I’ve been dating my girlfriend for six months now, and one thing that’s been weighing on me lately is that I still haven’t talked to her about my finances. It’s not that I’m hiding something bad – I actually make around $9K a month and have about $80K saved up. The savings came from a mix of steady work, living below my means, and yeah, a bit of unexpected luck from a sports bet win last year that gave me a nice little boost.
But despite being in a good spot financially, I haven’t brought any of it up with her. Part of me is afraid that talking about money could shift the dynamic in a weird way. I don’t want things to become transactional or for her to feel like there are expectations – or worse, for her to treat me differently because of what I’ve saved.
At the same time, I know money is a huge part of any long-term relationship, and not talking about it might end up causing more problems later. I’m not sure how or when to bring it up, or if six months is still too soon to lay everything out. But it’s starting to feel like I’m hiding a pretty big part of myself.
Comments
Why would you tell people about your finances? That’s not important. If she asks cool. If not? Cool. It’s not that deep.
You’re not moving in together so you’re good. Worry about who’s paying for what when that matters. Pay for her things however much you desire but you aren’t obligated to show her your paystubs
Unless you are moving in with each other, keep it private.
No need to tell her.
It’s not really something that needs to be brought up unless you’re living together, sharing finances and actively planning your future together. On that same note it is okay to have a conversation about financial responsibility before getting to the points I brought up and probably should be talked about because it can become an issue in the future if one person is financially responsible and thinking ahead while the other blows money on frivolous things
No need to tell her if you don’t have significant debt. I think CC debt is a huge red flag, though, and I want to know before things got too serious if someone I was dating was carrying a credit card balance from moth to month and paying 20% APR. that’s financial lunacy
There’s no reason at all to tell her anything yet. Guilt unwarranted. Relax.
80k is nice but it ain’t crazy money bro keep yourself in check
Unless you are combining bills and/or finances, absolutely no reason to talk about what you earn or have saved with someone you’ve been dating for 6 months.
You are overthinking things in a new relationship