TL;DR: I confronted my dad about whether he’ll attend my wedding even if my mom doesn’t. He tried to guilt me into forgiving my sister, but I stood my ground and made it clear that I’ve found peace without her. I told him the decision to come is his, but I won’t be ashamed or silent about my choices. If my parents don’t show, my best friend’s brother—who’s like family to me—will walk me down the aisle. It was hard, but I finally stood up for myself.
Small update: This has been weighing heavily on my mind lately. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I finally texted my dad. I asked him directly if he would come to the wedding even if my mother chooses not to. He called me and started going on about how marriage is a sacred sacrament and how he hopes that by next year, I’ll come to my senses and forgive my sister. The moment he said that, all your comments and advice came flooding back.
I stopped him and said something along the lines of: “Please stop. I need to say this again, even though I’ve said it countless times—I will never forgive her. I don’t think about her, I don’t miss her, and I don’t wonder how she’s doing. Since cutting her off, I’ve found peace. No sudden drama, no emotional chaos—just peace. I won’t give that up. And don’t start with the sacrament talk. Forgiveness is something between me and my priest during confession. That’s not your place to comment on. I’m simply asking: will you be there for me on my wedding day? There will be a seat for both you and mom, but if you choose not to come, that’s okay. If people ask me where Pickles is, I’ll answer truthfully and without hesitation. I’m not ashamed of my decision, even though everyone assumes I am. And if you don’t come and people ask why, I’ll be honest about that too. I will not carry guilt over this.”
He just sat there, frozen. I told him I had to finish drying my hair and hung up. That was over an hour ago, and I haven’t heard anything since. I was shaking as I said it, but I don’t think he could tell. I didn’t cry or even get teary-eyed. It was incredibly hard to stand up to my father—probably the first time I’ve ever truly done it. I’m pretty sure my mom was there too, but she didn’t say a word. Honestly, that might be for the best. Her opinion is the last thing I need right now.
If they choose not to come, my best friend’s big brother—who’s been like a brother to me for years—will walk me down the aisle. He’s shown me more kindness and respect than any blood relative ever has. I won’t be heartbroken if my family doesn’t attend. What really hurts is having to deal with this situation in the first place. I wish it weren’t even a topic.
We’ll see what happens a year from now when the wedding comes. But one thing is certain: Pickles is not invited. That’s a firm boundary I will not budge on. Honestly, I’m just surprised my dad took my mom’s side. I didn’t see that coming.
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: TL;DR: I confronted my dad about whether he’ll attend my wedding even if my mom doesn’t. He tried to guilt me into forgiving my sister, but I stood my ground and made it clear that I’ve found peace without her. I told him the decision to come is his, but I won’t be ashamed or silent about my choices. If my parents don’t show, my best friend’s brother—who’s like family to me—will walk me down the aisle. It was hard, but I finally stood up for myself.
Small update: This has been weighing heavily on my mind lately. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I finally texted my dad. I asked him directly if he would come to the wedding even if my mother chooses not to. He called me and started going on about how marriage is a sacred sacrament and how he hopes that by next year, I’ll come to my senses and forgive my sister. The moment he said that, all your comments and advice came flooding back.
I stopped him and said something along the lines of: “Please stop. I need to say this again, even though I’ve said it countless times—I will never forgive her. I don’t think about her, I don’t miss her, and I don’t wonder how she’s doing. Since cutting her off, I’ve found peace. No sudden drama, no emotional chaos—just peace. I won’t give that up. And don’t start with the sacrament talk. Forgiveness is something between me and my priest during confession. That’s not your place to comment on. I’m simply asking: will you be there for me on my wedding day? There will be a seat for both you and mom, but if you choose not to come, that’s okay. If people ask me where Pickles is, I’ll answer truthfully and without hesitation. I’m not ashamed of my decision, even though everyone assumes I am. And if you don’t come and people ask why, I’ll be honest about that too. I will not carry guilt over this.”
He just sat there, frozen. I told him I had to finish drying my hair and hung up. That was over an hour ago, and I haven’t heard anything since. I was shaking as I said it, but I don’t think he could tell. I didn’t cry or even get teary-eyed. It was incredibly hard to stand up to my father—probably the first time I’ve ever truly done it. I’m pretty sure my mom was there too, but she didn’t say a word. Honestly, that might be for the best. Her opinion is the last thing I need right now.
If they choose not to come, my best friend’s big brother—who’s been like a brother to me for years—will walk me down the aisle. He’s shown me more kindness and respect than any blood relative ever has. I won’t be heartbroken if my family doesn’t attend. What really hurts is having to deal with this situation in the first place. I wish it weren’t even a topic.
We’ll see what happens a year from now when the wedding comes. But one thing is certain: Pickles is not invited. That’s a firm boundary I will not budge on. Honestly, I’m just surprised my dad took my mom’s side. I didn’t see that coming.
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Updateme
I don’t know you, but I am so very proud of you for standing up for yourself.
Also, I noticed that you said you currently live in Germany. As I do too, Catholic weddings (at least in the south where I live) don’t have the American walking down the aisle where the groom awaits the bride being given to him, they usually have the couple walk in together to symbolize the new way they will be starting with this ceremony. I don’t know how far you are in your preparations but maybe this could either be a nice alternative to not need your father or you at least know what a priest might bring up during your consultation.
Best of luck! I hope you have a great wedding day!
Updateme
Great job.