UPDATE: AITAH for telling my BIL that helping at home might lead to intimacy?

A couple points before the update:

My BIL is married to my sister. It’s not my husband’s brother.

The four of us have no problem discussing this kind of thing.

To those that said my husband is awesome, you’re right! He’s kind and caring and the best partner I could have hoped for. We’re a team. So much so that when our first was born the nurses made a comment about how we seemed like old pros. Plus he understands how important ice cream is!

To those who DM’d me to tell me that my husband isn’t a real man because he does dishes, trust me, he’s very much a real man.

The Update:
More than a few people said I overstepped and commented on something I shouldn’t have. Fair enough.

I FaceTimed Marie and apologized for doing so. I explained my intentions to try to help point out to Colin that he had an opportunity in front of him to assist, but I also recognized how unfair it was to her to do it the way I did.

I also told her I was very sorry to suggesting that she would have any sort of intimacy because I essentially took away her agency. I didn’t intend to tell Colin that doing dishes would definitely lead to sex but I recognize it did come across that way.

She told me not to worry about either thing but she accepted my apology. She also mentioned that Colin finally spoke to her and admitted he was very stressed out at work and just wanted to come home and not do anything for a while at night so he could unwind. They are working n ways for him to be a better teammate around the house without feeling more stress.

I also apologized to Colin directly for overstepping a boundary. He said he was sorry for losing his temper and that he knows he lashed out out of embarrassment for being called out in front of Marie and my husband.

While we were talking my husband poked his head in the room and offered to host a cousin sleepover for their kids soon, so Colin and Marie could have a night to just chill and be together. Both Colin and Marie tried to say it was unnecessary but he insisted and they relented. He said he’d take all the kids out for breakfast as well because he’ll take any chance to get breakfast at a diner.

Like I said, the man is an absolute gift.

TL;DR: apologies all around. Communication wins. Hubs is the best.