“We need to normalise XYZ” – no, we don’t.

r/

We don’t need to “normalise” people living separately from their partners or sleeping separately from their partners or having unique relationship or parenting arrangements or having kids or not having kids or having pets or not having pets or whatever you think we need to normalise before you feel comfortable doing it or having it.

Live your life. Do what you want. Structure your relationships however you damn well please, and stop waiting for the way you want to be to be considered “normal”. It doesn’t need to be normal to be perfect for you.

Comments

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  2. lotsagabe Avatar

    we need to normalise “live your life”, as you say.  whether some other lifestyle is normalised or not shouldn’t matter.  live your life and let others live theirs, regardless of whether or not their lifestyle, or yours, or others’, is normalised.

  3. Optimal_Cellist_1845 Avatar

    We need to normalize not having a strict adherence to the idea of “normal”.

  4. Pompous_Italics Avatar

    Yeah, my wife and I have separate bedrooms and it’s fantastic. We’re light sleepers. I get up earlier than she does. Neither of us wants to be woken up a hundred times during the night.

    I don’t care if it’s normal or not or whether other people approve. You don’t need the approval of some really confident but mediocre influencer or rando on Reddit.

  5. Falconman21 Avatar

    We need to normalize minding our own business.

  6. DarkRyusan Avatar

    So, to summarize. Don’t normalize being different just make being different more normal?

  7. Gauntlets28 Avatar

    Yes, thank you! People are so bloody insecure!

  8. GIS_wiz99 Avatar

    Personally I think normalizing “examine your zipper” is a good thing

  9. ChoiceReflection965 Avatar

    I mostly agree with this! Not everything is normal, and that’s okay.

    We DO need to keep working to socially normalize the things that ARE normal but are deemed “abnormal” for racist, sexist, or otherwise discriminatory reasons. For example, Black folks wearing their natural hair in professional settings or women taking sick days during their menstrual periods.

  10. lostcause412 Avatar

    If it needs normalized, it’s not normal.

    That being said, mind your own business and don’t force your beliefs on others

  11. ClockNo4364 Avatar

    So we need to normalize not needing to normalize things?

  12. neogeshel Avatar

    I find that, like, really problematic, because those are such valid feelings

  13. Potential_Wish4943 Avatar

    >> Live your life. Do what you want. Structure your relationships however you damn well please, and stop waiting for the way you want to be to be considered “normal”. It doesn’t need to be normal to be perfect for you.

    The concept of “Normal” has social utility. Normal is why you shit in a toilet and dont swear around grandma and say please and thank you and other things that savage child you didnt consider natural or intuitive.

    “Do whatever you want all behaviors are equally valid dont ever worry about what someone else thinks” is just ultra-libertine anarchy.

  14. Aggressive-Share-363 Avatar

    “Normalize” doesn’t mean “everyone should do this”
    It means “this should be considered part of the normal variation of human experience and choice”

  15. grimaceatmcdonalds Avatar

    “Or whatever you think we need to normalize before you feel comfortable doing it”
    They probably already feel comfortable doing it. Lots of times it’s social stigma or judgement from others that keep people from living their lives the way they want to, and like 8/10 times that stigma is completely based on an outdated social norm that doesn’t actually matter. So I kinda think it’s alright to “normalize” things.

  16. howjon99 Avatar

    Most people are like sheep..🐑

  17. SSYe5 Avatar

    if only humans werent judgy mfers

  18. hkusp45css Avatar

    It’s sad that this is unpopular, but it absolutely is.

    People need to stop asking for permission to be themselves.

  19. SomeRandomFrenchie Avatar

    Seems like people don’t understand that « normal » only means « in the norm » and that a norm does not mean it is « good » nor that it is to be followed.
    Quite often the norm does not even represent any individual.

    First exemple that comes to mind is clothes: Almost no standardized clothes fit perfectly on anyone, exactly because they are tailored according to a norm, the consequences of which are that they fit OK on most but perfect on nobody.

    Life decisions are not clothes, I am personally not going to settle for « OKish » for my life decisions.

  20. Careless-Ability-748 Avatar

    We need to normalize people not to critique or comment on other people’s choices just because it’s not what they would do. That’s really what “we need to normalize XYZ” means.

  21. meowmix778 Avatar

    This feels like a rant against people living nontraditional lifestyles. There are WAYYYY too many hyper-specific examples to just be off the cuff.

    “We should normalize” does not mean “everyone should do this,” it means “stop harassing me for doing something different.” … to phrase it differently, “Live your life. Do what you want.”

  22. Orpheus_D Avatar

    Please realise that normalisation is required because society discriminates against it non-normal behaviours through multiple avenues, be it culture (setting expectations), morality (finding what you do bad), process (not having accomodations for you), and law.

    All these impact you. You don’t exist in a vacuum. So yes, a wider array of behaviours need to be normalised.

  23. MolassesMuted6463 Avatar

    Only thing that needs to normalized AGAIN, is ppl to stop expecting or demanding other things from other people.

  24. Chuck_Schick Avatar

    Ok this is where I get confused with this sub… if I agree (which I do), does that mean I am supposed to downvote it?

