My gf has told me today that she is going out today with another man on their own. They have been friends for a while and the guy has asked her out before but she said no. He is also quite a sexual guy with a lot of different people and had underage sex, drugs and alcohol. My gf says I need to trust her and that there is nothing to worry about and that he isn’t her type anyway and that she would never replace me. I trust her and love her so much I just can’t help feel uncomfortable as it is just the two of them out of their own and I have never met this guy before. Do I have the right to feel uncomfortable or am I just being paranoid?
What am I supposed to do?
r/AskMen
Comments
Obviously you’re in the right. I wouldn’t let my girlfriend hang out on her own with a guy who has previously asked her out, nevermind all the other things you mentioned about this guy. Imagine how your girlfriend would feel if you hung out with a girl who previously asked you out and who is super sexual etc. Your gf is also just steamrolling over your concerns like they’re nothing. Be more firm about it.
You already know it bud, you already know it.
But you also can’t chain her to the bed to secure the relationship, if this is how she does things sooner or later there will be another “don’t worry about it” guy friend, then another, and then another…
I guess this comes down to whether you trust her.
My wife’s best friend is a guy, they go out for dinner and hang out just the two of them fairly regularly. I have no issues with it, trust them both, and I like seeing the positive impact this friendship has on my wife.
Edit: I would add, we chat about what they did, what food she had, what they chatted about etc, so from a ‘what to do’ point of view if you can handle friendship without jealousy take an interest, ask if they had fun etc, make sure its a comfortable space to talk about the friendship without making it into a bad thing
You can’t control her, nor her actions.
But you have control about yourself and your actions. You can sit there and see the tragedy unfold or you can take Action and stand your ground and your feelings.
You absolutely have the right to feel uncomfortable. If you let her know that it makes you uncomfortable and she still is going out alone with another man then she isn’t showing you the respect you deserve in a relationship.
Were you invited to go out with them? Is there a reason you aren’t going if you were? If you weren’t even invited then that’s a big red flag too.
The stuff she’s saying sounds like mild gas lighting to me.
You keep saying “out on her own”. Do you expect to chaperone her everywhere? You don’t trust her. And without trust you can never have a healthy relationship.
So she said she understands ur feeling but is going anyway? That just means she doesn’t care about how u feel. It could also be he seeing if you would stand up for yourself and just tell her no. Either way if u don’t stand up now this will happen over and over again
Choose now how you want the rest of your life to look. You know what’s going on and the reality of the situation. There are way too many options out there to be locked into this situation.
She is allowed to be friends with whoever she wants.
Relax.
If you trust her, which you said you do, then chances are nothing will happen.
You need to relax a bit. Don’t be overly clingy or worried/anxious.
I doubt your gf would be upset if you went out with a female friend for a few hours.
You should never do things in a relationship where your partner is not welcome. Doesn’t mean you have to do everything together but you should always be able to