normally I dress two different ways around my guy and girl friends. With my girl friends I wear skirts, fitted jeans, spaghetti tops, etc. clothes that show some skin and my figure, because I feel more comfortable wearing whatever around girls.
But with the guys I’m a bit more of a tomboy. They have only ever seen me wearing baggy clothes, sweats, and stuff.
But they invited me to the beach.
Normally I would wear a shirt, or those swim dresses that cover up well. But one of my girls convinced me to try to be more confident in my body. So we went to buy bikinis. God i felt so nervous and exposed LOL. She wears whatever she wants and shows her goods off. I’m more self conscious with my body.
Somehow she convinced me to get a bikini. A 2-piece not a one piece. It’s like those string ones that really show 95% of your figure. I didn’t really want to get it but she said it would do me good to look “hot”. So I got it.
Now the thought of wearing that around my bros is nerve wracking. I don’t know how they’d react or if I’ll look silly. But I want to do this to boost my confidence. Some tips for this would really help.
edit: I just wanted to say thank you to all the helpful words of advice. I will definitely take small steps for this situation. Also for the weirdos: please stop dming me weird requests asking for pictures of me in a bikini. You will be blocked.
Comments
If you don’t want to wear it, don’t
If you think wearing a bikini would boost your confidence and that it’s worth some short term discomfort then go for it!
Is it a thong bikini
If you want to wear it then you should. If you feel good about wearing it then don’t worry about others.
perhaps the question underneath here is how your ‘bros’ might see you differently with your body clearly on display. If, so far, you’ve gone with a tomboy vibe, then this might be something of a ‘Princess Leia moment’ where seeing you near-nude for the first time awakens, or intensifies, mostly muted or dormant feelings of sexual desire. This isn’t a *bad* thing necessarily, but the question is whether you want that
Wear what make you comfortable, if you have the body for the 2 piece Roll with it ! We’ve all seen some that shouldn’t be lol
You’re overthinking it. We(guys) are desensitized to your bodies.
Forget the beach, have you been to a gym the past 10 years????
Y’all workout in your underwear. There’s no shame.
Girl I just stalked you a bit haha and you’re soooo pretty. I think you really should try the bikini.
I don’t know if you’d comfortable just yet but I think it would look gorgeous on you. You already look great and bikinis are so cute so it’ll add up.
I’ve personally always worn bikinis (2 piece, but more of a Brazilian rather than thong) and although I still have some insecurities I still prefer the way they look and it’s also helped me with confidence (although for me underwear and not bikinis helped more since I wasn’t showing anyone)
Also, if you want to talk I’m more than happy to do so 🫶🏻
Hope it helps
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Wear it, it will show that you are confident in yourself. Your friends will recognize and respect confidence. Most males enjoy being around confident women.
It’s swim wear, so wear it for swimming. Cover up to be comfortable when you’re not swimming.
You do not have to wear clothes to attract the male gaze to “show confidence” if you are not actually interested in being the subject of the male gaze. If these guys are like brothers, I think you’ll be fine and they will be respectful, but I would suggest bringing some swim shorts and/or a rash guard if you feel too uncomfortable, unless you think you’ll use them as a crutch. Maybe have a friend hold on to them for you?
I am 4,000% sure you will be cute in a bikini, but I also don’t think wearing a bikini is the only way to exhibit confidence in yourself. Personally, I will never not wear swim shorts again. I dislike sand up my hooha, sitting on hot decks, hot furniture, hot anything in swimsuit bottoms. It’s uncomfortable and I’ve burned myself, had to pluck gravel and sand out of my tush, and ended up with furniture patterns imprinted in my legs and backside. Just my take.
Maybe go with a two piece that stay’s put. There is a lot available between the swim dress I use on my 70 year old body and a string bikini. Opt for something cute and a little bare that still lets you swim, dive, waterski and swing off a rope swing without anything special popping out. Boy shorts and a bra top might work. You don’t want to give your guy friends a heart attack.
I say go the opposite way. Go look for one of those circa 1920s swimsuits that cover 90% of the body. Loose fitting but with a swim cap. Surprise everyone including your friend who went shopping with you. And….you wont get sunburned.
