Hi guys, I’m looking for advices.
I’m a 17 yo boy and kinda suffering of “loneliness” (don’t wanna appear as cringe). I technically have friends and stuff but not really any with which I have the feeling I can confess how I feel and they’ll be there without any judgment.
I’ve been feeling really lost, having a hard times finding the balance, I’m an ok student and want to do great studies so I gotta stay focus. If I didn’t have to I would probably have done some shit. I lived mostly alone all my life and was seen as a weird dude (maybe cause I am) and this year I started to hang out, making friends but still doesn’t feel like myself, like if I were mostly pretending.
And right now I just want some love, got my first gf a few months ago but we broke up (we got together too quickly and wasn’t meant for each others). I guess I just wanna feel important to someone to stop acting to have some, I hate that I feel like I’m doing everything just for that but I can’t help it. So I feel as the same time more mature than ever and I never understood the world so well but I feel a very deep loneliness or Idk what it is, flooding in my veins, I’m getting so tired and bad thoughts are getting stronger and stronger. I’d just like to be able to live for myself bad gosh it’s hard. I can’t talk to anyone that’s awkward and if someone accepted I couldn’t stop talking about it.
There’s still so much to say but my mind has been having a hard time thinking clearly lately.
Do you guys have any advices from experience, cause I feel like I’m gonna seriously shot myself if it continues.
Ps: sorry if it’s not very constructive
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Here’s an original copy of /u/Hubbleye’s post (if available):
Hi guys, I’m looking for advices.
I’m a 17 yo boy and kinda suffering of “loneliness” (don’t wanna appear as cringe). I technically have friends and stuff but not really any with which I have the feeling I can confess how I feel and they’ll be there without any judgment.
I’ve been feeling really lost, having a hard times finding the balance, I’m an ok student and want to do great studies so I gotta stay focus. If I didn’t have to I would probably have done some shit. I lived mostly alone all my life and was seen as a weird dude (maybe cause I am) and this year I started to hang out, making friends but still doesn’t feel like myself, like if I were mostly pretending.
And right now I just want some love, got my first gf a few months ago but we broke up (we got together too quickly and wasn’t meant for each others). I guess I just wanna feel important to someone to stop acting to have some, I hate that I feel like I’m doing everything just for that but I can’t help it. So I feel as the same time more mature than ever and I never understood the world so well but I feel a very deep loneliness or Idk what it is, flooding in my veins, I’m getting so tired and bad thoughts are getting stronger and stronger. I’d just like to be able to live for myself bad gosh it’s hard. I can’t talk to anyone that’s awkward and if someone accepted I couldn’t stop talking about it.
There’s still so much to say but my mind has been having a hard time thinking clearly lately.
Do you guys have any advices from experience, cause I feel like I’m gonna seriously shot myself if it continues.
Ps: sorry if it’s not very constructive
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If you want to feel less lonely, lean on your support group. You said you have friends who wouldn’t judge you if you were to open up. Then do that. You shouldn’t expect people to come save you or cure your loneliness, you gotta put some effort in changing that as well. And the first step can be expressing yourself to your friends.
No advice, just solidarity. Hang in there.
You sound fine. You have problems, everyone does, but they are largely in your head and caused by how you interpret the world. When I was a teen I overthought the shit out of everything and dug myself into a psychological hole of my own making that left me lonely and angry for most of my 20s. The world often doesn’t make sense, it is objectively arbitrary and unjust. I tried to square that for a long time, but it caused me far more pain than accepting it and getting on with life. Eventually you’ll have to come to terms with that truth and make peace with your place in the world.
If you read, I can recommend Feeling Good by David Burns. If you are interested in philosophy, Wes Cecil has been posting videos which really cut to some of the tensions of our time and might help stimulate you intellectually. Its helpful to listen to others than to sit in your head all day.
Frankly try to find things to occupy yourself with, i.e. get hobbies. If they happen to be social ones, then it’s twice as good as instead of doing something to not be bored, you get to socialize and make friends as well. I wish I did more of that when I was your age as during your late teens you have a looooooot of free time with little responsibilities.
Also when it comes to friendships, once you find the right people it’ll just feel natural, it won’t be pretending. I haven’t found too many, but the ones I have feel really natural and good