So I’m (23M) an Indian American guy who was born and raised in the East Coast. I didn’t date throughout middle and high school as I went to a boys’ school and seemed more into cars and other nerdy persuits.
In college, I went to a T20 university with a predominantly white student body. I ended up dating a few white girls during my time there — not because of any preference, but simply because that’s who I met and connected with. I also asked out a few brown girls over the years, but things didn’t pan out.
Fast forward to post-grad life: I moved to a big city, and for the past year, I’ve been dating my current girlfriend (she’s white). We love each other, and things are going great.
A few months ago, I posted a photo of us on Instagram. Somehow, it made its way back to old high school and college circles, including some Indian group chats from my university. Someone I know sent me screenshots from those chats where people were calling me a “self-hating Indian” and “white worshipper,” among other things.
Honestly, this threw me off. I’ve never had a racial preference. I’ve always just dated people I vibe with. But now I’m being judged by people from my own community for who I’m with — and it sucks. My close friends told me to ignore it, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth.
I wanted to share this here and ask: has anyone else dealt with this kind of criticism from within their own community? How do you deal with these assumptions and negativity?
Comments
Ignore them. You do you boo!
Some people are A-holes. There is nothing to do beyond blocking them on social media. Engaging in refuting this sort of accusation only fires people like this up.
So dumb. You’re not “self-hating” for dating someone with a different amount of melanin than you 🤦🏻♂️
You connected with a person who you love. Your opinions about her & her personality is what matters. Everyone else can fuck off, imo.
My dear, you are just dating another human being in a different shade. Block the AHs and be happy.
Try joining the r/interracialdating sub. Those of us who date outside of our race are very familiar with this kind of invidious racism. You’re not alone. Please ignore racists.
I feel like this is normalized in most cultures. I hear African Americans talk about it for both genders, and it’s common in many Asian communities as far as I can tell. Now with the older generations, but still. Write families can be this way too, but not as loudly I don’t think? F em!
It’s racism on the part of your community. Ignore them. Hold your head high.
Actually they are the self hating idiots cause they dont think is possible and normal to like someone from a different race. At the end we are just people all of us no matter of color religion or nationality. In my opinion tell them to fx off
Don’t let comments like this get under your skin. Honestly, just don’t share your personal life on social media. People will always look for ways to knock you down. I date outside of my race as well and have heard some comments from others over it. Keeping my personal life private helps prevent anyone from digging into my life and starting problems. You like who you like and no one should dictate that for you.
I haven’t personally been accused of that, but i have dated men outside of my race. Honestly, screw anyone who thinks that! Dating other ethnicities does not imply hating your own. I’m attracted to a variety of people and ethnicity is not an important factor if we have a connection and mutual core values.
Who gives a fuck. Im navajo i dont like my own people. They are being petty and probably key board warriors. My family is mostly comprised with women. I have half black, Mexican, white, Cuban, Asian nephews and nieces. My sisters date outside our tribe because the gene pool is getting smaller. There’s a reason why us navajo dont marry into clans. Its to avoid incest. Avoid bring birth defected kids into this world. When the navajo came to the 4 corners area we found what was left of the anasazi people. The inbreeding collapsed them. The only ones left are the hopi. Having mixed kids they are stronger and healthier than most full blood natives. I dont like dating navajo woman because they are just too much. The drama and baggage. The mother in law expects you to bend the knee to her. They feel so entitled because the navajo traditional way is matriarchal. Native women aren’t the smartest either. they always end up missing or kidnapped or murdered. Make better choices. Like this one chick ok i thought it was my cousin. I pulled over and picked her up. She wanted to go with me to Flagstaff. She said can I stay with you? I said im sleeping in my vehicle. I can sleep here too. I looked at her how old are you? She said 26. She looked more like 19. I said im sorry I can take you to Flagstaff but you cant stay with me. If you go missing they are going to look at me. She said fine then drop me off behind bashas I can sleep there tonight. I asked dont you have family you can stay at? It was in dilkon. I was pretty sure she was a run away. They do stupid shit like that all the time. My nieces stole their grandma car and was driving around. She didn’t want to be at home because it was toxic as fuck.
I get that this group is for giving advice but 99% of the “asking for advice” is just WTF. As a species – especially one with so much potential to be more than egotistically and emotionally immature as we are – the lot of us are just whiney little bitches. STOP GIVING A FUCK WHAT ANYONE SAYS ABOUT YOU OR TO YOU ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT THAT DOESN’T EVEN INVOLVE THEM. These fucking people need to mind their own fucking business, for one. But most importantly – STOP GIVING THEM THE POWER TO GET YOU IN YOUR HEAD and fucked about shit.
They are small minded and ignorant. I wouldn’t waste any thought on them
Ignore them. They are racists, and their opinions are not worth listening to.