Hi, I’m Latina and in my country the punishments that used to be common in the past were the classic chancla (which fortunately is now more of a thing of the past). However, the idea of leaving a child without food, while I suppose it did or does happen in some households, has never been socially accepted. Maybe due to the region’s food insecurity, it carries connotations of abuse, and I would even say it would be more frown upon than hitting a child.
I’ve seen in some movies, especially older ones, that children were punished by being sent to bed without dinner. Was this really (or is it) a thing?
Comments
I am 50 and my parents never did that. I can’t recall anyone else doing that.
Maybe a long time ago but I never had it happen growing up and don’t know anyone who was punished that way. Occasionally dessert or snacks were taken away but never full meals.
If my kid is hungry, they eat. Denying food as a punishment is fucked up IMO.
No. Getting no snack after dinner was common though.
This did not happen to me, so I can’t speak from personal experience. I would say this would happen more if the child was complaining about what was for dinner and refusing to eat it. “Fine, then I guess you’ll just have to go to bed without eating” type of situation.
I think this is really dependent on who your parents were. I think it’s definitely not common now due to parenting getting more relaxed as a trend but I can tell you I 100% got sent to bed without dinner many nights throughout my childhood. I definitely wouldn’t find it strange or foreign, not that I agree with it. I’m 25 btw, so Gen Z.
Edit: I’m not talking about “I didn’t like the food and no other options were presented”, I mean I would be sent to bed without dinner for talking back or something. I’m shocked reading these other comments that other people have never heard of this happening to anyone they know.
Yes but same with making kids sit there until they finished their dinner.
Like if kids were seen as being disruptive or disrespectful you get sent away from the table
I’ve heard of it happening to people, but it’s not something that’s considered acceptable in mainstream society.
In my house it sure was, but that was the 1980’s and 1990’s and my father was an abusive POS.
My grandparents did that to their kids but it wasn’t common from my understanding.
That’s not really a common thing. The only time I’ve seen anything close to that was if kids refused to eat what was cooked so the parents told them “find something else to eat or go to bed hungry”.
Happened to me a few times as a kid but I grew up in an abusive home so I’d assume that it’s not a common thing to happen, and would only intentionally happen in very severe cases.
My mother did this and honestly we’re not that close.
When I was a child, if I refused to eat the dinner provided to me, there were times I went to bed hungry because my parents wouldn’t make me something else. I think that’s different than not providing food in the first place though.
My parents never sent me to bed without food as a punishment, however they did say if I didn’t want to eat what was prepared then I would have to go to bed hungry, but it was my choice.
I’m in my 60s. Some kids got this…or “wait til your father gets home!”, but my parents did neither. If we went to bed hungry it was because we chose to (it was dinner or nothing, and if dinner was gross we coukd choose not to eat it (it only happened once) I just had veggies and bread and skipped the main protein.
Dinner? No
Ancillary food items like snacks or desserts? Yes
Sometimes, occasionally it was sent to bed with bread and water. Either way you weren’t supposed to leave your room until Mom and Dad came to talk to you.
Gen X here, I was never sent to bed without dinner, nor do I remember any of my friends saying it happened to them, not that we would be talking about how we were punished very often.
Twice in my life I was made to stay at the table and finish a meal I did not want to eat. To this day more than 40 years after those two incidents I still will not eat those foods that I didn’t want to eat at those particular meals. Both foods were foods I had eaten and liked (or at least tolerated) before but for whatever reason I did not want them on those occasions. My parents making me sit at the table and finish the meal was just as out of character as me refusing to eat something was.
No dinner wasn’t a punishment. Max I and was if I didn’t like what we had for dinner I could eat bread and butter. And trust me I ate that sometimes over some meals which I still as an adult don’t like lol.
Not a common thing.
As others have said, the child being forced to stay at the table until everything is eaten or not getting some kind of snack/dessert after dinner might happen the most. I would say the latter is the most common.
I’m 51 and the only time I or anybody I knew “went to bed without dinner” was when our parents played the “You’ll eat what’s on your plate or you wont eat” card. In those cases we had food available to us and if we went to bed hungry, it was our own choice because we were being stubborn little A-Holes.
I’m in my 40s, this definitely happened in my household when I was a kid. I never did it to my own kids.
It was a thing in my house. I got send to bed without dinner a few times.
The other thing that was the norm was dinner was what was put on the table. if you didn’t like it you didn’t have to eat it but you couldn’t eat anything else either. You ate what you were served or you went hungry.
