In summary, I (24 F) had a fight with my partner (24 M) [~ 4 year relationship] over something I was doing (going to the gym early in the morning when he comes from his overnight second job) and we have very different perspectives: I can’t talk for him but essentially his point of view is that I am being selfish over going to the gym instead of being with him in bed while he rest until is time for his first job/first shift. My point of view is that while he is resting I spent some time (1 hr to 1.5 hr) to myself and work on my physical and mental health while going to the gym and I think he is being selfish over wanting me to be at home always. Thus, while I understand what he means that there is little time to spent with each other due to his two jobs and the little time he gets he wants me to be with him, I also want to have my personal time and be outside for a little. I am a stay at home mom and full time online student so my life is pretty much in the house so that’s my reasoning. Anyway, basically my point is how to recognize which perspective is more reasonable and how to deal with these type of differences.
TL;DR Had a fight with my boyfriend, he says I am selfish while I say he is the one being selfish. I don’t know how to address this difference and how to reflect on who’s actually “right and/or wrong “
Comments
He sounds keenly selfish, sorry
I’m sorry for you. I’m in a pretty similar situation. I had my university admission exam and my bf was very “affected” saying I made him feel not so important since I couldn’t text him often due to the fact that I was studying and spending a few days with my family in another city (the city where I took the exams). Even though I know his behavior was inappropriate, it’s hard for me to simply decide to leave him, because he can be the sweetest man on Earth too. Don’t be like me. Put yourself first. You deserve someone who supports you, not drags you down. Be confident, I’m sure you’re a smart, beautiful young lady who deserves the world so focus on yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel bad, especially this selfish guy.