I’ve seen countless cases of openly left leaning women go on dates with men who either say they don’t care for politics or is left leaning as well only to drop the truth bomb months or years into the relationship, when they know their girlfriend is too invested in them emotionally to breakup. This is extremely manipulative and to me it’s a form of trapping because they know you’re too emotionally dependent to actually leave them. The thing is, when they reveal the truth these men will act like they’re the victim, that how dare you not accept the fact that they lied to you and that it’s difficult for them to hide these beliefs too and that since they accepted yours you should accept them as well.
I myself dated a man who knew I was openly leftish and still pursued me, he looks like your typical leftish man and told me he wants to be child free and our relationship was not traditional at all so when I found out he was an alt-right guy this entire time of course I left him but the funny thing is he was the one who acted like the victim and was very defensive when I call out his hyprocracy, these men want the perks progressiveness but also uphold the patriarchy for their own privileges, they want the best for THEM and it is so normalized to lie about things like this while dating I think we should shame these men more because men will not hold men accountable.
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Crazy that they think hiding who they are and what their values they hold is any way to get into a relationship.
You have to ask them straight away. I wouldn’t go meet one unless I asked him point-blank who he voted for and about his beliefs. You shouldn’t wait months to find out. Yes it filtered most men out in my area- that’s fine with me.
“Not caring about politics” is code for right-wing. I live in SC. I’m very up front about being a progressive and most guys will lie and say they “don’t care about politics.” Every single time when pressed they hold conservative “values.” Now I just block the ones who tell me that. No left-minded person wants to be mistaken for a conservative so they’re usually pretty open about it with you having to ask.
Yes I just have to shake my head when I see women who are like “We have different beliefs but we still have a lot of the same hobbies!”
Okay that’s sweet and all in the beginning, but those “different beliefs” really have a way of manifesting themselves when you take major steps in life like having children.
Then all of sudden Mr. “Oh he just votes based on the economy” turns into Mr. “Oh shit he convinced me to leave my career to be a stay at home mom but now he constantly tells me I don’t do shit, and I need to stop spending HIS money. He refuses to give me a break from the children even for me to take a shower, because he says that’s MY duty as a woman. He thinks because he works I have to clean up his messes and have sex on demand – all while I’m looking after five children under five by myself!”
You had me at “ We need to shame men…” 😅
Maybe they should implement a bio fact-check system.
Readers Added Context: his “cabin by the lake” is a tent by the river.
Men lie so much. If you conservative, GO GET A CONSERVATIVE WOMAN!
I once dated a man who put on the “equality”facade but pressured me into sex by physical abuse and then refused to use a condom, told me if we ever got married he deserved to go to strip clubs because it was “traditional for men” to do that, and eventually when I dumped him he played the victim and became even more right wing.
He then got married, cheated on his wife, and was divorced in his early 20s.
The thing that gets me is that where are a wealth of women out there who share their values— like-minded individuals who are everything they could ask for, that they can be their true authentic selves around.
But many of them notably don’t go for them. And I am convinced that it’s because for them, the deception is part of the appeal. I have a theory that for some of them (particularly the evangelical conservatives), they fancy themselves as being like Christ saving Mary Magdalene, or the classic myth of the noble hero lifting up the fallen woman or taming the witch.
It’s like Trevor Noah has said, to paraphrase, these men often pursue free-thinking, liberal-leaning women because their dream is to put her in a cage.
Shame won’t work. Men have no shame. Just don’t date them at all. Maybe in a generation they will learn.
We sadly live in a time when women need to be digging deeper before getting serious. Men either laughably think they can change a woman or they think women will adore them more than the women enjoy personal freedoms and equal rights. Like, your D isn’t that magical, Trevor.
This is why I’m upfront about being a libertarian.