In my house it wasn’t really because of punishment. Like if we did bad in school they weren’t going to send us to bed without dinner or something like that. But if we didn’t like what we were having for dinner, it was a “you don’t have to eat it but you’re not getting anything else and go to your room/bed” situation. This eventually came a few years after trying to force to eat what was there and them deciding it was a lot easier on everyone to just have me not eat it. And I know people say “well parent shouldn’t have to make a separate dinner” or something like that, but I don’t think the parent has to let the kid fix themselves a sandwich or something. There were foods that I wouldn’t eat, that they knew I wouldn’t eat when they were cooking the meal. If you straight up know that a kid doesn’t eat something, I don’t know as a parent why you would make it for dinner and then act like the kid is the problem for not eating it and not have any alternative.
I heard of this happening growing up, which was quite a while ago (I’m Gen-X) but my parents never did it and I never really knew anyone who’s did. I might definitely have gotten dessert taken away if I was bad but not dinner.
No. Maybe dessert, although I’ve never done that, but never dinner.
It happened to me, but my mom always brought me food up in my room an hour or so after dinner.
I’m 62, had 3 older siblings and this never happened in our house. No tv or getting grounded, yes. But we were always fed. I never heard of this happening to anyone I knew either.
It was a very common punishment in my household and the religion we were part of, but it is widely considered to be child abuse. Since we weren’t allowed to eat breakfast, I could count on maybe one meal per day (school lunch)
My parents did this.
I would never withhold food as a punishment. That is a quick way to create an eating disorder or at least an unhealthy relationship with food. My parents never did this, and I’m quite sure my grandmother never did it to my mom.
It was usually the opposite, with the punishment being you had to eat all the horrible food with the phrase “you can’t leave the table until you finish your plate” being tossed around
It was threatened once to my older sister. I think my parents calmed down and realized that was not appropriate, and they never did it again.
I would never not feed my son. In fact I think making him eat more would be a more effective punishment because he’s an annoying picky eater.
I will absolutely threaten to send him to bed with no dessert if he is being a little shit.
I went to daycare with a kid whose parents did that. It never happened to me thankfully. Food is a basic need and withholding it from children is neglect/abuse.
If my kids refuse to eat dinner that they requested, I sure as hell ain’t making a new one.
My kids are stubborn so they have chosen to go to bed hungry a few times.
My parents never used food deprivation as a punishment, but it definitely happened to some kids. I would consider it child abuse to deprive a hungry child of dinner, and I would hope most sane people would believe the same.
My parents only did that if I refused whatever they made for dinner and threw a fit about it, i think? But it didn’t happen often and it wasn’t hard to get access to snacks and stuff so I was never truly hungry
Yes in the past it was common. But I don’t think it is now.
Only happened to me once when I was little. I threw a fit at a restaurant and played with my food instead of eating it, causing a mess. My parents took me out of the restaurant and took turns eating by themselves. I wanted to play more than eat so I didn’t get dinner that night. Never had the issue again and my parents never held food from me again.
It was a popular punishment with my grandparents, but they’re british so not sure how well that translates. They’re a very proper sort. If you didn’t like their food, you’d have two choices, don’t eat it and you won’t get anything else, or, and this was more popular, force you to sit at the table until you’ve finished eating it, even if they gave you more food than a child could reasonably eat, understandably leading to some disordered eating conditions later in life
It happened. Generally, it was a case of the child being disruptive during dinner and not really eating anyway.
Dessert maybe. Because that was an after dinner treat. But, my parents never withheld actual dinner.
My parents threatened it a couple times, but never followed through. I’m not sure if they ever intended to actually do it, or if they knew that just the thought of it was enough to keep us in line.
Common enough for dinner time infractions….
Eg… We make beef roast for dinner… Kid #2 has a screaming fit because they want chicken nuggets…. You can eat what you’re served or go to bed without….
Maybe a long time ago, but denying children food as a punishment is generally considered abusive these days.
Spankings are still used, although they’re less popular and generally less extreme than they used to be, and frowned upon by some.
Grounding, when children are restricted to home or to their bedroom, or taking away access to phones, computers, the TV, etc. are the typical punishments.
My parents did this to me a few times when I was extraordinarily bad, but they always brought me a little something after I had some time to reflect
My parents did it to me on occasion when I really f’d up but it wasn’t common. It usually coincided with a spanking or being grounded which only happened when I behaved like a real asshole and broke a rule or two that I clearly knew better than to break.
