Update on oil decking MIL

If you read my previous post you’ll see I sent my MIL a message stating our boundaries. Before anyone asks why my husband didn’t do it I’ll mention he has an illness where if he’s under stress he gets “attacks”. These attacks cause permanent damage to his senses so it’s important I do this without triggering an attack

I said politely she’s crossed some boundaries. We ask that she’s not in our home when we aren’t. I said there’s no more babysitting or daycare pickup. I also asked she not monopolise my sons time at family events so he has the opportunity to interact with others. One of my major issues is she dotes on my son, acts obsessive about him and acts like his mother. She also ignores my daughter

My husband was ok with the message but felt it was combative. I said it wasn’t, it was polite and stated our boundaries clearly and now she has the opportunity to choose to respect our wishes or not. If she does she’ll still see the kids if not well some grandmother she is.

My husband who likes to avoid conflict wants to invite her over to dinner this week. He says we’ll see what she says and we’ll go from there. I personally don’t see the point. Last time we talked to her she started screaming hysterically and crying. Note she said she didn’t care how upset anyone else was, she’s been crying and that’s what’s important 🙄

As far as I’m concerned I’ve said it now it’s up to her. If it happens I plan on not engaging in an argument and not bringing up specific incidents because I really don’t want to explain/justify etc. At the end of the day she’s not my kids mother and she doesn’t get a say. Is this the right way of going about it? Any tips for this conversation?

It’s my daughter’s bday on Saturday and hubby is worried she won’t come if we don’t talk to her beforehand. I don’t care because she’s not interested in my daughter anyway