So little update regarding my last post. I spoke to partner and he doesn’t believe mil did anything wrong, she was just trying to be helpful. She was excited and the breastfeeding comments were just a joke “a little joke” and I need to chill out. Based on this I lost it and told him if he can’t stand up for me or listen to me when I feel or KNOW someone is undermining me he can go live with mil instead. Well he did. He firmly believes I am the problem and nothing I felt was valid and I’m targeting his mother. What the hell do I do with a partner who is siding with their over stepping boundary pushing mother over his own family?
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Couples therapy if you can convince him to go.
I don’t know how to say this without it being harsh. Just know, I don’t see you in the wrong. You’ve done what you’ve needed to do. I’m on your side.
He made his choice, as bad as it hurts. He might be bluffing and planning on coming back. My ex tried to bluff me, then he figured out I meant what I said. Never signed anything so fast, as I did those divorce papers. He has to grow up and see that you are his family that he picked. He should respect you and stand by you. What to do? You just have to take one day at a time. He may smarten up and see your side, he may not. But you come first, not his mother. No one needs to have their MIL ruling their life, even if they have the best MIL. Don’t let him make you feel like you are in the wrong.
I’m angry for you. He should stand up for you. Unless you’re doing something wrong and you aren’t.
You engage two counselors.
A family counselor to help you process your feelings around this issue, and eventually help you transition into a coparenting relationship… and a legal counselor to work out child support and custody, because he’s chosen to be a son instead of being a father and partner to you.
Take all texts, voicemails, and other evidence of the garbage behavior to your legal counselor and let them guide you in how best to protect yourself and your baby from the toxic grandmother. Your former SO is now collatable damage and your relationship with him is DoA, because when he was asked to choose he chose NotYou.
BIG HUGS. He may be bluffing, or he showed his true colors. I would text him and state that if he wants to be a family, come home and we will go to therapy. If he says no, then you have some hard thinking to do.
I’m so sorry that your partner turned out to be a huge mamas boy that doesn’t understand his priorities.
I just read your last post and it made my blood boil. MIL sounds pure evil. Over feeding your baby, not believing you about the cows milk allergy, putting your baby’s health at risk. It all points to her being evil.
If you partner will agree, I would suggest couples counseling. I personally would be concerned seperating from him because then his mother gets unfettered access to your child.
Start documenting all the incidents of MIL hurting your child. Save any texts etc that show her being unhinged. Gather whatever you can and keep it safe. Her behaviour will likely escalate considering your husband isn’t going to say anything to her. If you have enough evidence about her being dangerous to your child, you could fare better if you and your husband separate.