So my boyfriend and i have officially decided to go through with getting me out of my parents house. I have had my job saving boxes for me for the week and I’ve been storing them at his house. My parents leave town tomorrow morning and tomorrow night after work and my sister goes to bed my bf and I will start packing everything up. None of my family has any clue that my bf and I signed and paid for the lease on a really nice apartment about 20 mins away from my parents. Both mine and my bf therapist are telling both of us its in my best interest to leave if I want to be able to grow as a person. My friends say that my mom is controlling and im 23 and need to get on with my life. Truthfully while I agree with all of this I feel guilty. I dont plan on cutting off all contact and everything is signed and paid for so there’s no going back now. Am I irrational for feeling guilty about all of this? Or am I a jerl for leaving without saying anything?
UPDATE to AITAH for moving out with out telling my parents?
r/AITAH
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You’re doing the right thing but what if your sister wakes up and hears you? Will she call your parents? You should do this anyway, they have no legal hold on you but think through how you’ll handle it if this happens.
If this didn’t come up already, are you on their phone plan? Do they pay for your school? Are there other expenses such as health insurance they might cut off? If you have bank accounts that they have access to, likely from before you were adult age, they may still be able to access them if you didn’t change accounts. They might take the money so plan and get you money transferred to a separate account. Car payments or car title in their name? Car insurance?
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Almost free! Keep your eyes on your future freedom!
The guilt you are feeling is a mechanism that an abuser programs into your head so that you stay stuck and in their control. Fight it because your life depends on it. It may seem dramatic, hell I know it sounds dramatic, but it is the truth.