Hi Reddit!
I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for almost 5 months now and things are going great! But my dilemma is, I got myself this lingerie from Torrid a while back and I plan on surprising him with me wearing it but I am scared I might chicken out!
For context, I am a very curvy girl and have had problems with body positivity for years. My boyfriend loves me for me and I consider it a bonus that he loves my curves!
Here’s the dilemma: We got a hotel booked for next weekend and that means we will be having some alone time together! And I want to surprise him by wearing it! But I’m SCARED!!!! The lingerie is like a dress! I never wear dresses or anything like that! So I want to chicken but I also want to take that step out of my comfort zone and surprise my man!
Any advice on how to calm my nerves?
Thanks Reddit!!
Comments
Totally normal to be nervous. He already loves your curves, so he will be thrilled. Try wearing it alone first to boost confidence, you got this
Remember that he is gonna be excited af to see you in sexy lingerie. Wear it with confidence and take charge. You got this. Confidence is sexy af.
Enjoy all of it! The experience, sharing the moment together! It’s going to be fun! You guys are going to have a Great Time! No Stress on Show night! The stress in the preparing for the gig. Show Night is the celebration of all the preparation. I’m excited for you guys.
Take a moment alone in the bathroom to put on your lingerie. Look in the mirror, take a deep breath and remember why you are doing it. It’s not just about the lingerie, it’s about the confidence you’re building. Then enjoy every moment alone, make it a night to remember🤩
It’s great bonding! We are older and divorced now. But let me tell ya The two of us would whoop it up. Being goofy, it’s like the adult teenage years. A couple hotels had all new rules returning the following year. No candles, boom boxes, glow in the dark body paints, black light, smoke machines, disco balls. We thought the list was very particular lol We would go during off season at the ocean. Neighbors banging on the doors, Shut up in there! We are like, what are you jealous? What do you guys live here Hahahahaahah own the moment
Just do it ….and you will become a lingerie queen be buying some more
You got this! You are awesome and very sweet surprising your man, now imagine the hotness you’ll be getting into. Tell those nerves to take a hike! Youre having fun that weekend!
If you’re worried how you “think” he will view you, remember that he has probably seen you naked. Dim the lights low, maybe even a couple of candles. Either come out from the bathroom or wait under the blankets for him. Lingerie is like unwrapping a present. Who doesn’t love a surprise present from who they’re with?
Wear a close matching robe over it until you feel more comfortable/frisky.
Honestly… there’s nothing better than seeing your woman in lingerie. And there is the added bonus of if youre self conscious of your body, lingerie can help hide things a bit while also creating enticement for your partner.
I loved the suggestion of wearing it for yourself a few times first so you feel more comfortable in it.
Trust me… nothing gets my motor running more than my wife putting on some sexy lingerie. The signal that sends of “I want you to do naughty things to me” is exquisite.
Girl he’s going to love it. I am sure you’re 🔥🔥!!
I struggle with the same mindset and fears and my boyfriend (now fiancé) loves it!! You got this!!
Positive self talk like saying “I am a so hot!” Etc helps settle the nerves and help with confidence for me anyway. Enjoy 😎❤️
Wear it with confidence. The more confident you are the more normal it will seem to him.
Even if it’s very unflattering on you, which it probably isn’t, I guarantee your boyfriend will be excited by you just for trying to be sexy, and he will feel special because you did something like this for him.
In any situation a man who really loves you will see his girlfriend even if you don’t look objectively your best.
If he doesn’t like it, he’ll take it off. Win/win.
Let me tell you being a guy how simple we are ….. you putting on that Lingerie he will absolutely love it ! Just the fact you are trying something new and out of your comfort zone to make him happy….. he is gonna love it! These are simple facts …. Don’t over think us …. Just keep it that simple and I promise dude will LOVE it … prolly be smiling ear to ear all weekend long so don’t let the doubt ruin a great weekend ! Cheers
If my wife looks perfect in lingerie as a bigger girl she goes from a 10 to a 15…. if she looks awkward in it she goes from a 10 to a 14. All because the look is less than half the reason for lingerie.
The look is secondary, the effort that goes into it and makes us feel desired is what we love most.
I wouldn’t worry about it. If he’s anything like me (love me some curves and thickness) then that lingerie ain’t gonna be on long. Wear it then be prepared to be savaged! Consider what you’re giving him as a gift he can unwrap.
Girl he is going to die when he sees you!! If it makes you more comfortable turn off the lights
I promise you he won’t care whatsoever people usually don’t see you how you see yourself and if he’s already been with you for 5months obviously he loves you’re curves
This is definitely going to blow his socks off, the first thing to be blown that night.
He already likes the present why would he not like it gift wrapped? Rock it!
Reframe the emotion. You are not freaking out, you are freaking EXCITED!
And he will be, too. This is gonna be fun!
I have been terrified of doing this myself and I’d been married to him for years. I completely understand.
What i would like you to understand is that his face will light up, and he will really appreciate you doing this for him.
