs of him being totally inappropriate with me and yeah she’s right. I totally ignored her because I didn’t think it was serious at the time and just went along with him like a dumb little teenage girl. I feel so stupid, I wish I listened to her sooner and maybe this whole thing wouldn’t have happened in the first place.
My mom had some experience with this before except My older half-sister got raped by my bio dad and he had CP. Obviously that’s bad but “just words” could also count as sexual abuse. Let that be a lesson for anyone else going through this! learn through my mistakes and tell someone even if the person has never laid a hand on you 🙂 And I hope my dad finally stops and I could forget this ever happened
And to anyone who thinks this was fake, thanks for saying my dad sexually abusing me is made up. My boobs popping out only happened like a few times and the fact that he closed his eyes and said he was “trying to remember when they popped out” even once is CRAZY to me. Could’ve covered his eyes when it happened and let me know and that was the end of it but no. <3 And my mom just wanted to let him know what was going on with me for the medical stuff but no he wanted to make comments about it to me afterwords. Obviously I don't want her to do that anymore <3
Comments
This is not ok honey why is he still there? If this were my daughter telling me this happened with my husband I’d kick him out and get a divorce your mom sucks
When I started growing up and it became obvious to everyone and I had an accident in my bikini, my stepdad said: Hahaha, what a loser! That means you’re getting older and you’ll have more adult responsabilities and you’ll have to pay taxes!
That’s what an adult should do when faced with an awkward situation like that: Downplay it because it doesn’t matter
NTA – But hang on a minute
“Then my mom turned to me saying I should’ve listened to her when she saw some signs of him being totally inappropriate with me…”
Wait, what! So you’re telling me that your mum knew about this all along and instead of nipping it in the bud and making your stepdad stop IMMEDIATELY, she chose to continue to allow you be abused by this man until it reached a boiling point!
Instead of warning you initially or saying you should’ve listened to her, she should’ve protected you and kicked him out the minute she recognised he was being inappropriate – not leave it until you needed to speak up. Jfc, your mum is just as guilty in all of this too.
You need to tell another adult considering you mum has shifted blame onto you with the “You should have listened to me”… I’m a mother – if my partner did anything like that he would be out of the house and I’d be informing the police/social services. She should have kicked him out and safeguarded you – not blamed you for “not listening”. If she saw worrying behaviour by him and let it get this far? Then she isn’t safeguarding you correctly.
You have done nothing wrong here… Your father has and your mother is not any better by shifting blame to you for HIS actions that he chose to do all on his own.
Wait wait wait…
Your bio dad was a pedophile that was around long enough to rape your older half sister?! And she’s witnessed herself her new husband ALSO being predatory toward her youngest daughter but did nothing?!
Your mom has a type. And she’ll risk her kids to feel wanted, congrats on managing to avoid getting raped by her latest predator husband. You aren’t safe there OP. A child shouldn’t have to be on alert for a pedophile living with them. That’s the parents duty, and your mom failed you. Likely is patting herself on the back that at least you didn’t get raped.
NTA. I have a friend who was in the marines and 19yo–he called some 17yo girl he was dating some selection of sexual terms and her mom called the cops. He was charged with sexual assualt and still gets visited by the state troopers on a monthly basis. Words can indeed be SA–and get you in jail.
nta and honestly your mum needs therapy she seems to have a type when it comes to men its like those girls who keep picking guys who beat them up but instead of phsyical abuse she chooses pedos
Do you have a safe place you can live? With your pedo stepdad and enabling mom, it doesn’t feel safe for you to continue living there.
Your mom knew about this and didn’t divorce him? Does he know where the bodies are buried or have more money than god? Why in the world is she into predators?
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 your step dad is grooming all of you. Do you have a safe place you can go? Your mom needs to put him out, he is a predator, but sadly law enforcement won’t do anything. NTA.
Your mom sure knows how to pick them.
Your Mom has a type and not in the good way. She is just as guilty as the men in her life. She has one job to raise and protect her children, even into young adulthood. It would be interesting to hear her justify her decisions.
Wow your mother definitely knows how to pick them. And why is she still with his creep?
Yk. Sometimes violence is the answer. What the actual fuck is wrong with your mother. Does she put in her dating profile “looking for predators”? Your mother is a vile woman. She cares more about getting a man’s dick wet than protecting her children. Can you not call cps or do you have any other family that’s willing to help you??
No your mom is not right. You did nothing wrong. Not one thing. She is to protect you. She brought a man into your house, then she saw signs of him being inappropriate towards her daughter. She needed to leave at that moment. To try and spin it back on you is disgusting. I was going to say your mother is just as bad as your step dad, but she’s actually worse. She left you with a man she knew was innaproopitate towards you. NTA
erm… that was a lot to unpack. so moms staying with him?
Sorry… did you say your mom ALREADY KNEW he was being inappropriate and hasn’t kicked him out or left?!? That’s wrong on sooo many levels.
Hope you get out of there and somewhere safe.
I’m glad you spoke up, but your mother’s reaction is way too little and low-key. My mom would have kicked my SD out at the end of a pew-pew. Mom is setting you up to take the blame. He is grooming you. Can you go live with someone else? Grandparents? Older siblings? For now, put a safety bar on your bedroom — Look up Brinks 20 Gauge Steel Door Security bar or Master Lock Folding Door Security Bar (tuck in out of site in a closet when not in use). Remove the screws holding in the strike plate of your bedroom door and replace with 3″ long screws. If you are not handy, get help from someone handy when he is out of the house. Try to avoid being alone with him — especially if he’s drinking or otherwise altered.