As me and my husband decided that me meeting up with her to “clear the air” will put an end to this situation, I went there with my parents.
As i said she was completely beating around the bush, kept pointing out my text was wrong, and that she was hurt totally, everyone in that family kept blaming me.
the text in question :
Hi Ma,
I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind for a while now. I wasn’t comfortable with you giving (husbandname)’s number to (Brother in law)’s friend rachel, and I’d like to explain why.
-
She sent a friend request only to (husbandname) on Instagram. Since (husbandname)’s account is very private, she likely found him through (Brother in law)’s or your following list. She didn’t care to send me a request, which may seem small, but it clearly shows she wanted to connect with him, not with us as a couple. That doesn’t sit right with me.
-
This time she’s gotten (husband)’s number through you, without checking with me or even including me. That feels like a boundary being crossed and makes me feel disrespected in my own relationship.
-
The question she had about the Paris weather is easily something she could Google. So reaching out for something that basic, just feels unnecessary and avoidable.
I hope you understand where I’m coming from. It’s not about insecurity — it’s about feeling like my space and role as (husbandname)’s wife are being overlooked. I want to feel respected and supported, especially by family.
On top of that her so called “brother” not blood related (just someone who’s been with her for years and she called him brother) started shouting at me at the top of his voice that she(my mil) doesn’t need permission to give my husbands number to someone bc she’s the mom and something like that, he was directly yelling at me
so my mom and dad told him to lower his tone while speaking to me , and not to raise the voice to threaten their daughter
again he started yelling at my mom “what strong words? she’s like my daughter and i have rights to talk to her that way”
my mom and dad stood up to leave and that’s when my mil says “wouldn’t you raise the voice to discipline your daughter” my mom said no she never did that
the conversation kept going, my mil asked me to point she did to hurt me, zero accountability, she’s got justifications for everything, no regret no remorse, just felt like talking to a brick wall
By the time we were leaving they just made it look like we’re all one family and that things like this will happen, end of the day i’m their daughter bullshit
what i understood is that she’s also manipulating my husband this way , we have come to an understanding that we should just discuss it ourselves and never involve them in our business anymore, just keeping them in low contact as i can’t stand the tantrum she throws when i go no contact
any advice on how to handle this situation better is appreciated
Comments
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Is she sleeping with her “so called brother”? He seems very defensive of her.
Is your husband worth the drama?