I left my husband and moved in with my mom 7 hours away (with our 3 kids) from my husband because of reasons I don’t really care to share on here. So we’ve been separated figuring out if we can work things out or not.
I’ve been gone 2 months. I told him I’m not coming back and that living away from my family and by his family is insanely isolating and lonely and his family hates me no matter the effort I put it. I am treated so poorly, I am not included in anything. Everyone talks about me behind my back. I was feeling like I was going crazy, I had no outlets. No where to go. I’d be in the house for days and it was affecting me mentally and how I parented my kids. I was scheduling appointments with psychiatrists because I thought I was insane. I was already on medication for PPD but it felt like it wasn’t enough. Our kids are 3, 2 and 7 months. I had no support system.
Well a couple days ago I was trying to find out if my MIL was texting me while drunk because she never texts me and she was being social, which I appreciate, I’d love to have a friendly convo with her. But it seems like the only times she does that is when she is drunk. So I asked my husband “is your mom texting you right now? Do you think she’s drunk?” He sent me a screen recording of all the messages she sent him, without reading them through first. And she has some things to say to him about marriage, moving, and me.
How would you respond if your MIL spoke about you this way?
“Sunny life seems calm but you got to be with your kids!
She’s a great Mom but they need you too! It sucks we gotta swallow thus marriage bullshit! But it’s life!!”
“I’m sure it’s the best! We aren’t equipped to handle her! Love u sunny! You do what u have to do!”
“I hate it cuz you’re going to be at her mercy with her brother! You earned your shit in the (place we live)! It’s So calm, u must behave and no voice!! Your job depends on it! Damn Sunny! U gotta one day when the time right talk to (my brother) and make sure he knows the difference between family and work!!”
These were the ones that hurt me the most. But there was so much more. About how she’s only with her husband because she doesn’t have to work and her MIL only charges her 900 in rent a month and she hates her husband, but she sticks around in hopes she gets the house when her MIL dies. How her husband has ED so she has a side piece but she “doesn’t promote cheating” her situation is just different. How he has to endure our marriage for our kids and do what he has to do to get through so the kids have him too.
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Other posts from /u/milkymaid105:
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your post is a bit confusion, but one thing is clear – stop communicating with MIL. In the long run, MIL will support her son over you.
perhaps you can work things out with your husband, but you and the children must never move back – that’s clear.
Ugh! Good lord, she’s a train wreck. If that’s where your husband learned about how relationships work, it’s no mystery why he’s struggling with managing his own.
Personally, I would block her number. Drunken nonsense isn’t anything you should need to deal with, and it’s pretty clear that she has no interest in anything about your relationship that doesn’t benefit her.
If your husband manages to get with the program, great. If not, he can stay with mommy, & keep on wondering why he can’t seem to get his life on track.