Warning: wall of text
Hey everyone, I’m feeling super weird about this and could really use some outside perspective.
My boyfriend24M and I24F have always been pretty open about our pasts—like, we’ve talked in detail about exes, hookups, all of it. There’s one girl in particular who he lost his virginity to, and until recently she was still on his IG. I didn’t stress about it because he’s never given me a reason to doubt him.
A while back we were scrolling through his phone together and I saw she’d posted a story. I casually pointed it out, he said “why is she still on here?” and immediately unfollowed her in front of me. Cool, that was that—no drama, I moved on.
Fast forward to today: he was sending a snap and accidentally tapped the group-send thing, which shows all the people he normally snaps. I glanced up and saw me and that same girl in the list, along with a few other people. I asked him quietly and directly, “Hey, do you ever actually send her snaps?” He snapped back at me that he has no idea how her name ended up there and that I was making a big deal over nothing. Then he got irritated with me for even asking.
I know it sounds trivial, but this threw me off—especially since on my birthday, my ex rang me up and we caught up for like 15 minutes. I told my boyfriend about it right away and he grilled me with questions and acted really annoyed that I even talked to him that long.
He’s not a controlling or toxic guy—he’s usually super sweet and supportive. But both times he reacted by getting upset at me for being open. I’m left wondering: was it wrong of me to bring this up? Should I have just shrugged it off? Or is it fair for me to feel uncomfortable and ask when something feels off?
Thanks for any insight. I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or if this is something I should address.
TL;DR: I asked my boyfriend about a girl from his past showing up in his Snapchat group. He got annoyed, even though he questioned me when my ex called. Not sure if I overreacted or if my concern was fair
Comments
As I said on your last post from 5 minutes ago before you deleted it:
Both of you sound too immature to be in a relationship if you’re “confronting” the other person about ridiculous things.
I don’t understand how you’re allowed to call your ex for 15 minutes and he gets accused for having that girl on social media with no real proof that they’re still in contact
Question, are you both 24 or 14? Because this is high school level of petty, why do either of you care if the other occasionally message an ex unless you don’t trust each other not to jump genitals first into the ex.
Both of you need to chill out and get some perspective
Babe you sound more toxic
So who cares if he keeps in touch with an ex? You’re being controlling and annoying.
You guys should break up and focus on maturing
You guys need to set boundaries around opposite sex friendships/relations, me and my boyfriend did this and it’s great. I’m afraid it is a little backwards for you to be on the phone with your ex though and not understand your boyfriend’s feelings about that.
Neither of you should be dating anyone.
Unfriending someone won’t stop them from showing up on the recommendation for people to include for snaps. Only way to guarantee they won’t show up is to block the person.
If he used to snap her, even years ago, she could still show up.
Maybe he wants it back?