UPDATE!!! AITAH for not telling my boyfriend I’m moving after finding out he cheated?

Sorry for the long wait but.. A lot has come to light and a lot has happened. I will try not to make this super long, but if it is, I apologize in advance.

Hey Reddit, I wanted to give you all an update on my situation with my cheating ex. First, thank you for all the support and advice. It really helped me navigate and continue to STAND ON BUSINESS.

As planned, I moved out. It was incredibly hard, but I knew it was the right decision for me because jail is not something I want to do again. The leasing office did contact him so he found out that I was moving. He then decided that he wanted to talk. I did sit down and talk to him. I wanted to see his reaction, specifically his shocked expression. I needed to see that he understood the gravity of what he had done. I said, “You want to talk now?” Where was this want when you were balls deep in that bitch, when you guys were smiling in my face like shit didn’t happen, when I voiced my concerns and you both reassured me that there was nothing when you would talk shit about all the different sides she would bring home when you would text her late at night in the living trying to get some more ( he had texted her the night I found out”). I said “don’t act like you’re sorry and don’t try any guilt tripping because all this is on you.”I also told him that he was a POS for undermining me and our relationship by telling her that he doesn’t mind things that she does that make me uncomfortable. Like wearing only a tee shirt and panties, coming out to talk in only a towel, or having you critique the nudes, she would sell to men. Then I hit him with a couple of things he didn’t know I knew, I said “Why the fuck would you lie and say it’s cool and that we had an agreement that we just had to let the other person know and that you were going to tell me, also you said she just rode your fingers… we both know that’s a lie”. I also said “not only did you fuck her but you continued to pursue her and now I know sometimes you would do it while I was in the room. Now I know why you would always comment on men not being able to make her cum after she made that statement it was because that might she told you, you were the only man that made her come that far and that hard. And to think you kissed me the next day and told me you loved me, what a lying asshole! I said tell me why and make it good because no matter what you say I’M DONE! And shocked he was. He was quiet, almost stunned, and finally said, ‘I don’t know what to say. I messed up big time.’ He said I take full responsibility for what I did and there’s no excuse. He said we weren’t really talking and that he was searching for something to ease his mind and some bullshit I don’t remember and that she provided that something. I said so you’re telling me that instead of being the grown man you pretend to be and telling me how you feel, you decide to let your dick do the talking. The look on his face was priceless and confirmed that he finally understood the consequences of his actions. I was honest about my feelings of betrayal, disgust, and anger. I made it clear that I wouldn’t be contacting him and that he needed to figure out his living situation on his own. I said Tina might have room for you. Maybe you should call her. He said I cut her off after she moved out because I thought we could work things out. I laughed and said we’ll you thought wrong buddy and got up to finish packing my things.

One crucial detail I forgot to mention in my original post was that I spoke with my landlord before moving. I explained the situation, including the cheating and the reasons for my sudden departure. Because we were so close to the end of the lease, and she understood the circumstances, she agreed to release me from any further obligations. This was a huge relief, and it allowed me to leave without the added stress of financial repercussions from the apartment. I did leave a copy of the new agreement with the ex.

Now I’m in my new place. I’m out walking my dog,
when the universe decided to throw me a curveball. Shockingly, I ran into Tina at my new apartment building! Turns out, she lives there as well. I guess karma has a twisted sense of humor. I just smiled and started to walk away. Then curiosity got the best of me and I turned around and asked her to talk. Boy did she talk. I started with now that the situation is over tell me what really happened. She says that she was crying to him on the couch and that he started to rub her leg and move his fingers up slowly. She said he shouldn’t because of me but that’s when he told her the lie about us just having to tell each other. She did that it happened so fast but she just knows that she was riding his dick and not his fingers. She threw me for a loop and pissed me off by saying and I quote ” I used to purposely walk around half clothed to get his attention and entice him”. She said especially after you stated that you didn’t like when I walked around like that and then he came to me and said he doesn’t mind and he likes it. I (she) figured that if he didn’t care, why should I? She said he would set up movie nights for them to cuddle on the couch while I was at work. I saw red and it took everything in me not to punch her in the face for the blatant disregard and disrespect. I gathered my composure and said if you wanted his dick so bad why didn’t you do all this shit before I was in the picture. She said she didn’t see him like that until she started to see me changing him. By that, she means I stopped him from dropping everything and running to her aid. I mean, she has so many men to choose from, and I didn’t think he needed to be CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE. I said it wasn’t enough for you to have community pussy you had to ruin (now I know) am already dying relationship. I asked her when was the last time they spoke, and she said we talk every day, and he’s been over here a few times. She says nothing sexual happens, and he talks about how he tucked up and how he wishes this could’ve been different. Sounds like bullshit to me. I then said I didn’t care and that I was done talking and to act like she didn’t know me if she saw me.

He tried calling and texting incessantly because Tina told him that I lived in the same complex, but I blocked his number and muted all notifications. I haven’t looked back. He also tried to contact my friend, who told him, in no uncertain terms, to leave me the fuck alone. Tina has also been trying to reach out through mutual friends. I have told them all, that I want nothing to do with either of them. I’m done with the drama and the lies.

Apparently, he’s scrambling to find a new place and is kicking himself for his predicament. Honestly, I don’t care. He made his choices, and now he has to deal with the consequences.
I’ve been going to therapy, and it’s been incredibly helpful in processing my emotions and building my self-esteem. I’m focusing on myself now, and I’m determined to move forward and create a happy, fulfilling life.

I know some of you thought I was being harsh, but I stand by my decision. I needed to protect myself, and I refused to let him manipulate me or guilt me into feeling responsible for his problems.
Thank you again for all your support. It meant the world to me.