Hey Reddit,
Just looking for some honest perspective. I was in a relationship that felt real and yet I’m sitting here now completely thrown off. It’s been hard to even process it, let alone move on.
I met this girl earlier this year, we connected over Instagram, started texting, then talking daily. Chemistry was instant. It escalated pretty fast and we took a trip together, it turned romantic, and it became official shortly after.
It was long-distance from the beginning, but we made it work. She even flew down once just to see me for a day. I visited her for a few weeks too. I’d never felt this kind of emotional connection before. She was sweet, supportive, thoughtful — it genuinely felt like she was my best friend. And we had even planned to marry and shit. But now, looking back… it’s like none of it was real.
I visited her recently during my vacation. She knew I was coming, even offered to help with the cost, so nothing was a surprise. On the day I landed, we’re in the car and a message pops up from her ex. She quickly said “he messaged, I didn’t open it” and brushed it off.
But my gut kicked in. I asked to see her phone and she refused. Eventually I called her close friend (whose number I had), and that friend casually said she didn’t even know we were dating. Said she thought we just “talked and liked each other.” Also told me my girlfriend hadn’t really moved on from someone she used to be with.
After a bit more back and forth, my girlfriend finally showed me some of the messages. I saw her flirting with that guy and I couldn’t read any longer. I also saw 2 missed calls from another guy she had once said liked her — from that day itself. She said she didn’t pick up, but strange why he would call if you don’t pick up.
Obviously, I broke up. And next day, I ended up contacting her ex.
Turns out they had broken up once a year ago but were together since then. (I started dating her 6 months ago.) She had been dating both of us at the same time. I was the side relationship. That guy didn’t even live in the country, and still she stayed emotionally loyal to him. After I told him everything, he blocked her instantly and he broke up too.
And then… yeah, I saw her again. We met one more time and we ended up sleeping together. Twice. Was it stupid? Definitely. I was emotionally exhausted, confused, still weirdly attached. It felt like I needed it for closure but even after, there was no clarity. Just silence.
Since I left the city, she hasn’t messaged me once. Nothing. Cold as ice.
What’s messing with my head the most is:
• She was so good to me during the relationship. Thoughtful, caring, emotionally available — like, she made me feel safe. So how could someone so “good” betray me like that?
• Even after getting caught, she didn’t really try to win me back. She said something like “losing you will be my punishment” and left it there. She asked me twice if there was anything she could do to fix it, but when I said no… that was it. No fight. No real effort. Just… gone.
And the most twisted part? A small part of me still wonders if she’ll come back. I hate that.
TL;DR:
Fell hard for someone I thought was special. Turned out she never stopped dating her long-distance ex — I was the side guy for months. Exposed it, everything blew up, she ghosted. Still trying to make sense of it all. Why didn’t she even fight for us? Why am I still stuck on her? How do I move on from something that felt so real — even if it was built on lies?