Having said that, we always had plenty of food… 3 meals a day plus snacks and were never starving so missing a meal once in a blue moon wasn’t going to physically harm us.
I can understand no snack after dinner if the kid is being bad (I just did this two nights ago to my son). But I would never let him go hungry and not eat dinner. Some parents suck.
My parents weaponized food a lot but after many years of therapy I have learned that is in fact abusive.
Yes. It was big in the 60s/70s.
There was a guy named Dr Spock who pushed a bunch of horrible parenting techniques (although they were probably better than ones who came before).
I was a picky eater, so generally my punishment was to sit at the table until I finished whatever monstrosity my mother concocted that night, or until I passed out in the chair. And if I didn’t eat it, I’d be served it for breakfast too. I got real good at slyly giving my food to the dog or hiding it in my pockets wrapped in a napkin. Not exactly sent to bed without food, but the result was typically the same.
I’m 70. I never knew of anyone doing that in real life. They would just beat our butts or lecture us if we misbehaved and then call us to the table for supper.
Sometimes extra chores were assigned as we got older instead.
We never got that. We just got beat.
I’m in my early 60s and I was never sent to bed without dinner not do i know anyone who was. I was spanked a few times when I was little.
Yes. My parents did it to me all the time.
I’m Puerto Rican and I think having kids not whooped or spanked is considered more of Anglo American than a Latin American thing. I know in our culture hitting is common, same with yours and the chancla. 🩴
For us that’s the last resort when we’re at the table and our son is determined to keep the argument going and won’t quit. He’s given warnings to knock it off and eat but if he’s determined to keep smarting off and picking fights instead of eating then he can be done.
Never in my house! I was hungry enough as a child (food insecurity) so they’d never use it as a punishment
90s kid. If I got in trouble I’d get both the belt and sent to bed without dinner.
I’d stash snacks or fruit from school in my room just in case, because I’d get in trouble for things as simple as getting a C on a quiz or having the wrong “tone” when answering my parents.
I’ve certainly heard of it, but I think of it as a very old-fashioned punishment, far more old-fashioned than things like spanking. It’s something that I associate with the eras before World War II.
Happened regularly in my house growing up. Usually, it was because I refused to eat the dinner my mom made, so it was either eat it or go to bed without dinner, and I obviously picked to go to bed without dinner.
As a punishment for something not related to refusing dinner? No, unless the parent was abusive in other ways too. But I knew a lot of poorer parents who would do this, but more out of necessity than actual anger. Like they didn’t have enough other food for the child to not eat that particular meal.
Definitely not in my family, and I don’t think I’ve heard of this happening to anyone I know either.
I was never sent to bed without dinner
If I refused to eat what my mom cooked, I could eat a PBnJ sandwich instead. If I refused to eat that, I went to bed hungry and it was my choice.
I only chose to not eat once that I can recall.
Never did that again
My mom was big on choices. PBnJ was always an option as it was cheap and I got them for lunch a lot…so she knew I liked them
But she also knew I was just being a typically turdy kid when I complained about food. So she gave me the choice to expand my pallet or just eat peanut butter on the regular
My parents never punished me with no food
My punishments resulted in my toys being taken away
Like one time I lied about something pretty significant. I was in 2nd grade I think
I came home and my room was empty except for a bed, a desk, a lamp, and a stack of books
All my toys, all my posters, everything else was boxed up and in the attic. And I had to earn them back by reading all the books my mom left me and staying in room doing nothing but my homework and reading.
I was always a voracious reader so it wasn’t a terrible punishment, but it corrected my lying because I missed my toys and my posters…as well as my radio
It happened to me once, but I have to add a little context. I was 11 and it was dinner time, but I wanted to go out and play football with my friends. My dad said I could but if I made that choice, I wouldn’t be allowed to eat dinner when I returned. I said that was fine. He asked if I was sure. I said I was. Of course, I said that thinking he would relent when I came back hungry. But he didn’t and I cried my eyes out when I went to bed hungry that night. And I guess you could say I learned my lesson because I never tested him like that again!
So you could argue it was less punishment so much as “I let you choose and choices really do have consequences”.
My parents were the “you’re not getting up until you finish everything on your plate” kinda parents. Which in itself sucked, I remember being full but forcefeeding myself peas because they made me sit there for 6 hours one time. Bedtime be dammed, I was also 6 at the time.
