It was a peaceful couple of weeks, but today felt like an escalation.
So in my previous post, I talked about JNMIL asking DH what to do with the wedding dress she bought for me. Long story short, DH told her it’s her issue as she bought it.
This morning I get a text from DH saying that his parents dropped off my dress on our porch and texted him about it. The text reads as such:
“Hi DH. We are in town today for a doctor’s appointment so we just stopped by and put your wedding clothes on your porch. “Those” are yours. We considered what you said and we decided this is what we’d like to do with them. They were sincerely given with kindness and generosity, simply to help you out, and with no strings attached. They have no sentimental value to us. They are a symbol of your special day. So here they are for you to deal with as you see fit.
Whenever you’re ready to talk, we are ready to listen. Hope that’s mutual and that you’re looking for resolution over punishment. Either way, we wish you a happy life together. And we will assume you wish the same for us.”
We both know this is bs. I immediately clocked it as disrespectful that they would show up without warning with an item we already told them was their responsibility. At this point, it feels like we have no control over them visiting without a heads up. I’m not sure how we can get them to stop contacting DH with these invitations to “talk” when every talk ends up with his mom blowing up at him for talking about how he feels. DH does not want to close all contact with them, nor doesn’t seem like he wants to directly tell them to leave him alone.
But I guess in a venting way, I’m so tired. I want to tell them off, but I know that they’ll definitely run miles with my response and blow things up even more.
What do I even do at this point? We’re already distant from them. I’m NC and I don’t exist in their minds, that much is given. But DH wants to respond to their text, telling them that the last time they spoke it blew up in his face. Would telling them that even change anything? Or get them to back off? How do you guys get your JNMILs to back off? We are sick of her.