Wow I got a lot more responses than I thought, and I want to thank everyone for responding. I saw mixed reviews but mostly people saying I am the asshole. I truly thought it was okay to wear white to a wedding when it was in the dress code. To answer more questions: this is my second wedding ever (I was 8 the first time). I wish my parents would have said something but maybe we were on the same page. I didn’t read the description of the dress. I didn’t think a cheap ish dress from lulus was bridal.
I ended up texting my cousin (the bride) because I want to let her know there was no bad intention at all. I let her know why I wore white and apologized for not understanding the dress code better. She told me she can understand how the code was misleading but she didn’t think anyone would take it literal. Oops. Luckily she said she didn’t really notice until her bridesmaids made a big deal of it to her since I still kinda blended in. I really feel bad and like an asshole, I guess I’m just a little clueless. I told my cousin she’s more than welcome to wear white as revenge if she wants lol. Should I wear THE WHITE DRESS to my future wedding? I most likely won’t make any more updates and will try to fight the embarrassment. Thank you.
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: Wow I got a lot more responses than I thought, and I want to thank everyone for responding. I saw mixed reviews but mostly people saying I am the asshole. I truly thought it was okay to wear white to a wedding when it was in the dress code. To answer more questions: this is my second wedding ever (I was 8 the first time). I wish my parents would have said something but maybe we were on the same page. I didn’t read the description of the dress. I didn’t think a cheap ish dress from lulus was bridal.
I ended up texting my cousin (the bride) because I want to let her know there was no bad intention at all. I let her know why I wore white and apologized for not understanding the dress code better. She told me she can understand how the code was misleading but she didn’t think anyone would take it literal. Oops. Luckily she said she didn’t really notice until her bridesmaids made a big deal of it to her since I still kinda blended in. I really feel bad and like an asshole, I guess I’m just a little clueless. I told my cousin she’s more than welcome to wear white as revenge if she wants lol. Should I wear THE WHITE DRESS to my future wedding? I most likely won’t make any more updates and will try to fight the embarrassment. Thank you.
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She puts the dress code on the invitation and then says she didn’t think anyone would read it?
Did she think they might ignore the date, time and location, too?
This really didn’t seem like an asshole move- was literally in the dress code. Don’t over think this- it was her mistake.
I always am usually on the side of the guest. But Not only was this dress solidly white, it was long and flowy. And made of a material that some wedding dresses are made from. We live and we learn. I hope one day you look back at this and laugh! You didn’t kill anyone, or steal someone’s life savings. Give yourself some Grace.
For my brothers wedding (to another guy) they asked us all to wear white. Not one lady looked like a bride. It’s not hard
I just went back and read the original post, NTA she said white was acceptable🤷♀️
You are lucky your cousin is gracious.
The reviews were NOT mixed
I’m not sure why people are crucifying you this way. Jesus Christ—it was a mistake. Making an etiquette mistake doesn’t make you an asshole. (And yes, calm the fuck down people, I did see that she could’ve bought a veil with it.) Don’t give it another thought. You apologized to the bride & it’s over. Every one of us has done much worse.
Don’t stress yourself over it. It was an honest mistake and you’ve apologised. Put it out of your mind.
Yes OP was wrong but it was a genuine mistake that she’s accepted. She’s apologised, why are you all dragging her for it again?
I was all ready to be on your side but omg there’s white cotton summer dress and then there’s chiffon white wedding dress.
Didn’t read the original post but is it some type of etiquette toNOT wear white to a wedding????
I heard of not wearing red
As I said on the first post, this isn’t about the dress being white, it was always about it being an actual wedding dress. I feel like OP was (and still it) being deliberately obtuse about it, I strongly suspect that she knew what she was doing here.
I don’t know, to me, that’s not a wedding dress. Sure, you could wear it as a bride, but $120 doesn’t scream wedding gown to me. It’s a very pretty white dress, but just because they market it with a veil doesn’t make it bridal.
Also, the bride brought this on herself by literally stating that white was one of the color options in the dress code.
“Cheapish dress” my brother it’s a 120$ flowy white dress…
If you’re trying to make us think you didn’t know you’re not supposed to wear white to someone’s wedding, you’re not only an asshole, but a liar.
I’m not going to give a judgment here but y’all the dress is not a bridal gown. Lulus is a dress shop, not specially a bridal store. The same dresses they have in the “bridal” section they also have in their “normal” section. I looked through every white dress on this site that was located in the “normal” section when trying to find a dress for graduation. This dress was one of my potentials. Not once did I think it was a bridal gown. And for everyone talking about the description and reviews, when I was looking for a dress I looked at neither. So there’s absolutely a possibility OP didn’t either. I don’t think it’s fair to say that this was clearly a bridal gown 🤷♀️
I still think this is rage bait because no one could be this oblivious.
If you followed the dress code then you’re not an asshole, whoever made a dumb ass dress code that wasn’t actually explicit is the AH here.
Cousin is an idiot.