Get a loose gauzy button up shirt to wear as a wrap Then when you’re ready to go in the water (or just feel more comfortable doing it) you can take off the shirt.
Basically your guy friends are all gonna hit on you. I’m warning ya, but ay, if that’s what you want.
And do note, anyone hitting on you because you’re now wearing a bikini is likely doing it more out of lust than love/infatuation.
They’ll have their moobs out, it’s a beach, dress however you would for the beach.
The boys are not going to think you look silly.
They might be more attracted to you, but they’re not gonna think you look silly
It depends on if you’re looking to “build” your confidence or “boost” your confidence.
If you’re looking to build your confidence then building anything is slow and systematic. You work your way up, slowly, starting with things that give you minor discomfort and sticking with them until the discomfort isn’t there anymore before moving onto the next thing so that gradually the discomfort isn’t there anymore for anything. If that’s your goal, I don’t think jumping straight to casually wearing a revealing bikini, particularly with how uncomfortable it sounds like it makes you, is likely to help achieve it.
If you’re looking to boost your confidence, you’re possibly on the right lines, though you need to know that it will only be temporary. If you have low self-esteem, there tend to be two ways this happens. The first is internal, through your negative expectations being proven wrong. If you’re expecting a negative reaction, or to look bad, and you get compliments or an overwhelmingly positive reaction then you’ll have a temporary reprieve from your lack of self-esteem when you’re wondering what other negative expectations could be wrong.
The other is through attention, but not all attention is equal. You’ll get more of a boost when the attention is unexpected, from someone you didn’t expect. Same for if you want attention from the person. Given that a bikini is showing off your body specifically though, unless you have male friends with a keen fashion sense, any unexpected attention is likely to be sexual in nature and it doesn’t sound like you want that.
If you’re wanting long term benefits, you’re probably better picking something perhaps a little more form fitting than your usual wear, but that you feel mostly comfortable wearing. If you’re wanting that short term boost, you should focus on what you were worried the reaction would be after you’ve had a (hopefully) more positive experience than you were expecting. It’s probably also worth thinking in advance whether or not you’re comfortable with the attention you may get, from the people who are going to be there.
Either way, if you do decide to go ahead with it, buy yourself a nice bikini cover-up that you are comfortable in. The last thing you want is to discover that the anxiety is too much, or the attention is something you dislike, and find yourself trapped with it.
You should definitely wear what you want to wear
Do not dress for anybody else male or female
Sincerely, a dad
Sorry about the typo
Just wear it. Wanna be one of these lucky bastrds yeaa xd
Where what you were comfortable with and do not let anybody else influence you otherwise or make you feel guilty for what you wear the style that you wear
I’m a male in my 60s and just has a habit even at home. I wear a T-shirt around my family members because that’s what I feel comfortable with even when I go to the beach for a swim I’ll wear shorts but I will have a T-shirt on why because that’s what I feel comfortable with.
And as I said, you should wear what you feel comfortable with when you go to the beach or to a pool party
This is just ridiculous wear what ever you feel comfortable with. If you don’t want to then don’t wear it. Surely your mum would have taught you that.
I’m a 46 year old dad. I have a pool and I have nieces that are in their twenties that come over frequently and one of them exclusively wears bikinis. The other two go back and forth. Obviously those aren’t my friends they are my nieces and I don’t even notice. I do have friends that have come over and I don’t really notice. One of her friends I did notice because she had visible abs and she pointed them out because she was really proud and so yeah we looked because we were told to.
Anyway I don’t know if that’s helpful but it doesn’t matter the only thing that matters is that you are comfortable. If you feel good that’s all that matters. Yeah the male friends are probably going to take a peek because they sound younger and you know what humans like to look at things that are pretty.
If they stare in a creepy manner you can call them out and make it awkward.
Nobody said you needed to get the string bikini that shows up 95% of your body.
If you did decide to get a 2 piece, there’s nothing wrong with getting something like this
It’s still a 2 piece, but at least your ass isn’t hanging out like it is with a string/thong bikini.