Go for it honey, you got this.
My wife is curvy and I love when she puts lingerie on for a fun night at home. If he loves your curves, hes gonna live you in something sexy to show off the curves.
Just enjoy the moment and don’t over think.
You got this, Girl. Either way, you are right, we gots your back.
Go for it sis
It’s normal to be nervous, you’re doing something out of your comfort zone & something you’ve never done before. I’m sure he will love it! Remember, he loves you & your body, you truly have nothing to worry about!
Set up some battery powered candles to create soft lighting. Add a little romantic music, and slowly drop your robe. You won’t be wearing that dress long enough to think about how it looks. Just focus on the way he looks at you when he sees you.
I recommend trying it on and wearing it around your place so you feel comfortable in it. And practice taking it off. You don’t want to be fighting the lingerie on your date night. 😂
Tbf if he likes you and what you are working with then when you surprise him with this hes going to be feeling a lucky man. Not only are you his type, but you are making an effort. Thats a compliment most men will appreciate. Youll make him feel manly and allsorts.
Remember: It is just supposed to be fun! Don’t sweat it! Stop thinking about it in terms of performance and think about it as a form of play.
If hes never seen you in lingerie before, you better bring some ibuprofen because hes finna break your back girl
Totally normal! I’ve been with my husband for the last decade and I still get shy and nervous when I step out with a little lingerie get up. Like you said, loves your curves!!! He will appreciate the sweet (and sexy) gesture. Be confident sis!!! 🥰🙏🏼🙏🏼🫶🏼
This got me so excited for y’all I just went online trying to find something sexy to wear for my wife !
Curvy girls are gorgeous! And Torrid has amazing lingerie. Comfortable and flattering. Maybe do a “trial run” of how you want to look on your special night (hair, makeup if you wear it, etc.). It can build the antcipation and help you from overthinking on the day of. You got this! It’s nerve-wracking at first but then it becomes empowering and fun to explore your sexy side.
If you have some favorite music to dance to that really makes you feel empowered and beautiful you could dance (on your own) in your new lingerie to get more confidence. It will start to feel like the new (fabulous) normal! All the best to you!
You two can just hang out in lingerie. Get him something sexy too. 😏
Grab a red light bulb or a black-light bulb, and swap it into one of nightstand lights by the bed. All other lights off and use the fancy bulb to transform the mood. He will know what’s coming and be drooling when he sees you. Also add some mood music. He will want a show every weekend 😉
Aw this is exciting lol
Even if you’re feeling scared or insecure/not confident, you need to fake it til you make it!
Your bf already knows your body so I’m sure he’s gonna love seeing it in something fun and fancy so embrace it/own it and have fun!
Awwwww girl it’s normal to be nervous but I can guarantee he will be so excited! Maybe you can say you need to use the restroom and come out with it on to add a surprise level to it. You rock that thing and enjoy your alone time.
Ohhhh girllll he is going to LOVE that! It can be very intimidating at first. I like to wait until I’m home alone then throw some on and lounge around or do miniscule chores. It helps me get more comfortable and confident being in it
GIRLLL YOU GOT IT UPDATE US!! HES GONNA LOVE ITTTTTT HE LOVES YOU FOR YOU GIRL BE CONFIDENT
Might sound silly, but try it on at home, set up your phone, and take a video as if the camera is him. Turn on mood lighting and everything. Watch it back and see how hot you look, and that’s what he’s getting. He’s lucky! Also remember, men are simple, he loves you nude, he loves you clothed, he’s going to go nuts just by the sheer novelty of it all!
5 months together and things are going great, he thinks you’re the most gorgeous person alive. Go for it!
Get yourself a night at home alone. Get a big bottle of champagne. Have a nice hot bath and celebrate Treat Yo’self 2025 early. Play some hype music that gets you dancing and having fun. Get tipsy – not drunk – and make a night of wearing the lingerie, getting comfortable in it, and learning to see yourself and your beauty through your partner’s eyes. You are beautiful. You juat haven’t realized it yet.
You’ll only be wearing it for a minute. Relax.
He’s gonna love it! Take it easy,, enjoy and share the moment! Enjoy your special weekend!
You got this, girl! He’s going to be THRILLED. And this will be a great way for you to start to feel more confident about your body and may even open you up to wearing dresses!
I am also a plus size girlie and my partner LOVES it when I put on something special. Trust me, your nerves will turn to excitement pretty quickly and you will want more lingerie!
If you ever want to add something to a look, I highly recommend these! Easy to put on and take off and definitely takes your look to the next level.
Faux Garter Tights @ Torrid
Go look at a ton of curvy girls on the nsfw side of reddit. Seriously. You’ll learn how to see beautiful in every size; even your own. Go watch plus size p*rn. Really. See how girls with your body move and feel hot.
Trust me as a 42 yr old momof 4 that’s been size 10->30 and am married to a size 18/20. Girls are hot in every size- says this old lesbo. 🙂