When I wrote my last post I thought I was at rock bottom but I wasn’t even close. I thought the day my wife left me was the worst day of my life. Not even close. Two days ago I was formally served with divorce papers. That was the worse worst day of my life. That’s the update, my wife is making it official now.
I know my marriage ending is my fault. I don’t know why I even cheated on my wife who was the best woman I’ve ever met. I was selfish and I don’t care if anyone calls me names or anything because I already regret ruining my marriage more than anything. You aren’t telling me what I already don’t know and haven’t called myself.
Getting those papers was rock bottom. When I look at them it is the worst regret I have ever felt. I didn’t know my wife had a lawyer yet. (I’m an attorney but not in family law, I work in the Crown Attorney’s Office and I thought I had more time because attorneys from law firms are expensive). Everyone is adamant that none of them are giving my wife money or any help. My wife said she wanted to be self sufficient when she left which was why she got a job first. She said she found a lawyer through a charity for people who are new to the workforce after I didn’t expect to be served papers so soon but she doesn’t want to talk about this further, only about our kids. Every time I look at them now it’s like a hit to my gut.
Even though it’s been a month I’m still not used to any of this. My wife is not living here. My wife has a job now. I don’t get to see my kids every single day. I know everything is my fault and I am the biggest idiot for ruining my marriage. I have the papers to prove it now. It’s official now. I’m going to be divorced.