If it feels overwhelming, bring a loose shirt or cover up you can toss on between swims. That way you’ve got an escape hatch if you need to reset your nerves a bit, but you still get those moments of pushing past the comfort zone.
If youre not comfortable wearing a bikini, dont wear one, you are indeed gorgeous, but its more about you being comfortable, not what those around you think.
If you decide to wear the bikini, go have fun, fake it until you make it with the confidence, and lastly this is very important. If they think of you as a bro, they may treat you as a bro and not a girl with boundaries. Make sure you set your boundaries and stand up for yourself if they get inappropriate with comments or actions. Make sure you wear/take coverup stuff in case you need it or get uncomfortable.
Otherwise wear what makes you comfortable already and have fun.
I feel like if you aren’t comfortable wearing it then it will show and confidence is more than half the battle when it comes to looking good id say just bring a big cover up with you in case you are to uncomfortable 😉
I’d wear whatever you find comfortable. You don’t want have a fun time ruined by self-consciousness
I agree with your friend that being confident and comfortable in things you want to wear is important. I also think it’s important not to convince yourself to things you don’t want to do.
So long as the guys aren’t weird about it, I don’t see any issue. And if they are, observe which ones do/don’t stand up for you and choose to be/not be friends with them anymore.
you can wear what you want to wherever you want, so if you’d be uncomfortable dressed in a bikini, don’t wear one. That being said, if you do end up wearing a bikini in front of your guy friends, at least 1 of those men are going to fall in love with you. Sorry, but thems the ropes.
Well I’m sure they will be surprised to see you In that but if they are good friends like you say you’ll be fine
If you aren’t comfortable wearing a bikini, then don’t wear it. Don’t let your friends pressure you.
just be prepared for them to look at you differently, they might become attracted and not so broish, more like trying to crush on you
Do you separate your friend groups on purpose or just a natural thing?
Wear what you want or have a cover-up in case you want to see how you feel first.
Also, is it more about how youll feel in what or what they might think? Its generally a non issue but if you go more modest one might wonder if that’s how you normally dress and ask.
I just looked at your profile. You have nothing to worry about. You are a very pretty girl! Just let it go, be warned your male friends may fall in love real quick, lol.
If you really want to do this, first wear it for a full day when you are at home so you are acustumed to the feeling. Then wear it when you go out, while wearing other clothes above it to hide it. Then wear it in a setting where you either don’t know anybody, or only the people you are most comfortable with.
Your comfort is what’s important here. Have your male friends said or done anything that leads you to believe they’ll respond in a way that will make you uncomfortable or upset?
Get a nice cover up that’s somehow translucent to break the ice for your confidence. Cute mesh/net poncho or something that isn’t awkward to take off. This should help you.
Just do what you want. You can be more covered up and still look hot. Think like one piece with cutouts. It’s about what’s flattering, not how much skin you’re exposing. Actually covering up and certain shapes can be more flattering and look better
Really wanting to see for myself
I don’t think wearing conservative clothing has to mean that you’re not confidence with your body. When you say that you wear less conservative clothing with girls and MORE conservative around men, I’m hearing that gaining the attention of guys isn’t your primary concern. To me this seems like a tough situation. Wear a bikini, and risk receiving potentially unwanted attention from those you see at brothers, or complete strangers… or don’t wear a bikini, potential receive that attention anyway (because let’s face it, guys are pigs) and get accused of not being body confident enough by your girlfriends.
Regardless, it’s up to you. Nobody knows your friend group better than you do, and if you think it’s a safe space and you want to loosen up a little, that’s completely understandable and totally your call. If you DONT feel comfortable enough then friends will gladly accept and respect your boundaries.
As a girl who had a lot of guy friends growing up, be prepared for them to look at you differently. If you do not want that, wear the bikini around strangers and your girls only to start. Unless you want them to look at you like a piece of meat, because they might. They might try not to act different if they were raised well and with manners, but they might look at you and think of you a bit differently going forward.
I am all for confidence boosting, just think about the audience is all I am saying. Do what feels right to you.