TL;DR: how to deal with a very shy boyfriend which is starting to affect me.
My(32F) boyfriend(35M) of 5 years is very shy, I think the way he converses is due to having been shy from when he was young. He doesn’t engage in conversation and will often answer in one word responses. He doesn’t share stories about himself. when he is around almost anyone he is shy. He can only be like this with a couple of people but extremely so in larger groups. I feel I have to cover for him and protect him. he knows this is him but he says there is no way to improve it. Whereas I feel simple conversational skills can help you in these situations. He also doesn’t handle criticism well so I often have to say things in an extremely sensitive way and it doesn’t get us anywhere when I just want to help him be able to have conversations a bit more. What can I do to help him and help us because unfortunately it does affect me too. To the point where I find it easier to go places without him because I can truly be myself without worrying about him and watching out for him.
We are great when we are alone or with him immediate family. He grew up with a very small family.
He also never checks on me because obviously he’s also not feeling comfortable so sometimes I feel as if I am alone or better off alone in these situations.
Comments
He’s told you point-blank that this is who he is and he doesn’t want to change. It’s not okay for you to try to get someone to change, even if it’s for the better, if they have very clearly told you no. Respect his decision to stay this way, but absolutely reconsider if this is the type of relationship or partner you want.