What are some “kind” gestures or social norms that make you feel uncomfortable or even pressured?
What are some “kind” gestures or social norms that make you feel uncomfortable or even pressured?
r/AskWomen
What are some “kind” gestures or social norms that make you feel uncomfortable or even pressured?
Comments
My dad’s side of the family is Mexican/indigenous- and so it’s normal to kiss your family, sometimes even on the mouth, and it ALWAYS bothered me. And one day I finally said no thank you and it was a huge debacle. My dad still tries to (that’s a whole other kettle of fish that I won’t trauma dump about), but I never allow it.
Being offered tea or coffee in a business setting: like an interview or some kind of large purchase consultation.
You can’t say no because it’s considered rude for some reason, even if you genuinely don’t want anything. But saying yes normally means you will have to deal with some bitter nespresso abomination or the cheapest most flavorless tea they could find. Not to mention, some people will try to judge your entire character based on the way you respond to this “hospitality”.
not uncofortable but I dont care for it: always hugging good bye. Why can’t you just say “bye!” and leave?
kisses hello.
Come to think of it, the older I get the more I dont want people to touch me lol. I dont recall ever having this issue when I was in my teens/20s lol.
I’m highly introverted, and as a child my mom always made me say hello to every.single.person at a party/gathering when arriving or goodbye when leaving. I’m an adult now, and although I don’t have to do this anymore I feel bad if I do not.
I don’t like it when people offer to let me go first against incoming traffic. I’ve seen so many people almost get nailed.
Shaking hands. I’ve always struggled with sweaty palms (hyperhydrosis) & the anxiety & expectation of shaking hands makes it worse. I’ve been in work situations where I saw people visibly cringe & wipe their hand after shaking mine. The covid elbow bump was an awkward godsend for me.
All what you would call “chivalry” when it comes from men I’m not into and who use this to get close to me, helping into a coat, opening doors, drinks invites. Nope.
Also I don’t like being hugged, besides close friends and family.
And there is one “kind gesture” that actually makes me fear for my life: when drivers give me, a cyclist, the right of way despite me not having it. I know the rules, you go first, I wait, please behave in a predictable way when you are made of tons of metal!
People (usually men) stopping the flow of foot traffic to gesture for me go ahead of them, then waiting for me while I’m confusedly wondering why they’re holding everyone up, then them saying “ladies first”.
I can’t be the person who drops off containers of home made food when someone is sick, caring for an indefinite time period etc. Mainly adults though. I also don’t offer to look after my friends kids (with rare exceptions). I am just really bad at that sort of thing. I hate it. unless the nature of the work is explicitly clear-cut with no scope for slippage, maybe outwardly it makes me look like an a-hole but having people depend on me makes me feel like I am drowning in a bottomless pit of someone else’s problems Yeah I am probably avoidant