I have an update for all of you wonderful people that helped me see things for what they are and put a stop to it!
Original post I shared how while babysitting my son my MIL when through my closet and picked some of my clothes that she wanted to wear for a date, and her opening our mail.
Well friends, here is what happened. I had a conversation with husband and said that I do expect him to handle his mom when she behaves like that in the future, but at this time it was important for me to speak to her and lay out some ground rules of what I expect her to not do in our house.
She came over after baby was asleep, and I told her I was not ok with what she did. That I felt violated and would appreciate that if she find herself in our house alone again to please not go into our room, and all personal stuff.
She became very mad at first and then played the victim. She said the reason I don’t accept this is because I don’t like her and accept her. She said she has suspected that for years. I told her I have actually always liked her and having her around and that prior to all these issues I never really had an issue with her. She continued to play the victim and this went on for so long that I stood up and said that conversation was going into loops, that I don’t have to prove to her that I never had an issue with her before, and that conversation was over. I believe she was trying to make me once again look like the bad person. That I am only upset because it was her. That I have a problem with her. And guess what, now I do. Now I do dislike of her, because I finally see who she is. She is still his mom and I will respect her as such, but she won’t be coming to my house anymore and frankly I have zero desire to hang out.
I have never been around someone so toxic and it’s truly sad.
For all the MIL out there please don’t be this nuts!
For all of you that helped me understand her behavior, thank you!! ❤️
Comments
It seems like she’s never had to deal with boundaries
I’m a MIL, and this is crazy. As far as her trying to make her the victim – reverse uno card that crap right back on her. Tell her that you’re so sad because you felt so close to her, and it hurts to feel so violated by someone that means so much to you. That when she does this, you can’t help but feel like she’s announcing to you and your husband and to everyone how little she thinks of your home / belongings / ability to handle your responsibilities. That if it was anyone but you, she wouldn’t be doing this…
Ok, probably not the healthiest way to respond, but you can imagine doing it and seeing the look on her face 🙂
I admit, I have arranged things at my son and dil’s house – WITH THEIR PERMISSION (helping them unpack after they moved across several states with a newborn and toddler). All of it has been, “Is it ok if I…” and with the clear understanding that they can say no, with no hard feelings, and unless they asked, it was never “personal” items like clothes and stuff, it was like, “Do you care if I unpack the kitchen? Any particular place you want stuff to go, or do you want me to just put it where I think makes sense and you can move it later?”
Now, I admit, sometimes I put things away in the wrong spot at their house or at our daughter and sil’s house, but then, there’s times they put stuff away in the wrong place at my house – we all laugh about it because we know it’s not intentional, it’s truly a case of I don’t know which drawer the garlic press goes…
Updateme
opening other people’s mail is a federal offense (in the US)
she’s lucky she didn’t get reported for that shit.
This woman has necrosis of the brain. I have pet and kid sat for so many friends and family and it NEVER occurred to me to look in any closet except a kitchen cabinet for a spice. Do not let her in your home unless your husband and you are there. It is so bizarre. Glad you confronted her.
Updateme