Hi Reddit. It’s been a while and I honestly forgot about this site entirely. I dont use any social media or anything so I’m not really in the habit of keeping up with these things. But Reddit sent an email about a privacy update and reminded me about it so I thought I would share an update in case anyone still cares.
The past 4 years have been a lot of growth for me. I did change my name as some suggested. I didn’t end up taking my brother’s name out of fear of linking me to my former family and making it easier for them to find me. I did want a connection though so I took the (fairly common) last name of his favorite singer as my last name and a first name I’ve always loved and wanted to name a daughter someday.
My room mate was amazing, she got married last year and moved out with her now husband. I still see them occasionally as friends. She let me keep the apartment and I also ended up with her kitty because he liked me better and her husband is mildly allergic. So we’re besties now, facing the world together.
I ended up leaving the job that kind redditor helped set me up with after 2 years. I found a much better role closer to the apartment. It pays better and I can walk to work. I’d call it a win.
I know everyone is wondering if there has been more family drama but luckily there hasn’t really. I haven’t heard from any of them since I left. I am waiting for it though and trying my best to make sure it can’t ever happen.
I do wish I had something left of my brother’s. He’d be 20 now, the same age I was when all of this went down. It still hurts to know he won’t ever be 20, or 30, or anything else. I wish I had kept a piece of him or maybe had some of his ashes made into a necklace or something just to have him with me. Everything happened so fast and I never thought I’d end up leaving home so I always thought I’d just be able to go visit our beach if I wanted to talk to him at all. But I guess that’s the trade off.
I don’t date at all. I really keep pretty much to myself at least for now. I don’t think I can trust people enough to get close. I am in therapy and it’s helping.
Things are honestly pretty good right now. I just wanted everyone who wondered to know that. So many kind people offered support and advice and opened my eyes to realities I wasn’t ready to recognize. I might not be here if not for them, especially the person who put me in touch with resources and helped me find a new job. I owe my new life to them, so thank you.
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I don’t know what originally happened, but I’m very happy and proud of you that you made it out.
You mentioned „our beach“. I assume you don’t want to visit it in fear of being recognised, but could you have someone else get you a bit of sand, a pebble or a shell in memory of your brother?
Good for you, u/ThrowRAredheadorphan !
I remember reading your post years ago, and thinking that it was a horrible situation that neither you nor your brother deserved.
As much as I grieved for your brother, I am happy to know that you are doing better now, and that you are doing well and are in therapy.
I’m genuinely flabbergasted by how much you’ve overcome, your grit and gorgeous spirit shine through these words, leaving me starry-eyed and rooting for you more than ever.
Didn’t see the original but so glad you’re doing well!