Hello hello!
Thank you to everyone for the advice on the topic! After reading through many helpful comments, I was able to compile some great advice and call my dad.
Here’s a run down of how the conversation went:
Me: “hey dad I hope that you’re doing well. I was hoping we could chat about the conversation that happened on my birthday”
Him: “oh yes, thank goodness you’re calling to bring this up. I feel like I shot my self in the foot, I am so sorry.”
Me: “I appreciate your apology and I know what you said came from a place of love. I just wanted to tell you that I have been working really hard to feel comfortable and love my body, especially after the pregnancy and C-Section. Skinny doesn’t necessarily mean healthy and I feel good about my self right now, and I want to set a good example for my son and make sure he grows up in an environment where we have a healthy mind set about our bodies”
Him: I’m so glad that you feel comfortable and you love your body, that is what’s the most important. In such an idiot for bringing it up. Sometimes we say things at parents that we mean to come off a different way and I totally messed up. Thank you so much for calling me and chatting about it. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my back, I’ve been thinking about what I said all weekend. I love you so much”
And then we went on about our days. Thank you for all the help guys.
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: Hello hello!
Thank you to everyone for the advice on the topic! After reading through many helpful comments, and some not so helpful, I was able to compile some great advice and call my dad.
Here’s a run down of how the conversation went:
Me: “hey dad I hope that you’re doing well. I was hoping we could chat about the conversation that happened on my birthday”
Him: “oh yes, thank goodness you’re calling to bring this up. I feel like I shot my self in the foot, I am so sorry.”
Me: “I appreciate your apology and I know what you said came from a place of love. I just wanted to tell you that I have been working really hard to feel comfortable and love my body, especially after the pregnancy and C-Section. Skinny doesn’t necessarily mean healthy and I feel good about my self right now, and I want to set a good example for my son and make sure he grows up in an environment where we have a healthy mind set about our bodies”
Him: I’m so glad that you feel comfortable and you love your body, that is what’s the most important. In such an idiot for bringing it up. Sometimes we say things at parents that we mean to come off a different way and I totally messed up. Thank you so much for calling me and chatting about it. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my back, I’ve been thinking about what I said all weekend. I love you so much”
And then we went on about our days. Thank you for all the help guys.
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To be fair I think Lizzy feels good about her weight as well. Ah well glad it worked out.
But I’m sure you’ll get the validation you sought out here in the comments.
Wow, communication that worked! Well done, I’m sure that conversation wasn’t easy for you.
I’m glad it all worked out. I’m a fan of loving ourselves as we are and working to improve in a healthy way.
I constantly tell people we didn’t get to where we are overnight and changes won’t come overnight. Long term and sustainable changes are good.
I’ve been thru that
It sounds like the comments really made you think about your Dad. He sounds like a very smart man – but you know that.
Holy fucking shit what a fantastic update.
I’m so used to reading about jerks who can’t be accountable for doing hurtful stuff.
This was an absolutely breath of fresh air.
Congrats OP!!!
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that this is our parent’s first time living too, they fuck up. But it seems like you have a pretty awesome dad who cares about you, he just has his own insecurities to deal with.
As soon as he saw you crying, he felt guilty and instead of turning it back around or making excuses, he gave you time. It was clear he didn’t want to bring it up, even to apologize, to avoid hurting you again.
He’ll be a great grandpappy. I wish you guys a long, loving future.
Wow. Really wow. You are way more mature than I am. I am happy for you!
Nice update! He was tone deaf and projecting even after your sister told him not to. I’m sure glad he turned it around and you did a great job communicating your thoughts. I think you have got the hang of communicating with him.
dude i needed to see this. i’ve been avoiding a hard convo with my mom over some similar stuff and this gives me hope it can actually go well. thank you for sharing it really does matter.
I like your dad