  25. Odd_Spread_8332 Avatar

    We need to normalize discriminating against stupidity

  26. Falstaffe Avatar

    Most people don’t understand what “normalise” means. It doesn’t mean to give you permission. It means to require you to do something. Supporting your children is normalised; if you don’t do it, there are consequences, ranging from the social to the legal.

  27. LetsGoPanthers29 Avatar

    Yep — two or more things can be true at once.

  28. mrbourgs Avatar

    Phuk y’all

  29. BrowsingOnMaBreak Avatar

    I believe in these instances, they mean ‘destigmatise’ specifically. It’s hard to live life in a way that’s unconventional, even if you are perfectly happy with the choice. There is a lot of external pushback. We don’t exist in a vacuum.

  30. BusyBeeBridgette Avatar

    Even the word annoys me.

  31. MooseMan12992 Avatar

    Normalizing something means not judging the people who have already chosen to do those things

  32. NegativeGeologist200 Avatar

    Bro is THE conservative of all time

  33. Successful_Sea_6783 Avatar

    When people say that, they don’t really mean “this should be the normal way everyone does it”, they just mean “stop criticizing people who do these things and worry about yourself” which is what you’re saying here just with more words

  34. gameraven13 Avatar

    9 times out of 10 (edit: now that I think about how many posts are just putting their personal opinion on others I’ll drop this to it’s about 50/50 probably lol) “we should normalize” is less “other people should do this thing I’m doing” and more “this thing I’m doing is harmless and people need to stfu about it” which I think is a perfectly fine PSA. As long as it’s genuinely something that is completely up to personal preference like the whole sleeping in a different bed example, then yeah sure I tend to agree with those posts up to the point of where they impose their preference on other people which is just tipping the scales the other direction. At that point they’ve gone too far.

  35. VariousLandscape2336 Avatar

    Just accept that some things aren’t typical. If you feel that damn strongly about xyz, then potentially being an outlier shouldn’t scare you so damn much.

  36. okokokok78 Avatar

    Normal is boring, it’s honestly sad to think people care about the opinions of random people in order to function in this world

  37. mcjc94 Avatar

    The internet has a trend of using a legitimate concept (like “normalise”) and overuse it to the point that the original message is completely lost because of trendy people wanting to be ✨quirky✨

  38. katsock Avatar

    We need to stigmatize half the posts on this sub.

  39. endthefed2022 Avatar

    Starting to sound like a republican

  40. Banned4Truth10 Avatar

    But how are people going to feel good about their poor decisions?

  41. RyouIshtar Avatar

    I agree live your life but dont expect others to live how you want them to

  42. SlayerII Avatar

    I think the problem with people saying “we need to normalise X” they usually mean “i want to do X without having any consequences “

    For example the consequences of wanting to sleep in a different bed(room) than your partner is, that a lot of people will not want to be your partner.
    If you want to do that and find someone that also wants that or at least is OK with it, then more power to you to do that, but you kinda have to accept that most people won’t like that.

  43. MasterTeacher123 Avatar

    The “we need” stuff always annoyed me 

  44. Strong-Second-2446 Avatar

    That always pisses me off because people always say let’s “normalize” this when they actually mean let’s “destigmatize”

    Like it’s already normal, people do it all the time! they’re actually asking for society not to judge them for it

  45. JohnnyKarateX Avatar

    Um that’s what normalizing something means. Make it so that people don’t think how you live your life is weird and leave you alone to live your lives.

  46. LoqitaGeneral1990 Avatar

    I think what people are trying to say is “I like living my life XYZ, and I would like it if other people would stop being super weird about it”

  47. Dramatic_Mastodon_93 Avatar

    Strawman and semantics

  48. JustbyLlama Avatar

    You really went out and made this whole post because you disagreed with another post on this subreddit. This is why the OG poster said we need to normalize this stuff.

  49. JJHall_ID Avatar

    Without normalization it can lead to persecution for whatever it may be. Use homosexual marriage for example. While there is still work to be done, it’s a far different landscape now than it was 30 years ago. There is literally no reason there should be any stigma surrounding it, but we still have nutjob city clerks denying licenses, bakeries refusing to make cakes, and violence committed against people doing nothing but displaying love for each other in public. Normalization is reducing of that.

    What needs to be normalized is people minding their own damn business. People leading lives that fall outside of the “normal” box wouldn’t feel a need to try to have it normalized if everyone would just leave them alone and let them be.

  50. dathomar Avatar

    I think a lot of people, when they say that we need to normalize something, are saying it when it’s regarded as not normal to do that. They are simply saying that society needs to stop negatively judging that behavior. It needs to be regarded as a perfectly normal thing that some people do. They aren’t, as you seem to be suggesting, trying to make it the thing that everyone does. This isn’t a popular or unpopular opinion – it’s a complete misrepresentation of what people mean when say they want to normalize something.

  51. Life-Ad9610 Avatar

    Haha this one I agree with so much. Even the word “normalize” is annoying.

  52. HebiSnakeHebi Avatar

    Eh, somewhat true, yet also somewhat untrue. I think people confuse “normalize” with de-stigmatize.