So, I posted earlier about how my in-laws invited themselves over to “drop-off food.” And then my husband responded to them to not come today, come tomorrow because he was not going to be there (wow, amazing). They replied, “no, we want to come today and can just drop it off.” I was contact napping with the baby because that’s the only way he sleeps. JNMIL calls me and leaves me a voicemail about dropping the food off and I texted back and said to leave it outside. They said, “ok, be there in 15 minutes.” Then, ofc my baby wakes up. My husband let them in and then they made themselves at home. I was already downstairs bc I was under the guise that they were going to leave the food (I did not interface with my husband bc he was in a work meeting at the time). Then, they stay. My JNMIL wants to hold the baby and he’s fussy bc he only napped for a short while and he’s probably teething. Idk. So, they tell him to smile for the camera, the camera, look at the camera, get the photo, blah, blah, blah. Also they are MAGA. I work (yes I work took a year off of leave) in education and they kept going on about our president and all the wonderful things and I snapped on them. Also my baby decided to try and launch himself onto a magnet on the fridge while I was holding him and JNMIL reached out like she was going to take care of him and comfort him (the baby was fine). JNMIL makes herself seem important and tries to comfort the baby when really that isn’t her place or job whenever I am literally right there. I just told them to leave and they left. My husband left his parents alone there with the baby and went back to working. I am so fed up and honestly I want to scream or go to a rage room but I cannot because the baby is on me, yet again. I think I should just go back to work and put the baby in daycare because at least I feel like I would have more control over this situation. It’s so hard. And ofc my husband left right after they left to tend to an errand that he had to do leaving me here yet again with the baby. Tonight I am going to leave him with the monitor and go out for a drive or a late night Target run. He cannot console the baby at all but I just need time by myself to pour into myself and feel somewhat human again. No one cares at all except my son and my freaking dog. Everyone else just sees me as the incubator.
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Other posts from /u/BoatLoose4181:
I’ve given up, 4 hours ago
“I think he wants my boobs!”, 4 days ago
Annoyed after a visit with JNMIL, 1 week ago
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Hugs! I wish I could come swoop you away for a day to sleep and eat and take care of no one but yourself. Talk to your husband and lay ground rules. If he can’t follow them, take the baby and lock yourself in your room while they’re there. Hopefully they get the message they’re not welcome.
When he lets them in, put baby in a carrier and go out. Wear him around Target, the park, whatever and get away from that bunch of jerks. Baby will be on you without you being stuck on the couch/bed and you won’t have Mighty Mouse MIL [here she comes to save the day- in her own delusions] on top of the two of you.
That sucks you feel like you gotta go back to work and put him in daycare just to feel control. Sounds like MIL doesn’t respect your boundaries. If you’re not being heard, write it down. Use CHATGPD need be. One way or another she gonna hear you! If you need to get some distance, your husband should absolutely nip this kind of behavior. BREATH. You got this mama!
Take that drive. Wander around Target. Eat junk food in your car in a parking lot. Listen to some tunes.
I’ve been reading your other posts, and good lord your husband is being a BUM. You are being too nice to your husband and your inlaws and they are all steamrolling you. Good on you for telling them to leave! Keep that energy going and next time tell them they aren’t welcome. Make it as unpleasant and uncomfortable for them to invade your personal space and time as it is for you.
I think returning to work and setting up LO in daycare is a fine idea. It sounds like it will help you feel more like yourself again, and it might be good to set aside funds in case things don’t improve.
So.
They bulldozed your boundary about not wanting to visit and forced it anyway.
Your thoughtless and spineless husband let them RIGHT IN when he should have made it clear that this was a drop-off like they said and NOT a visit.
He LEFT YOU ALONE WITH THEM to go tend to whatever the hell who gives a damn. HE NEVER SHOULD HAVE ANSWERED THE DOOR. He said no, and you said no. So it should have stayed NO.
They got EXACTLY what they wanted and you are pissed off and even more exhausted than before because your wishes were completely ignored.
You have a severe husband problem, and in laws who need consequences for not listening.