My kids dont go to bed hungry, but they have a choice. Eat what you can of dinner, or if you refuse, then they can choose a peanut butter sandwich (which they love). If they refuse that as well, then I guess no dinner? But it’s never come to that. They always choose one or the other.
No. We could be denied dessert or something but never the main dinner. My little brother was also a super picky eater growing up and the motto was, “if you don’t like what I’m cooking, then you can make something yourself or go hungry” to which my brother would usually suck it up and eat what was on his plate. 90s Gen Z babies for reference
Long, long ago (think “this was already really rare by the 1950s), but in practice it was frequently more about social isolation than about not eating. So the child would be given their meal on a tray, or if they were extra specially naughty something simple like bread and milk, but not allowed to sit at the table like the other family members.
Wasn’t a thing in my household but I wouldn’t call it unheard of as a punishment – at least if used rarely.
As for my household:
Being told I had to eat some part of the meal I didn’t want (usually vegetables) or I wouldn’t be allowed to have dessert – sure. Same with having dessert taken away for misbehavior.
But pretty much never in the literal sense of being sent to bed hungry.
I’m 40. Never, and I would never do it to my kids. There are appropriate punishments for bad behavior, but withholding food is not one of them.
Withholding dessert? Sure. Basic nutrition? No.
I was sent to bed (by my father) without dinner once. I don’t remember why, but I remember my mom brought me a sandwich. That’s the only time I remember it happening. ETA I think I was six or seven.
It’s an old fashioned punishment. The worst that ever happened when I was a kid was being sent to bed without dessert.
Not really but probably because of the movies it was a vague threat that all kids knew about
I always thought it seemed crazy. I was actually talking to a coworker, though, and it happened to her. (I think, or maybe her kids I don’t exactly remember and I’m not gonna ask!)
It was threatened in my family once or twice
No, that would be considered abuse. I’m almost 60, and my parents never sent me to bed hungry, nor did I punish my children in this manner. Honestly, I have never known anyone who was forced to go to bed without dinner.
Maybe way way in the past. I’m 52 and this never happened for me & as far as I know, not for my friend’s I was close to and spent a lot of time at their house. I think maybe it was more common with the Boomer generation.
When I was a kid my parents did this a few times (usually it was LIVER!)
I’m in my 60s and was never punished in that manner. I never heard of it happening to anyone I knew, either.
I was sent to bed without dinner like… once as a child before my dad started questioning the parenting he received and whether or not it was “good”. About the same time spanking went away. I don’t blame my dad at all, but I think seeing his kid cry after he laid hands on them really put into perspective how much traditional “discipline” for children is full on abuse.
That’s pretty outdated nowadays.
No treat or candy or whatever is more common.
Yes, especially if I hated what was for dinner. It was eat it or go hungry.
Mostly, it was just if I got in trouble, though, sent to bed with no dinner.
I am 32 and my father did this. I didn’t clean my room so he sent me to bed without dinner. I snuck down at midnight and made myself a sandwich. Still didn’t clean my room either.
This is a thing that was often threatened, but never done in my family. It was like they were saying “stop that or you will be in trouble in different words ” because we knew we might have to go to our room, but we would end up getting fed.
The only time I went to bed hungry was when my parents made wilted spinach salad for dinner. Frsaking gross ass 90s food.
I don’t think it’s common, but it occurs. I think I was sent to my room without supper a handful of times.
My mom punished us by making us eat a plain baloney sandwich for dinner instead of her delicious Korean food😭
No, that’s child abuse.
I was such a picky eater that would not have been a punishment and I would have acted up if my parents ever sent me to bed without dinner.
Are you kidding, I have a hard enough time getting my kids to eat their dinner in the first place. Sending them to bed without dinner would be a reward.
Yes
I’m 60ish and I was never sent to bed without supper. Neither were my friends. Being grounded was the usual punishment- at home, no friends or phone access and no family outings.
This happened to me a lot. “Food is a privilege” my mom used to say. Yes, I do have issues with food and have had to spend time in eating disorder recovery. How did you know?
I definitely know people this happened to. Their parents were abusers and they (the abused) still have issues with food to this day.
I’m in my mid 40s, for reference.
Yes it happened. Those that say no, awesome for you but it’s definitely not just a “movie” thing
Oh my goodness. Here in S. TX the fear of getting the chancla abuse is very alive. I’m so glad you are seeing it less.