Oh, come on, OP. Your update just confirms to me that you had some clue your dress was skating close to the ‘inappropriate for a wedding guest to wear’ boundary. The photo of the dress you posted screams bridal gown. I smell some jealousy that your cousin has ‘married well’.
Are you kidding that you didn’t know? So, if you were getting married and some female guests turned up in white, you wouldn’t give it a second thought?
Bro even if it was your second wedding ever… you just KNOW not to wear white. I also have only ever been to 1 wedding in my life, but I know wearing white is a big fat NO. Even if you’re from (maybe) another culture, I feel like by now it’s a universally known rule…
Also sorry to say this but the “I did not read the description” is such a bs thing to say. You also didn’t read the top of the page which says “wedding”?
Your cousin is kind for taking it so well.
What was the dress code that makes this okay?
>I saw mixed reviews
You wore a wedding dress to your cousins wedding. The reviews are not mixed.
>Should I wear THE WHITE DRESS to my future wedding?
This just makes it more apparent you are being purposely obtuse.
It sounds like you are twisting the entire situation to make yourself look better here. You chose to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding. That’s it.
Of course YTA, everybody knows not to wear a white dress.
Lol, who are you lying to? The reviews were NOT mixed. You bought and wore a white dress to a wedding where the accessories on the site were literally a wedding veil. YTA
It’s a shame you didn’t have it dyed. Could have saved you from the drama and would have been beautiful in baby blue.
A part of me doesn’t believe you. If you have been listening to the podcast you would have heard a wedding episode by now and know not to where white to a wedding. Why didn’t you look up online proper wedding attire and is wearing white to a wedding ok. Why didn’t you check in with friends or family. To many points you could have chosen another dress which makes me YTA
This was a wedding gown. Complete the look has a veil. There is absolutely no way you did not know this was an inappropriate dress to wear to someone else’s wedding.
That dress could have passed for a beach wedding dress. It is super cute, though.
Dude the dress you got was a literal WEDDING DRESS lmaoooo
So you have chosen to double down on your weaponized incompetence.
I’m glad you apologized, next time make sure you read the freaking dress description.
I still don’t know why or how you’d think it’s cool to wear a white dress that is advertised as a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding 😂
Honey, you are more than a “little” clueless. You’re probably an attention seeker IRL. And the replies were decidedly not mixed. It was an absolutely pile on.
I don’t think you have really realized how badly this makes you look and how completely this is your fault. But, your deep cluelessness shows that you’re simply a dumb person, so it’s not exactly your fault I suppose.
Lol @ mixed reviews. Not mixed at all.
Everyone who saw you at that wedding absolutely hates you lmao
Damn Reddit is so toxic. I understand being clueless to all the rules of culture and womanhood, we really don’t know her situation.
This is ai rage bait look at the profile
You’re definitely the asshole.
The whole idea of don’t wear white to a wedding should be dead.
Don’t feel embarrassed! Just go on and live your life, happily. Next wedding, don’t wear white so the brides have everyone’s attention… as if they’ll die without it.
White at a wedding if not the bride – 100% you are the AH!
*unless the bride is wearing a different color and specifically asks all guests to wear white
They were not mixed. The web page said “wedding shop” and had multiple references to walking down the aisle, ride off into the sunset, and pair it with a veil. All the reviews were brides. I genuinely cannot believe your choice was not intentional, unless you are like 14 and buy things without looking at ANY details or reviews.
I had no idea it was wrong to wear white to a wedding until I read people frothing at the mouth on it on Reddit.
Wait, You wore a white dress from Lulus?
Those are bridal dresses. All of them,
Lots of brides wear them for their wedding or reception. Not just engagement photos, bridal or bachelorette.
She’s wearing a pnina tornado to your wedding.
I don’t understand how this ever happens. Are people that starved for attention at a wedding?
Everyone knows not to wear white to a wedding. It’s a basic rule.
Jesus dude
YTA
Probably pretty stupid
Honestly, sometimes I’m pretty oblivious about things (whoosh). Not saying this is your case, but I’m an autistic woman with ADHD and some things just completely miss my radar. I don’t know if I’d ever wear white to a wedding as that’s kind of a rule that I’ve read about over the years, but if you’ve never seen it and you had no reason to question it, I believe that you didn’t mean any ill will. Of course, you’ll definitely remember that from now on, and good on you for apologizing to your cousin. It hopefully didn’t bother her that much, and owning up to it, explaining confusion, and admitting our faults is what makes us better people. It’s people who can’t apologize or admit they are wrong who never grow. Ignorance is a tough one, but in the end your intent wasn’t bad.
Definitely keep the dress because you never know when you might need it if you love it. Unless it has bad connotation now, and in that case get it to an upcoming bride who needs a dress and who may not be able to afford one at full price.
You’re funking crazier than we all thought if you thought the reviews were mixed.
Girl you wore a fucking wedding dress to someone else’s wedding.
A+ trolling effort.
You knew what you were doing. Don’t play dumb. I wonder why you haven’t been invited to a wedding since you were 8, getting some pick me vibes.
Hahahaha sorry but you’re a bit daft. Whites means part white on the dress, not just a white dress. Like people who wore white with florals.